Change of Pace
04 Sep 2022Lily Flemmon
3308-08-18So, and this has bugged me for a while, Professor Ishmael Palin is considered the "leading expert" on the Thargoids, and now he's caught straddling the moral crisis of xenocide? I'd expect the leading expert to be able to make up his mind at the very least. That being said... A claim like that probably isn't without some merit, so I need to visit the Palin Institute. No way I'm going to bother getting to Palin himself when I can probably get a better idea by talking to Cora Shaw. The one who didn't get directly targeted by Thargoids, and the woman who actually runs the Palin Institute. On my own, I probably wouldn't be able to reach her, but it's not like I can just leave Professor Stromlad behind.
But yesterday, there's a new development- some kind of deep space anomaly. Large. Visible. Audible on scanners. Unconfirmed reports identify Thargoid energy signatures. Things are happening fast now, especially in Thargoid terms. It's pretty clear now- we keep fighting them, we lose. Because even if we could wipe them out, we'd be so stuck in militarism that we'd wipe ourselves out next. Far from ideal, yeah?
Today, I'm finally back in the Bubble after my third time being away for a while. I remember the morning I woke up after the Proteus Wave went off- well, I actually woke up at about 1800, after sleeping for a solid 15 hours. It was Phoenix's idea. They told me it would be easier for me to process the aftermath after sleeping through it than to watch it happen in real-time, and they... were almost certainly right. The thing I remember was waking up and checking to see what happened... and when I saw that it was still just eyewitness reports several hours later, I knew something had gone horribly awry. But, being about 40,000 light-years away in the Vulcan's Gate region bumming around the SCG Froplex Explorer and helping aboard the Cuisinier serving food to Commanders looking for a long-lost gas giant, what bothered me most when I got up and going that day was how normal everything seemed. The primary topic of conversation had shifted of course, but it... wasn't dominating everyone's attention. The details may have been frightening, but they weren't particularly surprising.
As I was in the Pilot's Lounge, a particularly boisterous Aurora Bael came strutting in. It wasn't long before she asked me if there had been a Thargoid sighting or something- and that's when I realized she hadn't heard. It was... oddly not that big of a shock to her. She'd been a bit lost lately as far as mental health goes, but she's still recovering. If she had problems that were bigger to her than the biggest Thargoid event in history, well... I wouldn't be surprised.
There's one interaction I want to highlight. We were sitting on the steps in the cockpit of her Cheiftain, the Paimon, and I was reminiscing about how I killed Silas. In hindsight, it was not the best choice of topics.
----
"... So yeah, that's when he realized his own daughter was holding him at gunpoint. Well, he probably thought of me as his own lost son-"
Rory's voice was suddenly stern as she interrupted suddenly. "Lily, stop."
"W-what?"
"Why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I- wha-"
"You don't have to imagine what that asshole thought of you. His head's a crystalline paste now, for fuck's sake. Why are you punishing yourself like this? You don't deserve it. Any of it. Not one bit."
I couldn't- I couldn't find any words. I just leaned on the shoulder of her flight suit, and she gently put an arm around me. "I'm sorr-"
"Shhhhh. It's okay. You don't have to be sorry. You're safe here."
----
Rory, I know you read these. Thank you... For everything.
----
ADDENDUM: 3308-09-04
There's a stellar phenomenon headed directly for the Bubble at something like 5000-6000c and it's giving off vaguely Thargoid readings. And I've accepted that I do not have time to visit NLAU and formally accept my degree, or prepare a speech, or visit the Palin Institute, or... be a scholar or an advocate at all. There's only time for me to be a Commander.
It's not easy to come to terms with. But I have to start... and I have a lead. Sara Avery, pilot for Brewer Corporation. You know, the one who's stationed at Chilton Terminal.
I haven't spoken to her in a while, but when news came that Jordanna Frost was, in fact, still alive, she bleached her hair almost immediately. Put a little pink on the tips of her curls, too. It looks a little funky, but not in a bad way.
Robert Dimitri, the original head chef of the Cuisinier, didn't join the dining ship on the Eldritch Gate expedition- which was lucrative, by the way. I'm sorry he missed out, but he had a lot of trauma to cope with after the attack on the Solaris. It sounds like he's been busy aboard another carrier the past couple months, and I've heard chatter about "Void Kin" shipments being assembled and periodically sent off, and it seems to line up. By the name, and the fact that the shipments are going in the direction of Thargoid space, it sounds like it's a good starting point for doing what I can to hold back this fucked-up human society's miltaristic tendencies.
So it's time to find Sara... and Robert, and the people he's probably learned to call home.
Yeah... here I go.