Cmdr Pimp Master
Role
Privateer
Registered ship name
Credit balance
-
Rank
Tycoon
Registered ship ID
-
Overall assets
-
Squadron
Allegiance
Independent
Power
Independent

Logbook entry

Commander breaks funny bone or Zero G look at me PT 2

20 Aug 2021Pimp Master
Part 2 begins with the video being played by Bilbo.

[Video starts and for your reference all nurses and the doctor are of the female persuasion]
Nurse1: Doctor, he appears to have a crushed pelvis.
Doctor: Let's see... does it hurt when I press here?
CPM: Holy crap YES!
Doctor: How about here?
CPM: YES!!!
Doctor: and here?
CPM: What the hell!! YES!!
Doctor: and how about here?
CPM: For the love of Danica Patrick's hot frame, STOP!!
Nurse1: Let's take a look, so do you feel any discomfort when I press here?
CPM: HELL FLAME of a DWARFS ASS! Why? Why are you doing this? You already know what is wrong with me!
Nurse1: Oh we know what is your problem and we know your injury so we plan on fixing them, big bad booty daddy.
CPM: Wait them? Hold on, we haven't gone out or on a date... something have we?
Nurse1: Oh heavens no way but you did have an interaction with my wonderful sister.
CPM: She a stripper too?
Nurse: What? No you creep!... what do you mean too?
CPM: I thought all nurses did side gigs as strippers, you already have the outfits for it.
Nurse1: ***pressing on pelvis and commander lets out another scream*** My sister is sweet and was never a stripper, she is a mechanic in the station's docking bay.
CPM: So... what? Is she hot?
Nurse1: You caused the incident in the dock and she was laid up for a week in my med bay!
CPM: That was so many logs ago and to be fair it wasn't my fault.... well not entirely.
Nurse1: and neither is this *** turns to doctor*** we are ready.
Doctor: Activate magnetic shoes and set the system to zero G.
Nurse1: Done
Nurse2: The equipment has been configured and is ready.
CPM: The pain has finally stopped and I have to confess had major shrinkage like an ex-wife was near looking for more alimony.
Doctor: No Commander the pain is about to begin and your alimony checks are due now.
CPM: Wait I was never convicted on that and uh oh...
Nurse2: lets flip him over.... ah the tan bum... unfortunately this procedure will cause you to revert to a very pale un-tan bum.
CPM: For the love of single moms everywhere!! Not my tan bum!!! This luscious bum is an Imperial treasure which is loved by dwarves, women and aliens alike!
Doctor: Well we are about to pull the pants up on this Commander.
Nurse1: Should we sterilize?
CPM: No need, I had a vasectomy or at least that is what she said she was doing with her teeth.
Doctor: I'll take care of it nurse, Commander please be quiet. [Rubbing cold disinfectant pad on the commander's back in a circular motion moving downwards]
CPM: Wooo that is cold.
Doctor: Cold like your soul, suck it up Commander
CPM: You know, this is a major turn on for me.
Doctor: Not for me
CPM: Yeah, they all say that too. By the way doc...
Doctor: Yes
CPM: Lower
Doctor: I know how to do this.
CPM: Lower
Doctor: ....
CPM: Errrrr TOO LOW!... [Looking into the doctors eyes with a small smirk] Lower
Doctor: Sick perverted bastard
CPM: It's working for me.
Nurse1 The probe is ready
CPM: Probe?
Doctor: Yes, I want to make sure there isn't any possible internal bleeding.
CPM: There will be if you use that toy for queen kong on me.
Nurse1: Stop being a baby Commander, it's used all the time ***whispers*** on very large mammals.
CPM: OK, your ass first hot lips Houlihan.
Nurse1: Commander, I thought you were brave and the word is very adventurous.
CPM: Not my bum, again national treasure! Hey if you had some beads or even some finger play I'm good with that but that thing... Nope no can do ghost rider.
Doctor: Commander this is a medical facility not a brothel.
CPM: Excuse me, I know a brothel or two or ten and I must say that all of you would fit in fine there, makeup and outfits that even my dwarves would be jealous. You all look as cheap as the last buffet I bought, so don't knock it till you have danced on the pole.... of love..
Nurse2: Can we just put him under and do this?
CPM: Easy there Atilla the hun. There will be no ass pillaging on this commander by you Mongolians.
Doctor: Well then, ok, but there is just one other way to inject the nanos but it is far more painful.
CPM: I doubt that seriously.
Doctor: Nurse get the injector craftsmen series ass grinder 2000. *** Item looks like a meat tenderizer used in hell****
CPM: So how does this close relative from Freddy Krueger work?
Doctor: Well it's simple Commander, we hit you in the bum with this, causing the injection of nanobots and then a painful current of electricity will fire sealing the wound so that we can repeat again and again.
CPM: How many times?
