Adventures In Bounty Hunting
28 Aug 2015SepticLimey
Another day, another insurance claim. I tried to take on three Anacondas in a Vulture. It was that SSS trap where you drop out of SC to find a couple of canisters of gold floating there before three 'Condas appear and then turn your nice airtight cockpit into a convertible. I usually just turn and burn, spewing chaff like a flatulent Tinkerbell, until I've put enough distance between us for the damn SuperCruise to kick in. But last night I was feeling cocky and thought I could handle it. I got two of the bastards before the third one got through my shields, toasted my thrusters, popped my canopy and then....boom. "Crap Nuggets."
Ah well, what's two million credits between friends? Yes, the old load-out, dammit.
The reason I was even attempting something so foolish was because I'm trying to get my combat rank up. And the way you do that? Kill, kill and -what was the third one? Oh yeah- KILL. I found a nice little HIRES near a station where I could grind away, taking down the local buccaneers one ship at a time when I clumsily shot at a pirate before my scanner had told me he was a pirate.
We've all been there. You're happily blasting away; popping every Sidey, Eagle and Adder with a black and red paint job. When you suddenly turn to find yourself nose-to-nose with yet another Sidewinder with a suicidal level of overconfidence, threatening you with some b-movie dialogue.
"Your cargo is mine. Fact."
"What are you hauling?"
"I don't want to be poor, you don't want to die...Muwhahahahahaha!"
In my head I hear Edward G. Robinson saying these lines: "Nyah, you done gone got yourself in trouble now, see? Suppose I shoot ya with my lasers, see?"
He's in a basic Sidewinder and you're in a pimped out Vulture with unshakeable shields and twin cannons of white-hot hubris. This guy must be high, god bless him. You sigh and pull the trigger and immediately groan inwardly as that notification pops up and cheerfully informs you that there's a 200Cr bounty now hanging round your neck like some dead, space albatross.
200Cr Bounty. Big deal, right? You wouldn't have thought so. I mean, the genius in the Sidewinder has a bounty of about 5000Cr and there are lots of other pirates out here with bigger bounties. But of course the entire law enforcement contingent suddenly swing around, ignoring the mass of outlaws worrying the local mining syndicate, and train their sights on you like you're suddenly Public Enemy Number One. Yeah, that's me, Bin Laden. Al frakking Capone. So I hightail it out of the HIRES and decide to go cruising around the system, checking in on USS or interdicting any wanted ships I come across while waiting the 15 minutes or so before I can dock and pay that massive 200Cr bounty off.
Here's where we came in. Me, my Vulture and three pissed off Anacondas. Well, lesson learned. Next time, I'm jumping out and heading to a new system until my trigger-finger tourettes drops me in the biowaste again.