The Living and the Damned - Part II
13 Nov 2017Jellicoe
Their visit to Mhera's parents was every bit as heart rending as they had feared. Her mother answered the door, black rimmed red eyes shining with the desperate, impossible hope that somehow, against all reason her daughter had returned then the light in them dying as she saw Kira and Jellicoe and brutal reality reasserted itself."Please sit down." Saiti Bathana said showing them into the sitting room. "It's good to see you again Kira, and you Mr Jellicoe. I'll just go and get Abraham, he'll want to see you."
"How is he?" Asked Kira.
"He's in a bad way." Saiti said resignedly. "He spends hours in his study. He says he's working but he just stands staring out of the window at the garden. It's where she used to play when she was little you see, and he used to watch her from his window." Saiti's voice broke up and she left the room to bring her husband. Jellicoe looked at Kira, her usually mischievous face riven with pity at what her friends were going through and fear over where it might end. Saiti returned with Abraham, his face haggard and drawn from worry and lack of sleep, his eyes sunken and filled with unshed tears.
"Are you going to find my daughter Mr Jellicoe?" He asked.
"I'm going to try sir." Jellicoe replied as gently as he could. "But I can't make any promises, and I should warn you to try to be ready for the worst."
"I understand." Saiti replied, her eyes misting over. "At least then we would know, at least we'd be able to grieve."
They talked, Jellicoe asked and Mhera's parents answered. As much detail as possible he had wanted, and he got it, the simple act of talking about their daughter seeming to bring a brief respite from the constant pain of her loss and the words tumbled out of both of them. The picture emerged of a loving, attentive daughter, kind and thoughtful but desperately innocent of the world beyond the cloistered halls of academia, a brilliant scientist but ignorant of the ways of men. When all the words were said and all questions answered Abraham asked Jellicoe to walk with him in the couples now rather neglected garden, they walked in silence for a while, Abraham looking about him, like an old man seeing the ghosts of the past at every turn.
"You think she's dead." Mr Bathana said, it was a statement not a question.
"I have to keep an open mind to all possibilities." Jellicoe replied.
"But you think it the most probable explanation."
"It..." Jellicoe began till he saw the look in Abraham's eyes. "Yes it seems most probable."
Abraham closed his eyes and kneaded his temples. "Thank you." He said simply. "For the first time in all this someone has been honest with me." He was silent for a few moments before speaking again. !"The fear you expect, it's the hope that destroys you. You wake up each morning hoping today they'll find her, you go to bed each night hoping when you wake there'll be a message that she's alive and well somewhere. The longer it goes on of course the more that hope slowly drains away but it never quite dies, there's always that last little spark left to torture you every time a call comes through or the door goes. Will you promise me something Mr Jellicoe?"
"Name it."
"I think I can just about manage if she is dead, but if she suffered first I do not believe I could cope with that and I am certain her mother could not, if that is what happened I beg you not to tell us, make up some story that it was quick and painless, at least give us that small mercy."
"You have my word." Jellicoe replied.
Their visit to Camille Drake was much easier, the girl was worried of course and frightened over what may have befallen her friend but the optimism of youth is hard to dent and she was convinced Mhera would turn up alright sooner or later. She answered their questions and handed over all communications she had received during Mhera's travels. Jellicoe and Kira did not speak on their journey back to the spaceport, Kira had been badly affected by the visit to the Bathana's and even Jellicoe had been shocked at how his feelings, long supressed had sparked back into life. This was becoming very personal for both of them.