The Sock, the nurse and a chimney?
24 Aug 2023Pimp Master
[Israel Station - Med Lab - It's space so it is still dark outside}Desk Nurse: Welcome gentlemen to the Israel Station med lab, how can we be of service.
Dwarf 1: Our Commander has an itchy crotch lass.
Desk Nurse: Oh my, well, what other symptoms are you having?
Pimp: Tenderness around my...
Dwarf 2: Just tell her how you got it.
Pimp: Slow your roll booster seat.
Dwarf 2: We are just trying to help you Commander.
Pimp: Listen when I need help from you pack of marring butt munches, I'll let you know.
Dwarf 1: He screams like a child seeing their grandma naked when he goes number 1.
Desk Nurse: Oh my, this is serious.
Pimp: I don't scream as much as perform manly grunts of pain.
Dwarf 2: Oh no, it's a scream like you dropped the soap in an prisons shower.
Pimp: Damn it, that was Bilbo I only watched.
Desk Nurse: If we could please get back on target here.
Dwarf 1: Oh the Commander knows how to stay on target no doubt lass.
Pimp: Listen you rejects from a bull milking farm, I know my pain and I know how to describe it to this extremely hot and rather sensual nurse. Allow me to continue, it was in the dead of space, fighting monsters that inhabit only the nightmares of the most vile. I was alone and my ship had taken great damage from combat. I knew that I would need to perform emergency repairs in order to just survive..
Dwarf 2: In short, we got high on chemical x and the Commander put on a space suit and humped the cockpit screen.
Dwarf 1: He called it the velour kobayashi maru maneuver.
Pimp: It will be studied for years to come and I did several times, eh.
Desk Nurse: You Dwarves allowed this?
Dwarf 1: We turned on the windshield wipers but it hit his junk and he started yelling and I quote, "Do you feel me now baby".
Pimp: Yeah , she felt all of this!
Desk Nurse: Exposing bare skin in outer space is reckless and extremely dangerous.
Pimp: I wore a condom
Dwarf 2: No you ass, that was my sock.
Pimp: and it kept my junk warm enough to perform the maneuver perfectly. Thats the way you support your Commander you scrubs!!
Desk Nurse: Tinea Pedis
Pimp: Huh?
Dwarf 1: Hahahahaha, this is just too good!
Pimp: What?
Dwarf 2: I get it! Hahahahahahahahahaha You got athletes foot on your junk Commander.
Pimp: Oh no, my ball sack, my precious sword of heavenly love! Why evil gods, why [Sobbing]
Desk Nurse: Charlette, we have another ream and scream.
Pimp: Ream and scream?
Dwarf 1: Popcorn
Dwarf 2: Camera
Pimp: Only Fans, I do this for you. Will it hurt.
Dwarf 2: [Talks in com unit] Eden, it's a ream and scream!
Eden: Get it on video please, hahahahahaha!
[Charlette takes Pimp in the back]
Dwarf 1: Lass is there anyway we can film this?
Desk Nurse: No worries, its all on the security cams right now, see.
Dwarf 2: We need copies and would you happen to play poker?
Desk Nurse: Do Dwarves like feet?
Dwarf 1: Lass, never ask a Dwarf if he likes feet. Here is several pics of yours.
Desk Nurse: How? the desk, you never... you are naughty boys.
Dwarf 1: Lass, say it like you mean it...
Dwarf 2: oooooh look, the procedure is beginning.
Pimp: Hey, the big bad booty daddy likes to be tied up but I really need to get this taken care of first.
Charlette: Of course Commander. You might feel a slight bit of discomfort.
[Charlette steps over with a large spike on a rather long rod]
Pimp: Wait... that won't fit there!
Charlette: Hush, mommy needs her special time.
Pimp: For the love of Satan don't insert that down my.... mommy!
[Screams of pain and anguish echo throughout the halls and yet up front at the main desk]
Dwarf 1: Holy cow, she is going at that like a chimney sweeper.
Dwarf 2: Wow, she has got some massive forearm strength! I'll bet she is good at bowling.
Dwarf 1: I can't believe the Commander is still conscious!
Dwarf 2: Well it's bondage porn for sure and he is paying for this so he will stay awake.
Desk Nurse: I'll give the Commander credit, he is better endowed than I thought but it might be due to the infection. Lets see what is left after Charolette finishes.
Charlette: Well Commander, I've finished my procedure.
Pimp: I've finished *** coughing*** ever having kids. Will you at least call me in the morning?
Charlette: I will not.
Pimp: Send in the clowns errr Dwarves please.
[Charlette goes out of the room and back to the main desk]
Charlette: Gentlemen, please go collect what remains of your Commander
Dwarf 1: Would it be too forward to say that we love you?
Charlotte: Yes
Dwarf 2: No need trying any further lad, the monster has been satisfied with the sacrifice offering. We will just need to wait a few days and approach again.
Charlette: I would recommend that he not engage in any sexual activity or anything that might get him aroused. It will have very painful consequences.
Dwarf 2: Check! Get him amped up on chemical X and walk him into a brothel.
Charlette: Here is my number, call me you evil little troll.
Dwarf 1: Mommy?
[Dwarves enter exam room]
Dwarf 1: Commander, hows it hanging?
Pimp: Like bate during shark week, thanks for asking my little discarded pubic hair.
Dwarf 2: So, lets get you back to the ship. Prop you up on the couch and let you relax with a little softcore porn.
Pimp: Everything but the porn sounds good, I just don't have it in me right now.
Dwarf 1: Yeah, it's all over the floor.
Pimp: Listen, when she grabbed ahold of my junk with a grip that would shatter most mens testicles, I knew I was in for a ride.
Dwarf 2: The way she went at it, your shit should puff smoke for years to come.
Pimp: Puff? Look at the little man! Look at him! He is so defeated he has gone almost flat!
Dwarf 1: I am not looking at your junk, I don't care that you got pumped up like a childs balloon and popped like a zit. You humped the ship with my sock and then dropped that used item on my head while I slept. I put that shit on my foot, wondering why it was so sticky!! You bastard!
Pimp: The old return to sender.
Dwarf 1: I'm glad you got athletes foot on your junk!
Pimp: Well, I forgive you, might as well, you did walk around in my love for half a day.
Dwarf 1: You have no shame.
Pimp: Shame? What does that word mean? By the way, I need to sit up, could you gently lift up my junk?
Dwarf 2: No worries, there is Charlette, we will call for her.
Pimp: Wait a second... I don't need the cast iron fist, I'll do it myself.
[After several minutes the team leaves and finds themselves back on the Sade]
Pimp: Every step hurt my sphincter
Dwarf 1: Whatever, we are off to club.
[Dwarves leave, only Pimp and Eden remain on the Sade]
Eden: Commander are you feeling well.
Pimp: [slowly opens eyes to see Eden in lingerie] Wait, Eden what?
Eden: I just wanted to show you my new purchase, see it even has a thong... oops I dropped my pen.. let me just pick this up.
Pimp: Noooo, don't! Leave it! Look at her glorious butt cheeks! Wait.. what eeeeyooowww the pain my junk.. pain.. must.. pass out quickly but check out the side boob action... EEEEYYYOOOO!!!!
[This activity repeated multiple times. The Commander might have broken a record for times passing out]