Burnt Out
17 Oct 2021Aylin Ouyang
I'm burnt out, figuratively and almost literally.I've been in the Paresa system for the last two or three UG days, I've lost count; I think it's three. I've been running nothing but rescue trips, ferrying people from Dyson City station to the rescue megaship that's practically tethered to the station right now. I've been sleeping in Cubeo's Gift during downtime, and sleeping in zero-G is not something I think I'll get used to. What's keeping me going so far is the thought of leaving people behind in the burning station.
When I saw Dyson City station for the first time, I could barely believe it. The Coriolis station was blanketed with emergency lights all over, and my heart and stomach fell into a pit when I saw fires burning and flames spewing into the void of space from the many holes punctured throughout the station. Cracks filled with the caustic agent used in the attack were visible in many places on the exterior, and seemed to glow green against the light of the star and the fires. Every run I did didn't ease the pain of seeing a station in this shape, it only made me sadder that it was in such a state.
Station Control was firm and professional as always, but I could hear the desperation and urgency in their voices this time. Guiding in to the station was a challenge; the heat from the fires and the threat of debris and explosions meant I had to be alert and be at my best in piloting. The heat, my goodness; I don't think I've ever sweat so much. It was tough to endure it and though I installed a heat sink launcher, the limited amount of uses meant I had to be careful to not run out early. I remember many a time steam started coming from behind some panels in the cockpit.
The worst of the entire experience though, was meeting the survivors who were desperate to be evacuated. I still remember all their faces as the station security did their best to keep everyone safe and the evacuation orderly. All the hopeful faces, young and old, waiting outside my ship, just trying to get a chance off the stricken station.
There was relief on their faces when I'd open the bay doors for them to board. Then there was the look of fear and disappointment on the remaining survivors when my ship was full and I started to close the bay doors; that broke my heart each time.
I'd always gesture and mouth to them that I would be back and return to pick them up.
So, that's why I am here in the Paresa system still. Other pilots are here too; some running evacuation, some doing supply runs, and others retrieving escape pods. We've all been doing our best, but there are still thousands of people onboard. I'm so tired but I don't feel like I can stop. I'll do my best to go on as long as possible.