Logbook entry

A wish upon a star

29 Oct 2021Cicadia
Darkness gives way to orange-red hues of a dusty sky. Howling winds, caught in the curve of shattered canopy, masking the sounds of combat in it's defeaning roar. Flames lick at purple flesh and damaged consoles covering the four flight seats with fleeting white sparks. Gravity pulls, rough metal pressing against spine. Numbing pain coursing through one's skull. Nerve-tingling pain gives way to serenity as a star in the skies brightens. The majestic K-class star of Hip 74304, a brilliant yellow-white. Impossibly close. Reaching. Calling. Get up.

A room. Plain yet polished steel walls. Two pillars. A blade lays on the floor. Three rifles. Three doors. Plasti-glass and frosted, reflecting the dim red light of alarms as gunfire reverberates through Navarro's Hold's corridors as it shakes underfoot. The right-most door opens, and comes closer. An inset bunk, a terminal. A cell. A woman's body dressed in crimson sheets. Chestnut hair and purple lips. A skull-shaped helmet on a man's figure, all in black. An intimidator in his hands. The woman's body eaten away in purple fire. A searing pain. A hopeless despair.


Thallia's eyes opened slowly, reflecting the deep orange glow of a LTT 12058's star as she gazed out through an observation deck's window. With the 'Bake Sale' parked close to the celestial heart of the system it's light left a comfortable warmth throughout the ship. Her metal chair and table, moved and screwed down to face out into the stars, felt colder on the skin of her arm. In her hand a packet of cigarettes with it's lid pulled open. She could not tell how many were left for how her hands shook. With a disgusted grimace, Thal closes the lid, arcs her arm and releases the packet towards the bin inset into the dark steel wall. Spiralling gracefully, it hits the wall to the side of the bin and begins a slow flight back.

"Urgh...Stars." The woman clasps her hands, tilting her head down to glare at them. Her champagne hair hiding the world from view, before looking back up to the light outside. "I...I'm in over my head." Slumping back in the chair, two fingers pinching the bridge of her nose, she let a long drawn sigh escape her. For a few long minutes, Thallia gazes towards the star. Pensive. Lost in thought.

With a gingerly glance towards the doorway, making sure it was sealed, Thal stood up. Coming right up to the glass, she places her hand on it's smooth, warm surface as she gazes through wet eyes to fiery spirit. "H...how do I keep up with what the void throws at us? Nearly twice we... I... lost Isabella. Starlight. She went alone to Navarro's hold. Headstrong. Confident. Such a badass... but perhaps that radiance left me blind? From orbit I watched as her vital's dropped. Her comms went off grid. The guards leaving her to bleed out. I... I should've been down there. I should've been able to stop that happening." Her eyes closed as forehead softly met glass. "I felt the cold of the voids truly seep into my bones... I recall our efforts. Solix. Spectre. Roza's sacrifice. The fear that... that... that didn't let me rest. The determination that drove the others. That's...is that the difference? Stars... if only. If only."

"She is safe now, thanks to the other Commander's interventions. Solix clearing the skies. Spectre clearing Navarro's hold with his blade. A blade... straight from an Alliance Holo-film, seriously... both are so skilled. So strong." Condensation gathers on the glass as she sighs. "CSF pardoned us with Aurora's kindness. She was with 'Bella in the ward, as well as so many others I hadn't met before."

"The hours since were difficult as Paladin forces continued to prosecute their violence. A counter strike that slay CSF forces. The torture of CSF personnel. Isabella took it particularly hard, believing their choices were of her making. Her fault. She nearly...I've not seen her so aggressively focused before. I understand that she needed to do ~something~ but I think... I think she... would've died, had she left the Solaris." Thallia choked up, frowning deeply as she struggles against an uncomfortable tightness in her throat. Imagery conjured into her mind of those moments. A thunderous Isabella pushing her harshly to the side. Ignoring her plea's for caution... ignoring her plea's to stay. "It is the past now... but if she hadn't changed course I do not know what I could've done. Would've done. She, all of them, deserve good fortune as this war with Paladin escalates. They are good souls caught in bad circumstance, and deserve peace. I pra-"

As if lightning had just shot through her, her eyes shot open. The quizzical expression on her face betrayed confusion as she takes several slow, careful steps backwards. What am I doing? Bewilderment fills her eyes as she turns the star. "I ~ask~ that you shine on their paths ahead, to guide them through the void." Steady hands raise back to touch the glass, as if trying to reach through to the vacuum outside. "Selfishly... I could do with some starlight too. I ask for the strength to be there for them. To protect them. To heal them."

A minutes passes in eerie quiteness. "What the frik am I doing?!" Thal suddenly jolts back from the window, moving swiftly over towards the bin to retrieve her cig-packet. "It's a star Thallia. You're talking to a star. Get yourself together. You think your going to hack CSF combat training if you're talking to stars? Going to prance about with celestial light dancing on your sword as Spectre shows you how to swing such a thing?! No... you don't live in a movies. Stars." Her self-reprimanding torrent continues, muttered under her breath, as she pulls herself out of the room and down the access passage.
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