Elixnie's Log | Loss - April 15th, 3308
15 Apr 2022Elixnie Alysyn
Life is continuously cruel[LOG_4.15.08-03.44HRR]
Elixnie's Log, 15th of April 3308. Alot has happened since I last wrote so I'm going to try and fit it all into this entry. Everything I've managed to form any meaningful connection with is gone one way or another. I've stopped eating really and anytime I'm able to fall asleep I'm always back in that room and It just replays over and over and over and over in my head. What could I have done differently. I can't stand this anymore. Leo and I kept seeing eachother since August staying at Hauser's. We took time off work to just enjoy eachother's company, did everything there was to do on Hauser's and when we ran out we went off exploring - sightseeing. I was happy. I even quit smoking. Occasionally I'd bounce between his apartment, Copernicus and stations all over the Bubble. Eventually we got back to work because, to be honest, we both are the busy type. And we worked the same job so that's a plus. We managed to take down a Medusa class Thargoid Interceptor with the help of a commander in an Imperial Cutter with enough shield strength to power a whole station. To celebrate, he took me to a luxury station near Sol and had I the best food I think I've ever tasted. It was honestly embarrassing, not really my type of thing I guess. But I was happy because I was with him - and any excuse to wear my nice dress out too. Around late October Yeet told us he was going out to the Galactic core to do some research and we wished him safe travels. Those few months were the happiest I think I've ever been. For the first time in my life I let my guard down, I felt safe - I was wrong.
3 days before Christmas, Leo and I were out heading to the California Nebula in the Athena to this ramen shop I heard about from a friend, not exactly a short trip but I was craving. Among other things we were also staying the few days through Christmas. We had a constant blip that seemed to follow us for a few jumps, I didn't think anything of it. Halfway through we were interdicted and yanked from supercruise right after dropping at a brown dwarf. A Federal Corvette stared us down through the canopy. The name Black Knight caught the light of the star. I thought it was just a cop but I knew something was up when he had his transponder off. As soon as the realization hit myself and Leo, The Black Knight opened up giving us no time to react. Leo leaped into action and deployed the underslung class 4 multicannon. He shouted for me to take over the missile racks and I opened up, but It was too late. Our shields, despite being a very capable warship, dropped to nearly zero within 20 seconds. Leo and I masked up as the threat of a depressurization increased if our shields cracked. The Corvette's shields were much stronger than they appeared and, although we had specialized incendiary missiles and cannon rounds loaded, I couldn't get a solid lock. I deployed chaff and Leo took evasive maneuvers - no good, the Corvette's munition tracked like normal, I tried the ECM jammer, nothing. Our shields go down and we start taking hull damage but It's holding for now. We didn't have any idea of the status of the Corvette as we couldn't get a solid track to scan the ship. I switched to the heavy Torpedo launcher because it's guided by a thermal seeker and is unaffected by any sort of radar or sensor jam. I launched, and It was shot down by the Corvette's Point Defense Cannons. The Black Knight pressed on. I shouted to Leo to try the Railgun but since we couldn't track the ship, firing was very hard without CCIP. I even dumped a heatsink to try and draw his fire, nothing. At this point I was worried and so was Leo. I had seen that man with nearly every emotion on his face, never fear. I shouted that we should run, that we needed to get away from this monster. Leo decided to charge the FSD, and almost immediately we get a missile warning. The Corvette had targeted our drive with a missile rack. We got hit, and the ship lost power - tumbling through the black. Leo and I knew, we had to eject. We unbuckled from our chairs and I grabbed his hand as we ran out of the Command deck towards the escape pods. We only got half way. Something really big hit right above us, It was the loudest thing I've ever heard. And just like that I felt my grip slip. I heard him scream, and when I looked back - he was gone. What replaced the hall behind us seconds before was but stars and blackness. He was pulled from my grasp from the rapid decompression as the Athena was cut in half from the attack. The bulkhead right behind me sealed as soon as the decompression happened which saved my life. I heard him scream and scream over the commlink, and I screamed and screamed. I collapsed at the bulkhead door and started wailing - crying harder than I've ever cried, screaming his name. Then I heard my name over the commlink "Elix I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I love you so much" and the line went dead. He was gone. I just laid there waiting for the end, but it never came. The Corvette jumped away, and left me for dead in the black with no drive power. I laid there in tears for what felt like a lifetime and eventually I passed out from stress and panic. I awoke an hour later, cleaned myself up and sat with my back against the bulkhead for the rest of the day, sobbing. The piece of ship that I was trapped on had a pair of backup batteries and the life support generator, most of all this part of the ship was still pressurized. Along with that, there was a common room on this end with a couch and kitchen area. Kitchen meant food. He always kept the ship stocked with shelf stable meals and instant noodles. recycled water and flavor powders, so I wasn't completely fucked. Somewhere immediately after the attack I seriously contemplated venting the bulkhead and killing myself. I couldn't go on - and I was ready to end it, but I couldn't.
