Logbook entry

Who i was

01 Oct 2021[novus]



*Recording Started*

Is it on?.. yep its on.
So after some thinking, i decided i should start recording logs of myself…..
Sigh….
I guess i should start by talking about my past… about who i am.
Most people know me as Commander Novus, or Lance, i uh… ‘’recently’’ joined a squadron, Titan Contractors. Im currently an Anti Xeno pilot, not only defending systems under attack, but also actively hunting thargoids.
But ill start from the begining….
My memory is a bit hazy, but i wouldnt say i had parents, or at least, they certainly didnt act like ones. They pretty much waited for me to grow up and…. they… they [@#%#] sold me, like a damn object, guess they were only waiting for me to be no longer a child so they could fetch a good price.

So yeah, i was now a slave, i guess

It wasn't AS bad as people usually put it, well, most of the time, the first years… roughest damn years of my life….. its not the physical abuse, or even mental abuse that gets to you, its just being alone, or rather, the thought you wont ever see something else than illegal markets and the likes. And also, your ‘’fellow" humans.
They were not…. Mean or cruel in purpose, i actually think they were kinda nice? Its more a situation where everyone simply cannot afford to care about others, or even turning your back on someone. Buyin' friends was an easy way to get some peace of mind, or an extra hand to.. hum.. ‘’borrow’’ something.

After a few years of getting transfered from owner to owner, someone… special, bought me… god when i put it like that it really feels awfull… anyway, he never told me his name, just to call him ‘’boss''. Okay, i guess, got way weirder in my years. But that guy, you see, he was imperial. He didn’t just magically treat me as one of them, i was still legaly not even existing, but for the first time ever, i felt great, i felt respected, i felt like i actually mattered and i wasn't just a number one a piece of paper. He even got me my own room, it was just a small closet with a desk and a bed, but it was.. the first thing that i could consider MINE.

Apparently he was the boss of a big pirate gang, i got to meet most of them, introduced me as one of theirs and all that.
I didn't really have a choice…. He didn't force me or anything, he even asked me, but i guess a couple years in slavery removes the word ‘’no'' from your vocabulary, so i agreed.

At first, i wasnt really allowed out of my rooms, at least when he wasnt there. But he would always have someone to check up on me, i had nothing to do so i was mostly laying in bed all day…. Every ime he would come back in the late afternoon, and he'd come see me.
I was just waiting for things to change, they always did.

He started trusting me more, and the more time passed, the more i would get free, and i became good friends with a lot of members from the clan, or at least the ones that weren’t out raiding.

I never asked for anything, i had way more than i ever had already, but after a year, we were prety close, and he invited me to join him for a day… in his ship.
It was a black Imperial clipper, absolutely stunning ship. We both sat in the cockpit and told me i was gonna join him in a daily ‘’hunt''.

It was amazing.

My first time seeing space, at least, seeing it from a window. Rest of the day was just as he would usually describe them. We interdicted a couple of traders, stole some cargo, the usual.

I guess its not so hazy after all…

We kinda talked when we were waiting, and he eventually told me he wanted to train me to pilot a ship with him… since the start. Even helped me get a license! For the first few months, id mostly be with him, in his clipper. He'd sometime hand me the controls to fly around a bit, even docked and undocked a few times. One morning, Boss woke me up waaaaay earlier than usual, told me he had something for me, that i finaly deserved it…

he had purchased a brand new, imperial eagle.


He then further put me in a state of shock by telling me it was mine. That we would start helping eachothers like a true team, dont get me wrong, he already had some friends to fly with, but he wanted me to become better and better.
There was a catch however, id have no profit share until i had paid the ship in full, including repair, fuel, and ammo.

I named it Spike.

We got right to pillaging the next day, and it went pretty well, we got a few tonnes of cargo, and i got a few shots in… and it went like that for a long time, sometime we would get shot back at, and i would always quickly get away from the fight, sometime id try to fight but the Spike had so little meat on it i could barely take a single hit, let alone do anything significant with my two pulse lasers.
I eventually spent enough time huntin' with Boss that he said i had paid back my ship and that it was now truly mine, and that i should probably make it look the part.

I just hastily painted the name on top with a spraycan, drew a funny looking figure next to the name, and we closed the hangars for the day.

We kept doing that for… i dont know… a few months?

I actually felt free for once, i could live like i wanted, buy what i wanted, i even had my own ship that could take me anywhere.
I was starting to get very good at pirating and fighting too, i got enough money for a pair of railguns on the spike, and a better, stronger shield. I started being more of a use and less of a liability in battle.

Me and Boss had a pretty strict rule of not firing first, and not intentionally killing people, but, sometime you get those that fight back.
People usually ask how people can be so, cold about the life of others, the thing is, you can’t. You can’t, because the only way is to not even think about it, focus on the job, on the money... or the freedom in my case....

The more i fought, the better i got, and the more things i could get onto the Spike, including a very nice paintjob. It was just a lot of random colours mismatched together, but it was pretty in its own way.

And of course, with better skills and ship upgrades, came bigger and better targets.
We started going big, attacking convoys, hitting up ressource extraction sites. And we were making bank, everyone was.
Me and Boss got more and more greedy… and… im sure we both knew it would come to that at once…
we....

I have to take a momment.. just.. give me a second..

It was.. the biggest damn job of our life.

We had to interdict an entire convoy, disable the ship, and wait until 2 cargo haulers joined us to siphon their holds dry. Easy enough we thought.
Fast forward after the interdiction and were both under fire immediatly, well... Boss was…
Millitary convoy
Specifically, only, millitary vessels, no cargo haulers in sight.
I gripped my controls as hard as i could and headed into the heart of the fight, focussing on the smaller, softer targets, usually going slow and stop once they broke off from the clipper.
I guess it wasn't enough, because Boss told me to retreat, so i did, quickly…

…….
…………
I heard an explosion behind me…. and the comms got cut short….
I..
I turned around and just...... screamed… the clipper was gone… most of the enemy formation was just.. leaving… a few even destroyed boss' escape pod….
I remember boosting back, its hard to remember, i know i started to fight them, even if i was outnumbered and outclassed, i fought, until the spike was barely holding straight.... the alarms were ringing, the canopy had cracks everywhere.... i came back to my senses and ran away again… i know i killed some.. i just dont remember how many…. thankfully the Spike was the fastest on the battlefield... only reason i survived my... little episode...

Once i got back home, it was gone, well, still there, but the system authority got there before me…
So i left, the controls were sloppy, the canopy was barely intact, somehow still able to travel… i think i just did nothing for a while…. I didnt get caught, somehow…

But i guess i did just now, because well, im recording this...

I eventually got back to Achenar, and just did small jobs, just enough to maintain the Spike… and myself

Thinking about it…. I think its still somewhere… over there....

It felt great to be back ''home'', eventually i just.. forgot about it i guess. Me and Boss both knew it was coming.
I got to know a lot of people, usually on the…. Bad side of the law, old habits die hard i guess, but i stopped pirating , only did salvage work and some courier jobs....

Well, i gotta get back on patrol soon, so ill just end it at that... thanks for listening.

Dammit! Its so hard with gloves o-

*Recording stopped*
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