Alcor Chatter
12 Mar 2022CommanderHobo87
With the Brewer Corporation sponsoring a bridge project to Colonia, I ended up making quite a few trips to their home system of Alcor. They offered great money and various bonuses as well for independent pilots to assist in the project, so why wouldn't I partake in this endeavor?During some of the stops at the MacDonald Settlement starport, I would usually keep my radio active and listen to the chatter between the controllers and the horde of ships coming and going while plotting my next route or just taking a break. Every now and then this one controller would work the frequency who had a rather casual way of communicating with ships. Quite the amusing fellow, if I'm honest.
I've heard old audio recordings of an air traffic controller back on Earth who centuries ago became famous for his similarly amusing conversations with airplanes at a facility called Kennedy International Airport in what used to be New York City. The guy was known as Kennedy Steve, and let me tell you, this controller at MacDonald reminded me a lot of him.
Below are some of the exchanges I was able to record.
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DOCK: "DeLacy Oscar-Oscar-Foxtrot, Dock, when you going in?"
...
DOCK: "Oscar-Oscar-Fox?"
...
DOCK: "DOCK to DeLacy Fox!"
FDL-OOF: "Go for Oscar-Oscar-Fox?"
DOCK: "OK, sir, here's how this works. WHO gets to go in first?"
FDL-OOF: "Auuurgh..."
DOCK: "'Augh' is not a good answer, I guess you can wait. DeLacy 2-22 heavy, does the Pad want you in first, or the Viper? And I know I'm asking a crazy question like they'd know, but I figured I'd ask."
FDL-222: "No, no. We're following the Corvette, Viper is LAST, but thank you. 2-22 heeeeeavy."
DOCK: "Thank you! DeLacy Fox, follow the Anaconda through the mail slot to Pad 40, give them your story on 1-23-9."
FDL-OOF: "Wilco, Oscar-Oscar-Fox."
GMY-Z64: "Pad, Gutamaya Zulu-6-4 super, for Pad 3, what's our sequence?"
DOCK: "...ugh, if I called you Dynamics Zulu-6-4, how would you feel, sir? 'Cause that's how I feel when you call me PAD."
GMY-Z64: "Uuuuuuh...oh, DOCK, Gutamaya 6-4, sorry about that, what's our sequence?"
DOCK: "Zulu-6-4 super, Dock, you see that Viper off your right following the heavies? Follow him in."
GMY-Z64: "Uh, copy. So, you want us ahead of the T7?"
DOCK: "If you're talking about the guy who just dropped in and hasn't called me yet, then yes, you're going in ahead of him."
GMY-Z64: "Copy, Gutamaya 6-4 super."
LKN-467: "Dock, Lakon 4-67, requesting docking clearance aaaaaaand...we are heavy."
DOCK: "Lakon 4-67 heavy, Dock. That makes two of us. Cleared for Pad 10. Your sequence is the Gutamaya Super off your left that'll be coming around en un momento. Don't impale him, please. Follow him through the mail slot. Monitor 1-23-9."
LKN-467: "Give way to the Super from the left, then follow him in to Pad 10 and monitor 23-9. Thank you, Lakon 67 heavy."
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GMY-S32: "Dock?"
DOCK: "Yes, ship?"
LKN-56Y: "Dock, Lakon 56-Yankee heav-...er, sorry! 56-Yankee SUPER, 5 kilometers out, to land."
DOCK: "Lakon 56-Yankee super, Dock, uhhh...are you a T9 or a T10?"
LKN-56Y: "T9, 56-Yankee."
DOCK: "Okay, 56-Yankee super, follow the Mamba ahead. Hold short of the mail slot until the other Lakon Super opposite direction comes out, then you can go in to Pad 6. Monitor 1-23-POINT-9er. Once you land, call maintenance as your transponder data has you as a T10."
LKN-56Y: "Oh, boy. Follow the Mamba, short of the slot until the Super comes out, then Pad 6, monitor 23-9, and call maintenance about the transponder. Thank you, Lakon 56-Yankee."
CDM-95T: "Dock, Dynamics 95-Tango, out of Pad 12, ready for departure."