I was trapped on the aft end of the bisected Athena for 3 months and 1 day. I spent most of the first few weeks patching pressure leaks in the walls and bulkhead. I went into the freezer unit one night and found a frozen bag of meat nuggets shaped in the form of prehistoric creatures called dinosaurs from ancient Earth. I cried over those nuggets all night. I was ready to give up. I didn't have a plan, no way to communicate with anyone at any sort of distance. I was just holding out until someone would find me. After the first month the backup batteries died and I lost life support, I lasted alittle longer with the standing air but eventually I had to switch to suit air. And when my suit air got low I replenished it with the emergency oxygen tanks in common room. Over time with life support being down the room was losing pressure because of cracks in the bulkheads. Eventually I could only survive in my suit, I could replenish my air supply but I couldn't eat or drink. I couldn't take it, eventually I decided that my best chance of survival was to get in an escape pod and fall under cryosleep. It would prolong my life so long as the escape pod held. Without ship power I couldn't jettison the pod, but the pods onboard power would keep me afloat for a time. I knew that when I activated the pod there was a pretty good chance I wouldn't be found, and I was okay with that in a passive sort of way, It's hard to explain. I activated the pod - and drifted off. I dreamt of a ramen lunch date with him. It was perfect. I would sleep in that pod for nearly 2 months.
I woke up on the first of April, 3308. The door opened and I was greeted by a man around my age in a Maverick suit, the insignia of the Hull Seals printed on the shoulder pad. He asked my name and I told him. I asked his and he replied "My name is DJ, I'm with search and rescue." with a smile, "You're safe now." He helped me out of the pod and I collapsed. He caught me and we both fell to the floor. He asked how long I had been in the pod. I asked what day it was and when he told me, I replied that I had been sleeping for 2 months. He tried to take off my helmet and I panicked, only to realize he wasn't wearing one. Turns out he had pressurized the room before boarding. I took off my helmet and he began to take my vitals. I asked how he found me and he told me the escape pods have a transponder that activates when the pod does. I thought this was only the case if the pod is jettisoned. He told me that when he jumped in system, he received a destress call from my pod and came to get me. I thanked him and then It all came flooding back. memories of what happened, the attack, Leo. I started to cry, and he asked me if there was anyone else on board. I told him that I'm the only one. I felt really awful and asked if he had any water, I don't really remember the next part but apparently I passed out again when he went to go get some. I awoke a few hours later in bed hooked up to a IV feeding me fluids. I wasn't my suit anymore and was wearing a tank top and gym pants. I looked over and saw DJ working on a terminal, his back facing me. He noticed my groans and turned to face me. I asked where I was and he told me we were aboard his Krait Phantom that he used for search and rescue - the Eden. He explained that we're on our way to a nearby station. It dawned on me that I was starving and I asked if he had anything to eat. He went and fixed a meal and I laid back in bed. Thoughts and memories flooding in. I tried to hold back the tears but it was no use. When he returned he made me a soup with meat and noodles close to Miso but not quite. A flavored drink and a candy bar. I thanked him profusely and after I finished he asked what happened. It took awhile but through tears I explained the ambush, The ship and it's name. And Leo - I just cried and cried. After ruining his very soft sheets with my tears I asked to use his shower and he showed me the way. After I finished he explained that we would be arriving in about and hour. I borrowed one of his overshirts and got dressed. By the time I finished drying my hair we had arrived. At the pad, I thanked him again and begged him to let me pay, he refused and said "It's the job." We exchanged goodbyes and I took the elevator to the concourse. I got some food to go and booked a ticket to back to Hauser's Reach. I slept for most of the trip. When I arrived I went back to the apartment and when I walked in the receptionist for the apartment complex looked like she saw a ghost. "Dude, we thought you were dead. Did Leo go back to his place?" I didn't answer and took the elevator to my floor. I walked in and crumbled onto my bed, sobbing. It just looked like any other day, his hoodie hanging off the side of the bed and his laptop sitting on the coffee table. It hurt so much.
I haven't left the apartment since I got back, I stopped eating and every time I close my eyes I hear that sound of the Athena being blown apart, It hurts so bad. How am I suppose to go on. I spend most of my time in bed and sleeping when I can. I keep having the same nightmare nearly every night of his scream and the black and I'm powerless to stop it. Maybe it's all a bad dream that I haven't woken up from yet.