Logbook entry

First Entry: The Story So Far

17 Oct 2021Lily Flemmon
Author's note: For those reading this who are not familiar with the Elite universe and lore or the game mechanics of Elite: Dangerous, I recommend looking up any terms you don't recognize in the Elite wiki: https://elite-dangerous.fandom.com/wiki/Elite_Dangerous_Wiki

I heard what’s going on in the Paresa system. Terrorist attack on a major starport, Dyson City, using caustic enzyme bombs that are still eating their way through the structures and hull of the city-sized space station. It’s hard to even look at pictures of the burning starport, with flames shooting out into the black of space… and the occasional body of someone who didn’t make it. But knowing hundreds of thousands of people were still on that failing structure, I wouldn’t be able to stomach seeing it with my own eyes. I’m a big shot pilot who can make 100 times the credits in an hour that an average citizen makes in a year, and yet I would give all that in a heartbeat if it meant rescuing those people. But it takes more than a heartbeat to run rescues like that. It takes resolve that few pilots have. Maybe one day I’ll be able to do that, but not today. Definitely not today.

When I was growing up, my family moved a lot. Always from starport to starport, moving with my dad Silas’s deployment in the Alliance military. One time, after my mom died, when it was just me and him left, he came home with pictures he took of the docking bay of an agricultural starport. It amazed me that so much green, so much life, could be in one place. He showed me one picture for half a second, and then took it away, shaking his head, saying “What am I thinking, soldier boy? This isn’t for you. You shouldn’t be worrying about this, you‘ll be able to buy all the food you could ever want. Doesn’t matter where you are, doesn’t matter where it comes from.” Soldier boy. He always called me that. And I never told him, I never let it show how much I hated it. Because I believed it. I believed I was Chase, pop’s soldier boy.

Three years ago I got my first Sidewinder. My dad gave it to me, saying I was “finally ready for a ship to learn with”. Brand new, shiny, and full of possibilities, but still just a Sidewinder, and piss weak in a fight. Or in trading. Or in going any kind of distance. He had been training me to fly in simulations, and he was finally just satisfied enough with my near-perfect record over the previous year in simulated dogfights. He never saw it coming when I boosted through the airlock, set my course to the farthest system the shiny piece of junk could reach, high-waked out, and never looked back.

Hah. Soldier boy. All the skills he taught me are still fresh. They always will be. But once I was outside that airlock, those skills weren’t his anymore. They were mine. I did jump after jump until I arrived at that farthest system. 21 Draco. Supercruised to the nearest starport, an Orbis one. I always liked living on those. But when I dropped on it, what I saw changed me forever. Or maybe I was always like this. Because I looked at that ring, and I saw green. So much green. I flew out to get a closer look, and it wasn’t even in pots, the ground itself was green, and things could grow anywhere. It was beautiful, and I was mesmerized. I’m glad my shields were on, because I had a close call with one of the spokes holding the ring!
I came to my senses and docked. It looked just like that picture I only saw for a second. As I went below to the hangar, I started to process just how free I finally was. I took a tram out to the ring to see the gardens up close, and once I got there, I saw a green field, I smelled the life around me, the people weren’t worried about war or death, they were happy, and I started feeling so many things I didn’t understand, I started to feel so wonderful and I was almost afraid at how unfamiliar it all was. Tears were streaming from my eyes, and I felt my knees wobble a bit…

I collapsed from the emotion, and ended up laying in the grass, feeling it tickling my face, ever so gently. A young woman, my age, ran up to me, and she asked if I was okay. I opened my mouth to speak but I just couldn’t, the words wouldn’t even form in my head. I just looked up at her and smiled, tears streaming down my face. She asked me my name, and I couldn’t even remember it. I rolled onto my back, and closed my eyes, barely aware of anything around me, filled with this unfamiliar, warm fuzzy feeling, and it felt.. Sleepy? I’m not sure, but I must have fallen asleep.

Next thing I remember, I woke up on a soft couch. The room I was in was green, with soft moss covering all the walls. There were flowers along the top of all the walls, of all different shapes and colors. I heard footsteps and turned to see the woman approaching me hurriedly. I heard her soft voice saying “hey! You’re awake again… Chase? Is that your name? I saw it on your hardsuit.” I winced as memories came back of my dad calling me Chase. Strong boy. Soldier boy. And it hurt. It hurt in a way no gunshot ever could. Deep, aching pain. My hardsuit usually would tell me where I’d been hit whenever there was pain this bad, but it didn’t this time. Words came to my lips. “Injury report.” My hardsuit responded, “No injuries detected.” I heard the woman’s voice again. “Well, my name is Ronni. And if that’s not your name, what is?” I looked up and my eyes locked on a row of white flowers near the ceiling. I pointed at them, and I heard her voice again, sounding confused, “That’s… That’s a lily. It’s a flower… You haven’t seen one before?”

And I finally could speak, I could finally form the words in my head, and I said the truest words I will ever say in my life.

“That… that’s me. I’m me. I’m… Lily.”

December Third, 3303. That was the day I started to become who I always was. I was never Chase the soldier boy, I was always Lily, lady of the garden, trapped among the stars.
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