DOCK: "Dynamics 95-Tango, Dock. Do you trust the guy in front of ya?"
CDM-95T: "Eh, he's not bad."
DOCK: "Okay, follow him out through the mail slot. Caution, the other Lakon Super opposite direction that will be holding short."
CDM-95T: "Heheh. Follow the BIG Lakon through the mail slot and give way to the other Super, Dynamics 95-Tango."
DOCK: "Peterson Alpha-94?"
ZPS-A94: "Alpha-94?"
DOCK: "Continue your approach to the mail slot and it's your choice: Fly fast, end up in front of the Super. Fly slow, end up behind him. Purely up to you."
ZPS-A94: "Continue to the mail slot and, uh...I think we're feeling fast tonight."
DOCK: "Peterson Alpha-94, splendid. Mail slot to Pad 18, you're the next contestant. The Pad frequency is 1-2-3-point-9. Good night."
ZPS-A94: "23-9 for Pad 18, Peterson Alpha-94."
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DOCK: "Apex 4-25, are you disguised in a Colonia Shuttle paint job again?"
APX-425: "That's affirmative for Apex 4-25."
DOCK: "Alright, and...Kruger 5-89 heavy, follow the Colonia Adder from the left."
SKG-589: "Copy, joining the line behind the Colonia, Kruger 5-89."
DOCK: "Apex 4-25, can you do me a favor?"
APX-425: "Sure."
DOCK: "At some point, during the evening, can you ask your high-quality dispatchers, if you guys are an Apex callsign with a Colonia paint job, really needs to say so on the transponder data."
APX-425: "OK, we will let them know. Thanks."
DOCK: "DeLacy 2-22 heavy, what's the word?"
FDL-222: "Yes, sir. I'm sorry, we've just been handed over to you by the pad agent. Unfortunately, we have a technical issue. Can we stay here, or do we need to, uh...vacate the pad?"
DOCK: "Err, you can have that discussion with the pad. As far as I'm concerned, you can stay there as long as you need to."
FDL-222: "OK, so, well...he told us to go to you to have that transfer. Would you like us to go back to him?"
DOCK: "So he wants you to leave the pad for 10 minutes and wait, and I want you to stay on the pad. Well, good news. I have more control than he does. You can stay there."
FDL-222: "Thank you, sir. We'll hold here, DeLacy 2-22. And we'll stay with you."
DOCK: "Apex 4-25 in disguise, give wa-...actually, Kruger 5-89, hold short of the mail slot until the Super opposite direction goes by, then you can go out."
SKG-589: "Wilco, Kruger 5-89 heavy."
DOCK: "Apex 600 in disguise, you need the company out, then you can go in?"
APX-600: "Yes, sir."
DOCK: "OK, well, that should be happening here within the next minute as the company is about to transition through the mail slot. Give way to the Heavy Kruger opposite direction as you go in."
APX-600: "Okay, behind the Super, wait for company, then give way to the Kruger opposite direction. Thank you, Apex 600."
DOCK: "Lakon 17-X-ray, I'm gonna assume once Kruger comes out, you can go in?"
LKN-17X: "I'm never gonna assume anything, but that is the plan they've given us."
DOCK: "Splendid."
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GMY-6T3: "Dock, Gutamaya 6-Tango-3?"
DOCK: "Gutamaya 6-Tango-3?"
GMY-6T3: "Gutamaya 6-Tango-3 is 5 kilometers out, the, uh...Pads are full, so we're gonna need to stop short of the mail slot."
DOCK: "Gutamaya 6-Tango-3, okay...They got a lot of open pads in there. They got no valet?"
GMY-6T3: "Err..we wish..."
DOCK: "Okay, hold short of the mail slot, 500 meter-eh... let's make that 1 kilometer, until they figure out where they want you. Call me back when they're ready for ya."
GMY-6T3: "Wilco, 6-Tango-3."
FLS-94K: "Dock, Frontline 94-Kilo, 6 kilometers out, to land."
DOCK: "Frontline 94-Kilo, Dock, let me guess, the Pad wants you on 22, is that correct?"
