Logbook entry

Rehab, pt.1

17 Sep 2021August Davenport
Continued from The Dock

A thick fog of pain and darkness keeps me from noticing more than the white lights passing from too-bright to slightly less bright, even with my lids closed. It's too bright. It's too heavy, I feel myself trying to turn myself to yak, but something keeps it on my mouth. I feel the fluid slosh a moment. Then a hand comes over my mouth, lifts something I hadn't noticed. A mask. Bile pours out and down my cheek, into my ear. I'm too weak to do anything else. I go black.

I wake back up. Where am I? A pressure suit? A pool? A nurse or a doc comes over. I see a needle. I try to speak, nothing comes out. I'm out.

I dream. Floating in space. Alone. So utterly alone. So black out in Fields. I think I'm going to die. No air. Can't breathe.

I gasp awake. Clutching my chest, I feel the hollowness of my last excursion into the black. Even this thin, I feel the heaviness of my body, my bones. It's too bright. Someone comes over from another bed. "Oh, you're awake. You've been out a while. How are you feeling?" I can't see them, but their silhouette.

"Ugh.... lights, please," I moan.

"Oh, sure. One moment." They go and turn the lights up. What cruelty!

"No.... off, please."

"Oh! They were!" The dimness returns, slightly. "Still sensitive to light? We'll script you glasses to handle that."

I moan. There's a battery of questions, making sure my brain isn't fried. I pass. I'm still me.

"Can you lift your arms?"

I try. "A little." It's almost a lie. My hands barely lift off the bed.

"Okay, that's fine."

I keep trying. I groan and get them a little harder. "It's like lifting an SRV," I complain through gritted teeth.

"Hey, don't kill yourself over this. You've made it back. That's better than most who go through what you've been through." They pause and take a note. We both know what that means. Rapid Redevelopment Therapy. I'd only heard horror stories.... Fuck.

I suck in a breath and try to move myself in bed, struggling into futility. They come and lift me upright. "Thanks. So, when do we get started?"

"Soon as the approval gets back to us. In the mean time, just wait. Lunch will be around soon."

Later, I'm trying to chew. My jaw feels like its made from steel its so heavy, but at least I can eat. And I'm not shitting myself, yet. Small victories.

(Continued on Rehab, pt.2 )
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