The Vastness of Space - CMDR's Log
12 Feb 2021Kirimae
Staring out into the vastness of space, the ever reaching starfields glinting with the promise of new life, new worlds… I am alone.Seasoned travellers call it space sickness, or space madness. I’ve felt it creeping in now for a while. It’s when the walls of your ship creep in on you, and the vastness of space feels crushing. You’re out here all alone, and the weight of the emptiness is unbearable.
Exploring is my life, I live for this. The Quetzalcoatl has dragged me around half of the systems in the bubble - I’ve mapped planets never before mapped, been the first to put my SRV down on soils unknown. This is the first time I’ve ventured this far, barely outside the bubble.
The Asp Ex - with its trusty fuel scoop - has meant that I haven’t had to return to port for a while, and with this trip to the Trifid Nebula still being another 121 jumps on the fastest route, I’m at just under half of my jumps I’ve already done.
Hell, its not like I’m even travelling out to Beagle Point, and I’m already going crazy out here.
Jump, honk, maybe surface scan a planet, maybe land. I’m aware that one mistake out here might cost me millions, but that wild siren call of doing something crazy is fraying at the edges of my sanity.
Telepresence has saved me somewhat. Being able to talk with friends and family, even reaching out across the stars to my husband on his next venture - out at HIP 54530 I think - has been a relief. I feel the palpable distance between us, and it hurts… but I’m not about to give up this passion for exploring, maddening though it sometimes is.
I just have to keep going, one jump at a time.