Personal Log 12.15.021
16 Dec 2021Lavodes
I was in Sol, running missions for the Feds. You know, working towards the privilege of spending every credit I've ever made on a Corvette.My Chieftain was performing admirably against the various pirate factions, and the crew had never run as smoothly. Maybe it was the extra credits to spend in the cantina back at Li Qing Jao, or maybe just being back in Sol, but I'd never seen them as happy and willing to put their butts on the line as they have been these last few weeks. We were doing well, and making a tidy sum mopping up riffraff; I should have been content, happy even?
But yesterday, when I rolled out of my bunk and hit the sonic shower, I realized I hated what I was doing. Ever since I caught my first glimpse of the galaxy from my pilot's chair in that Sidewinder, The Black has tugged at me, pulling me out, away from the bustle of the stations and petty squabbles of the powers that be. And I felt it, more so than ever before, as I strapped into my suit for another day of hunting down petty crooks.
I just couldn't do it.
I headed to the faction mission offices and handed in the bounties we'd taken the day before and let the Fed reps know we wouldn't be going out again. They looked more sour than usual, but let's face it, there's always some hothead willing to do their dirty work. They won't miss my guns for long.
I paid the crew double for the month, enough to get them into their own ships if that's what they want. I'll miss the camaraderie, the bad jokes, and hearing my engineer cursing up a storm trying to get the AFMU to repair damaged modules faster (it never worked), but I can't ask them to come with me.
I made the trip back to Northrop Ring alone, tying up some loose ends along the way, and when I docked, I started the long process of stripping the engineered modules out of my ships, packing them into storage, and reluctantly selling off the ships. I thought long and hard about leaving them docked, waiting, but I honestly don't know if I'll ever be back to get them. The DBX, my first real ship, was the hardest to let go of; it was the first ship I took out to the edge of the bubble, the first ship I engineered, and the one I loved the best. Some of my best memories are tied to that ship, but it wouldn't, couldn't do what I needed it to this time.
I could have spent a few more days preparing, gathering some more materials, gone to visit a few engineers to really fine-tune my Anaconda for this trip, but I honestly couldn't be bothered. When the shipyard transferred the credits for my last ship, I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders, and a wanderlust I couldn't contain anymore.
So I didn't try. I launched from Northrop Ring for what may well be the last time, set a course, and jumped.
I keep telling myself that I'm heading to Colonia, and I'm sure I'll eventually get there, but to be honest, I'm in no real hurry.
I'll take the scenic route.