Log 10 - CMDR Alexis Bright
22 Oct 2021Alexis Bright
Log status: Public
Date: 22 OCT 3307
*START OF TRANSMISSION*
Hi... So... I have a confession to make...
Let's start by backing up a bit first, though.
So after dinner with Tori and Aurora, me and Aurora talked about how we should continue together...
Long story short, we decided to stay good friends.
After our "talk", we decided to hang a bit.
At one point, she got a message from family to meet her parents...
No idea why, but she suddenly got all worked up about it. When I asked her why she didn't talk to her parents, that didn't help apparently.
Anyway, she invited me to join her visit.. Something about supporting her. I thought visiting family was supposed to be a fun thing?
Now, let me get to the point though... Jaiden showed up in the Concourse channel again...
That's right... Backstabbing Jaiden...
Of course I had to make it clear to him it wasn't appreciated.
For some reason, he took it quite well and understood my anger... Which somehow made me even more angry...
2 other CMDR's, Falina and Isabella, didn't take it quite as well and called me out for being unreasonable or something... But I dismissed it because they're relatively new and don't really know our history. - I explained it briefly, though.
Aurora noticed I was getting more worked up, and asked me what was wrong... So I told her.
She told me to at least give him a chance, though.. So I decided to invite him to a meeting, let him prove he's still worth breathing.
He - and Falina for that matter - just couldn't accept it though.. They were very convinced I'd straight up wanted a meeting just to punch Jaiden....
Soooo that's where I messed up, apparently...
I kinda got triggered by that.. So I straight up threatened him...
I told Jaiden that if I wanted to do something to him, I wouldn't bother to keep talking in the Concourse channel.. Oh, and also that I'd make Drake's threats to him seem like a walk in the park...
Jaiden responded with:
You asked to meet me in-person to discuss this, which I was fully prepared to do, yet you are continuing to attack me to the point of making a threat very equivalent to the one Drake did. Quite honestly, I actually do not need to put up with this after I was put in a fairly awful situation, so I will leave my apology here and sign off from G.R.I.D for now - and I would rather keep it at that.
Thanks for your time, Commanders.
CP Jaiden Stafford
He immediately went offline from G.R.I.D. after that..
I also must've done something physically, as Aurora immediately responded to it and wondered what got me all worked up.. So I explained her...
Boy... I've never seen her so angry... At me...
She suddenly got up and... she was livid. She asked me how I could say something like that to him, after what he's been through... That I should've kept my mouth shut and waited after the meeting so I at least could give him a chance to prove himself to the squadron...
Yeah... She sure made it clear that it wasn't cool what I did, but she suddenly blurted out that she hated how I acted sometimes... like that time we were providing escort for some miners and... I got a bit too into the 'killing'...
She said she didn't know who I'd become... who I was... and then she went quiet and just stood in front of me.
Honestly, I was so shocked by her response to me... I didn't even fight it... I just stood there and took it all in...
When she was done, I handed her my trusty Tormentor.
She was taken aback, asking what I was trying to say... It seemed like she got confused by that action... Made her more angry...
But all I said was: "You're right... Take it..."... and then I couldn't hold back the tears.
I was going to turn, and run out of her quarters... but she grabbed my arm as I stood up and...
And suddenly she hugged me, tightly... And I let it all out... just broke down and couldn't stop crying...
That's when I realized I may have been... Malformed...?
I mean, obviously how I grew up has made me who I am... But what am I, really? An insensitive murder machine..?
Is that really what I want to stay? I don't really... but... I don't know any better...
And Aurora just kept hugging me tightly... Telling me it was okay. That was a bit of a relief... Knowing she wasn't still angry at me but... What she said still echoed in my head. That maybe I needed to change...
Eventually we... Both stopped crying and... She said it was okay again... That I could talk to her about anything. To be honest... I just wanted to rest after that... Breakdown... So... I just kind of kept quiet and asked if we could talk about it tomorrow.
Here's hoping I didn't mess up a potential meeting with Jaiden... I asked Peacekeeper Hawkins to send my apologies for the threat to Jaiden.
And... I also publicly apologized to everyone else in the Concourse channel... For threatening Jaiden so early on... Without letting him share his side of the story... I didn't mean to but... I just got... So angry, I guess...
So I'll need to think about this... and how I'll deal with it... and hopefully I didn't just ruin everything...
Alexis out.
*END OF TRANSMISSION*
Thanks to Radium for the help by giving advice and proofreading. Also a huge thanks to allow me to build on top of the awesome lore you write!