Doctor: 20, no less.
CPM: and my insurance pays for this?
Doctor: Yes of course Commander.
CPM: Holy crap, I have been paying Mistress Zuzu for this when I could get it for free here! Spank me like you mean it and don't spare the elbow grease!
Nurse1: Your disgusting
Nurse2: and nasty
Doctor: don't forget depraved.
CPM: Said every stripper ever before a lap dance with me and yet they still did it, so who's depraved? Load up ladies, daddy has been very bad!
***** Many screams and a very burnt bum later*****
Doctor: Only one more to go.
CPM: [Breathing heavy] Happy ending?
Nurse2: Let me get the probe please.
Nurse1: Please Doctor
Doctor: I know, I'm tempted too but the answer is still not at this time.
CPM: Nurse, I would like to say I am sorry for your sister's plight.
Nurse1: You don't mean it.
CPM: Oh I do, I understand why she went in as a mechanic and not in the medical field.
Nurse1: What?
CPM: Yeah, as a mechanic she fixes things and resolves issues but you just stand around with that resting bitch face and every time I get close to enjoying this in my very special way, I have to see your face staring back at me and its a real joy killer.
Nurse1: I'm a gonna kill him!!
Nurse2: I'll help!
CPM: Oh look there, it's Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Slut.
Doctor: Get the probe!!
***Bilbo Pauses video***
Bilbo: Why would you do that?
Eden: Yes, why antagonize them to that point?
CPM: Part of my plan.
Bilbo: What to get sodomized?
CPM: Don't get excited Willy Wonka, They were gonna use that on me anyway. I heard the two Nurses talking privately and they said that they would wait two days and tell me that the first procedure didn't take.
Bilbo: Wow they really hate you.
CPM: They shouldn't have disappointed me.
Bilbo: Huh?
CPM: I was expected some dancing, some freaky stuff to go along with my punishment, all they did was stand and watch. I charge people to do that. I'm not free.
Bilbo: Ok Marky Mark, so how did you get out of that without going all brokeback mountain?
CPM: continue the video skidmark.
Eden: Wait, does this have to do with the strange call you made to me, I'm still mad at you about that...
*** Bilbo unpauses video***
CPM: ***using com*** Commander to Eden
Eden: Commander are you alright? I heard you were damaged.
CPM: No worries Eden, just getting some special medical treatment and by special I mean very special.
Nurse1: [Talking to other nurse] I thought you took his com unit?
Nurse2: No, I was to busy getting the equipment setup.
Eden: Commander, I really don't want to hear about your special adventures.
CPM: Are you sure?
Eden: Commander, I can and will hit you with current that will curl your upper lip so hard you will talk with a lisp for the rest of your life.
CPM: [Commander winks at the doctor] Doc it's been fun but I got to get back to my ship and you three have a date with destiny or rather Eden, she is very jealous...
Doctor: Your not going anywhere you pervert, your gonna pay for all of the filth you have put us through and I'm personally going to use this and drill till I strike crude oil.
CPM: Eden
Eden: Yes
CPM: Are you sure you don't want to watch, it's very sexy and the doctor has flared her nostrils.
Eden: I'm positive
CPM: Eden:
Eden: [Angry] YES COMMANDER!!!!
CPM: Your sister liked to watch
Eden: Frying your dumb ass now!!!
*** Sparks fly, med staff is magnetic locked shoes which allows current to shoot straight up their locked body to the tune of any Metallica song***
CPM: Thanks Eden
Eden: I'm happy to fry you anytime Commander. Now don't talk to me the rest of the day
*** Zero G shuts down from overload and all med staff has a burnt smell and a very strange curled upper lip***
CPM: Well that was a quick hair style change from poufy to crispy. If my pelvis didn't hurt so bad, I might be interested.
*** Med staff talks but the lisp is so strong the commander is unable to understand them***
*** Video ends***
Eden: So that is why you pissed me off. Huh... very smart of you, if only I had known I would have let them drill . You do know that the shock drained my capacitors completely, lucky it didn't kill them as it was meant for you.
CPM: With that much hate in their heart... no, only the good die young.
Bilbo: So what happened to the med staff?
CPM: Well the shock not only gave them a sexy lisp but it also gave them some brain damage. I do however have a date with nurse1 in 5 days.
Bilbo: Your crazy!!
CPM: I'm pretty sure she doesn't remember anything and you know what they say about crazy nurses. Hmmmmm clean up aisle 1 - 5!!
Eden: Someone needs to neuter you for the good of the universe.
CPM: Maybe Eden but first things first. I need to heal and I need to re-tan this glorious ass.
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