Searching for Answers #15: Disappointing
03 Jan 2021Patrick Bietruch
I don't know what to think anymore..I honestly do not know anymore what to feel. On one hand I feel anger and resentment towards my father but on the other hand.. He still is my father. And I don't know whether to hate him or love him.
2 days ago was another anniversary of the day I saw him for the last time. It was 21 years ago.. Time flies.
> dracut: Scanning devices sda2 for LVM logical volumes sysvg/root sysvg/swap
> dracut: inactive '/dev/sysvg/root' [28.88 GiB] inherit
> dracut: inactive '/dev/sysvg/swap' [1.00 GiB] inherit
>>> INITIALIZING PERSONAL DIGITAL ASSISTANT <<<
> Identifying user
> Current user: Christopher Bietruch
> Password: **********
> dracut: rd_NO_MD: removing MD RAID activation
> ata_piix 0000:00:01.1: version 2.13
> ata_piix 0000:00:01.1: setting latency timer to 64
> scsi0 : ata_piix
> scsi1 : ata_piix
> scsi 0:0:0:0: Direct-Access ATA QEMU HARDDISK 0.12 PQ: 0 ANSI: 5
> virtio-pci 0000:00:04.0: PCI INT A -> Link[LNKD] -> GSI 11 (level, high) -> IRQ 11
> Connection established
>>> ACCESS TO PERSONAL LOGS LIMITED <<<
>>> PERSONAL LOG NUMBER 00014 ACCESSED <<<
Personal journal
Entry #152
January 1 Year 3286
Ship designation: Cobra MkIII Class Vessel - ID: "OR-10N"
Galactic coordinates: -99.15625 / 14.1875 / 6.53125
System name: Andlit
Pathetic. Disappointing. That's who I am. How could I do this to them. I'm not a good husband nor a good father. I'm nobody..
They'll never forgive me. They'll never forgive me. They'll never forgive me.
And I'll never forgive myself..
> Connection lost
> Session end