Questions of Conscience | Personal Log 07.27.3308
27 Jul 2022Mark Zero
-//Log Entry Start[Date: 07.27.3308]
[Location: Bright Sentinel, HIP 22460]
"Congratulations, Commander! Due to your sizable contributions to our operations, you are now considered an Ally of Azimuth Biotech."
It was a message I'd seen plenty of times, from plenty of different factions all over the bubble, so often they were usually mundane. But not this time. My stomach sunk a little as I heard the ping hit my inbox on the walk across the deck back to the Rocksteady. The Bright Sentinel's hangar crew, working stiffs not much different from me, were still unloading canisters full of faintly glowing ancient artifacts from a long dead alien civilization out of my cargo hold.
This was the first time being somebody's ally felt like a real mistake.
I still haven't taken off, even though I really ought to. This system's become the worst Thargoid war zone in recent history, all by the design of the messianic madman who's going to use my cargo as part of his Proteus Wave weapon. I haven't worked up the gall to get back into my pilot's chair and bring the Rocksteady back to the Amaurot's Legacy, even though sitting in the bar on my own fleet carrier would be more welcome than sitting against the back wall of my cockpit drinking a cup of instant coffee. If nothing else, the coffee'd be better on the Legacy.
... Right. Never mentioned in this thing that I got a fleet carrier. I'll get into that later.
Truth is... I don't know why I did this. It's not like I don't know who Salvation really is. I've been to the dead wreck of Iraxon Lane. I've heard Caleb Wycherly's audio logs. I know what he says he wants; total annihilation of the Thargoids as a species, just because he finds their existence offensive. I know he was involved with INRA, and the development of the Mycoid weapon. I know what kind of egotistical madman I just delivered cargo for.
I also know that the Thargoids can and will obliterate entire stations full of innocent people who are just living their lives. And I also know that usually it's because we expanded into space they consider to be their territory, and they're trying to push us back out by force.
I know a lot of people are dying on all sides of this damn thing that Salvation started.
So I dunno. Maybe I did this because the only way this is gonna end is Salvation firing off the Proteus Wave. There are a lot more enthusiastic Commanders out there than me making these deliveries. I only did one, and only on the last call. Maybe I'm doing this so that the conflict ends and people stop dying. Maybe after this is all over, Azimuth might have to answer for the human rights crimes they've committed "in the name of saving the human race".
Maybe that's the lie I'm telling myself to feel better about all of it. All I know for sure right now is that being considered an "ally" of these people ain't sitting right on my conscience.
-//Log Entry End