Logbook entry

Slave S47

04 Aug 2016Howard, o Pato
Downtrodden


I woke up at the first sounding of the alarm, but only got up when I heard the second ring. l've been really tired lately. I pray that I have not contracted this flu that everyone is talking about. The metal surface of the edge of the bed is very cold. I took some time there, resting my elbows on my knee, trying to accustom my vision to darkness. Through the window I could see the lights of the upper city, faint and rare, each one.
 
At the third alarm the doors bursted open and I went out for the count. The queue followed the numerical sequence of each room. The entire structure of the monstrous town was built on the edge of a volcano to enjoy the heat. Dorm industry doors led into a metal walkway on the inner edge. The dim light does not let see the depth of the abyss. A volcano of activity controlled by machines, moving the gas, energy, and supplies throughout the city. Someone shouts a command and people start walking.



"Do not look down. I never look. It gives me vertigo. It could be a very steep fall. Yesterday I dropped my mug, but did not hear noise from reaching the bottom." said Minet. She was a girl full of manias and always pulled conversation with someone. Chatterbox. Dreamer.
 
"I've got used to it." I shrugged as we walked into the shower room. The water was cold to the point of hurting. That's a good thing- it makes me wake up. Water was very expensive here, was laborious treat it, and it was always reused. Those outside the walls out in the slums, they would have to come here to pick up if they had credits for it. The hall is long to accommodate all and the water use is timed. I do not complain, the bath is a luxury that many don’t have. I walked through the wind tunnel for drying the bodies.

Ice cold.

In the old days it would have bothered me a lot and I'd be cowering and trembling. Now, I take my time to dry my long hair well. I should have cut the hinder hair a long time ago, but the hairs are soft, silky, and I've got a good price for them. The quartermaster is coming next month.
 
Minet continued to talk and tell jokes, drawing a few smiles here and there, while we wear our uniforms numbered. Our work clothes are unisex, padded to withstand the cold along with our insulated boots, gloves and helmet. red lights start flashing indicating that the gates will open, preparing everyone for the blast of the morning snowfall on their way to the trucks. Minet nestled in my arm, trying to get warm. She always had cold hands. I should have refused from the first time, now it’s no use denying the comfort.
 
A different kind of truck was parked for us. A long snow cutter they called the biarticulado here. The huge gates were opened and the blizzard whistled its way into the shed. The floor was covered by melted snow at the entrance. A mixture of methane and ammonia water. I put down my mask and headed to the biarticulado. With a jolt the truck moved forward as some stragglers still ran to climb aboard while others settled. It was a quick vehicle for the hostile climate conditions. The sky was covered by thick revolving clouds. The rain was expected to end at five-thirty, to not disrupt transport. Transport started and the rain stopped with the mechanical precision of the climate control. It wasn’t a very advanced set of equipment, but it was enough to keep the local routine. It covered an area of only forty thousand square kilometers adequately.
 
"Weather is calm, so where are the stars?" She asked me with those curious eyes.
 
"The sun is a star Minet, and we can see it through the clouds in the summer in two years." I had no patience for her silly questions.
 
"You know, I mean..." she was insistent with her libertine ideas, "We know how are the stars because we hear stories from our parents. You have no curiosity to see with your own eyes?"

She Stared at me waiting for my answer. I would not go out unharmed in this conversation.

"Heaven is just that, moons stars. Why go there?" I did not want to give more reasons for her to continue. "I am happy here."
 
"You want nothing but to eat, sleep and die? Nothing but work for five credits per day..." She was not satisfied. She pressed and shook my arm asking for a different answer.
 
"We have a decent job and a bed to sleep! Less than 2% of the population have a chance to have a job or food at the end of the day" She looked at me incredulously as I spoke. "Outside there is only misery and death. We are survivors, Minet. I, you and everyone here. Be proud of what you have."



