HUMBLE SPACER 23 NOV 3306 (masquerade)
23 Nov 2020Igli
Being a captain of a luxurious passenger shuttle is a tremendously hard work. Not piloting it, nay. Auto-pilot does it well enough and I rarely touch flight controls myself. It's projecting an image - that's what makes it difficult. An image of a confident, fearless, square-shouldered-spitting-at-danger super hero. Most of the time I can mimic this. I've got shoulder pads inside my jacket.At the same time a captain must express earnest sympathy towards passengers and be courteous with ladies. A captain is a pivotal figure during a space journey: all-knowing, sincerely caring (father-like), supportive and reliable. Must have excellent manners, effortlessly guide a small talk during a dinner and dance like Pan. This I fail miserably. I always step on my partner's foot several times during a dance.
This job became frustrating no end. I was extinguishing a burning feeling of worthlessness and a general disappointment with fate in a dark corner at the far end of the machine room when the bar maid found me and wrung a half-empty bottle from my hands. "Bitch," - she said - "you could have picked a less expensive liqour from my bar! Usually you are quite indiscriminate when choosing what to be stoned with."
- Err... It's my bar...
- Shut up.
- Me... your boss I am... I will...
- No, you won't . Without me you'll drink yourself to bankruptcy and you know it. Either learn to dance or hire a dancer, loser.
A good idea, I thought the next bleak and painful morning. Mental exertions gave me splitting pain in the head and my mouth felt dry. I needed to moisturise it urgently. I decided to combine business and healing and chose a semi-decent saloon preferred by local beaumond outcasts.
I was feeling almost healthy after a third glass of medicine when I noticed a potential candidate enter the room: a middle-aged man, well into forties, tall and imposing, with slightly greyish hair and a noble profile. I jestured him to sit by and offered him a drink. Soon we became best friends. He turned out to be exactly what I needed: an actor (he impersonated a bottle of cola in the streets), he was good at conversation and he could dance really well. I hired him.
Now my passengers are greeted on board by a brilliantly polite and handsome character dressed in impeccably clean black and gold captain's coat and hat. He spends all his time with them, amuses them and pleases the ladies, while I, dressed in simple coveralls pretend to be a mere mechanic.