FLS-94K: "How'd you know?"
DOCK: "Uuuuuhhh, the 5 credits a month I pay to the Psychic Friends Network?"
FLS-94K: "Hahaha!"
DOCK: "94-Kilo, follow the Crusader in through the slot, then Pad 22. Monitor 1-2-3-9."
FLS-94K: "Pad 22, behind the Crusader. Thank you, Frontline 94-Kilo. C'YA!"
DOCK: "C'YA!"
FDL-414: "Dock, it's DeLacy 4-14 heavy, coming out of Pad 2, for departure."
DOCK: "DeLacy 4-14 heavy, Dock. Err...follow the Dropship, hold short of the mail slot."
FDL-414: "DeLacy 4-14, hold short of the mail slot, behind the Dropship."
DOCK: "Kruger 46-Zulu, join the conga line. Your sequence will be the Vulture ahead. The Pad frequency will be 1-2-3-9."
SKG-46Z: "Okay, join the line, follow the Vulture and, uh...1-2-3-9, Kruger 46-Zulu heavy."
FDL-414: "And DeLacy 4-14, now short of the mail slot. I don't see that Dropship?"
DOCK: "Oh, I'm sorry. He's already gone by, sir. You can proceed through the slot."
FDL-414: "DeLacy 4-14, through the mail slot."
DOCK: "DeLacy 4-14, really hard for you to follow the Dropship, when he was really a Gunship."
FDL-414: "Okay, I think I got that one in sight, DeLacy 4-14 heavy."
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DOCK: "DeLacy 3-32, Dock, which pad do they want you on?"
FDL-332: "Pad 14."
DOCK: "There's no need to rush."
FDL-332: "Okay."
APX-676: "And Apex 6-76, we are holding short of the mail slot, about 500 meters. It appears we got company coming out and we need to go in. Is this a good spot to, uh...to stay for a second?"
DOCK: "No, it's a good spot to stay for a second. I bet it's at least 5 minutes. And it's a good spot for 5 minutes. But, you know, if we need to move you, we'll move you."
APX-676: "Alright, thank you very much."
LKN-115: "Dock, it's Lakon 1-15 heavy, we're 6 kilometers out, to land."
DOCK: "Lakon 1-15, Dock, continue your approach to the mail slot. When you get to the mail slot, yield to, not 1, but 2 Apex Adders."
LKN-115: "Yield to 2 Adders. My goodness. At the mail slot, then to the Pad. Lakon 1-15 heavy."
DOCK: "And Lakon 1-15 heavy, what Pad number do you possess this evening?"
LKN-115: "Pad number 5, Lakon 1-15 heavy."
DOCK: "Well there's-...In that case, sir, there is absolutely no reason to rush."
LKN-115: "Oh dear..."
DOCK: "Kruger 4-19, Dock, where does thou enter the hangar?"
SKG-419: "Pad 17, Kruger 4-19."
DOCK: "Kruger 4-19, company gets out of your way, you can go to the Pad. Everybody goes home happy."
SKG-419: "Alright, Kruger 4-19"
DOCK: "Peterson 6-71, at the mail slot, give way to the rich people from the left."
ZPS-671: "HAH! Will do, Peterson 6-71."
DOCK: "Lakon 1-15 heavy, you can just hold short of the mail slot, sayyyy...500 meters, 'til they sort out what they're doing with the Heavy Dynamics. Just let me know what the plan is when you have it."
LKN-115: "The plan is, the Dynamics is going to depart the Pad. As soon as he's clear out, we can go in."
DOCK: "Sounds like a simple enough plan that I might even be able to figure that one out."
DOCK: "Dynamics 5-12?"
CDM-512: "We're here?"
DOCK: "Can you just kind of creep along, so I can...use the real estate behind y'all."
CDM-512: "Alright, we're cruising."
DOCK: "You know what? The guy working 23-9 is a modicum of efficiency. So you shouldn't be out there very much longer."
CDM-512: "Okay, sounds good. Thank you."
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Hopefully this fellow is still around the next time I stop by that starport.