With a sudden a lurch, the truck shifted and stopped. Everyone was thrown forward, holding on where they could. I tried to hold Minet. We fell to the floor, she on me.
 
"Rebels!" I heard someone shout near the entrance.
 
Confused and whispering, Minet clung to my arm strong. From the front  of the biarticulado came a man, under the hood, with a long face, eyes clear as snow, and blond hair to his shoulder, shouting "Freedom! freedom for all!" He was offering the opportunity to be part of something bigger. "Fighting for a cause," people like him said. Raising his arms in a welcoming gesture. Filling the hearts of the weak with useless hope.
 
"It is our chance to see the world. Go beyond the climate border."
 
"What?"
 
"Let's run away. Let’s go with them. There is so much I want to know..." She raised her head, and for a moment, his eyes twinkled.
 
"No!" I jumped, I put myself standing. "You're not going anywhere. It's insane."


"I will go with them and you will come with me. This is all wrong, this place, this life. Madness is here to stay..."

She wanted to fix everything. I believed I could return things to their proper place. There is nothing to be fixed. This is how the world works. And no one can ever change anything. We can never be happy if we do not accept that we are what we are.
 
"I will not let you go. There's nothing out there. There is nothing to see."
 
"You do not want to get out of here? You do not want to be free?" She had a look of desperation.
 
"You'll get hurt. The outside world is very cruel." I looked her in the eyes. I have to put some reason into her head. "I'd rather stay here for life than to let them hurt you."
 
"Come with me please. We will be happy together." Minet cried grabbed my hand, trying to drag me.

But I would not move.
 
The climate of this world is too brutal, and there is no way to live long beyond the climate border. The rebels come and go all the time. They scream freedom, but live to loot the food trains uptown. Like us, they are dependent on this industrial conglomerate. The food comes from trade between space stations and they provide us. If this planet was not rich in meta-league, there would be nothing here but ice. Without this system there would be no life at all.
 
Those who live on the margins of society are only tolerated by the system. When a worker dies, another arises to cover their place here. No one lets their hands go stagnant  when there is employment. We are blessed to have water, food and a decent job.
 
"No." I had to put an end to this discussion. "And you will not go with them. We need to be here where it is safe to live."

A wave of fury filled the tearful eyes of Minet. She could not accept the idea that kept her from helping me... I was trying to protect her.
 
"Hell, I'll leave."
 
"I will not."
 
"No, you do not own me and can not deny me the freedom..." She said with the hand pointing out.
 
"You're very feisty Minet!" I felt I had lost this dispute. I could not deny this truth.
 
"I'm a survivor."

She looked me in the eye.

I lowered my head.
 
"Let me help you. Come with me." She said in the silence. She had kind, warm eyes. She was a good person. I wanted her as my lover.
 
"What will be this place without you ..."
 
"No, no, you can not stay here."
 
"Yes I can! I must stay." I hardly had strength to  say it, but still I did. “And you must go…”
 
"No, not that ..." I felt fear in her trembling hands. She knew what I meant.
 
All were ready to go, and cars rebels began to move. Half a dozen of the newest and hopeful would go with them. "We have to go!" Someone shouted urgently. I held out my hand to touch her as she jumped out of the truck. I couldn’t reach. She was helped by the rebels to rise into a vehicle that began it’s slow roll.
 
I saw she in the car, still screaming for me to be with her. An anguish gripped my chest. The horrible sense of loss filled me. I realized that I was losing a feeling I never had. A cold steam came out of my mouth as I breathed out the cold air. I wanted to run to her, but all this feeling was too new for me and I did not understand.
 
I missed something that I have not lived. I wanted to take back something I never had.
 
Tears flowed from my eyes when the skimmers passed us at full speed toward the rebels vehicles, stretching toward the horizon.


***


I woke up at the first sound of the alarm, but only get up when I heard the second ring...




( It is a spin-off that does not take into account the events of the main characters of Galnetundeword arc.)
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