Deal or No Deal
27 Jul 2016Kyndi the Badass Space Chick
Oh, you are just cute!Trying to pay me only half the delivery amount at the last minute? Bold.
Having a couple goons standing on either side to strong-arm me into agreeing? Love it.
Veiled threats against my body if I don't comply? You flirt!
Here's the thing, sweetheart: you've got it all backwards. It's supposed to be boys who like simplicity, and girls who complicate things with our crazy girl brains.
But that's not what's happening, is it?
I agreed to this job for a set amount of money. Thirty-five grand, with another five if I'm early. Well, here I am: early, with a hold full of the merchandise. All I wanted was my forty thou, and the o-head would have been all yours.
See? Simple.
Everything was fine until you silly boys got together and decided to sweeten the deal. Nothing I can do about it, right? After all, I'm just a little smuggler chick with purple hair. Certainly no match for you and these two brutes. Easy to intimidate, easy to shake down, and easy to keep quiet.
That was the plan, right? It was, wasn't it?
What's this? Honesty? How refreshing. I run into so little of it in my line of work.
Well, allow me to reciprocate:
Do you know why I chose this place to deal? Because one nightclub's as good as the other, you say? For some things, yes. But for dealing with a snake like you? Please. A girl's got to take precautions! What precautions? Good question. Glad you asked.
Well, for starters, I'm afraid that you're in my house. Well, not mine, technically. Dan and Monty own the place, of course- but we're like family. The kind of family that sells drugs to each other. The kind that operates the largest men-only nightclub on Novitski. And the kind who have a big, mean plasma shotgun under the bar.
Didn't know that, did you?
And yes, it really is all men in here. Go ahead, take a look around. I'll wait. Why does nobody ever notice the first time?
Big men, little men, men who are off-duty from their security shifts. All kinds of men around us. And here I am, the only woman in the place.
So if I scream, you can bet your cheaply-suited asses that it'll be heard. And all those men will look this way. At you. And they'll descend upon you and your two friends like hairy Greek gods. You could say that it'll be raining men.
Sorry. That joke never gets old.
But I digress. Ball's in your court, boys. And if you don't pay me every fucking credit that I'm owed, a few of these guys really will put their balls in your court. Maybe more than a few.
What? Fifty? For little old me? Oh, you really shouldn't, but who am I to refuse a bonus?
See? Nice and simple. Just like it should have been. I'll understand if you don't stay for a drink.
Pleasure doing business with you, boys.
