Thoughts of a Lost Prophet
13 May 2017Isaiah Evanson
<<Begin recording>>12MAY3303 // UNKNOWN
Talked with the gods today, here on the bottom of the galaxy. The ones above didn't seem to care, so I appealed to the ones below.
The answer's the same for all of them, it seems. Silence.
Maybe it's the hubris of a simple man like myself trying to appeal to the supernatural. Maybe there's nothing beyond this realm.
My mother named me for the prophet of old. She was religious. Never understood it as I got older, but she always said that someone was watching over us. Some higher power. She never said God or gods or deities or whatever, she just believed in something higher than herself.
And while I'm out here, I can't help but feel like there is something out there, watching... but ultimately, it doesn't care. Why would it? We're just specks of light and dust in the grand scheme of things, aren't we? Gods don't have time for the petty squabbles of feeble creatures like us.
Maybe I'm just bitter. Bitter that I couldn't save Kahina, bitter that I can't go home, bitter that I sacrificed so much for... so little to show for.
I keep fluctuating between guilt and anger. Guilt because I wasn't good enough to save her; anger because I know there was nothing I could do. Her ship was already dying. The bounty hunter just drove the final nail into her coffin.
I came out here to see what there was to see. And there's been no shortage of things to be in awe of. But I also came out here to figure out what to do next.
I don't have many safe harbors, although I've received offers of amnesty from some sources. I think I'll pass. Don't know who to trust and don't know if I'd be doing anyone any favors by seeking their protection. It's better if I wander anyway.
I have to trust that my shadow carried out my instructions. He seemed wiling at the time. I don't know if there'll be any way for me to find out if he did except to contact him directly. Maybe in a few weeks.
Peregrina's on my mind. Old man at Citi Gateway - Grant - he gave me this fragment I've been looking over during this whole trip. Took it out of the case. Cold to the touch. Really cold. No doubt it's the real thing, but... what does it mean?
From what I can gather, Peregrina got permit locked a while back. "Plague system," they call it. Two outposts in the system - Talos One and Talos Two. Single terraformed earth-like world named Undine. Anyone passing through its atmosphere is to be blackballed and killed on sight.
Can't imagine why.
Is it really as simple as trying to contain a pathogen, or some other exotic lifeform? Or is it like some of these other secret blacksites in the void?
I'll make a point of trying to find out when I get back home.
But the question remains: what were the Thargoids doing in Peregrina? Were they Thargoids? I mean, that's the name we're giving the crashed ships, and this fragment definitely looks like it belongs to one of those sorts of ships. But a lot can change in thirty years' time.
The "Zurara" logs - the woman in them mentioned that something was coming. If Grant wasn't blowing sunshine up my ass at Citi Gateway, he mentioned that he found the wreckage in Peregrina around the same time as "R." left those logs. Two different areas of space, around the same time. Makes me wonder if the "something" R. mentioned is related to what Grant found.
But if that's true, what does that mean?
My mind can't really wrap around what I'm learning. It's all so much to process. Trying my best to though. Recording my own logs to play back and try to put the pieces together at a later time.
Keep hearing rumors from k-space that Salomé lives and this and that and it's so fucking pathetic how people are denying the reality of what happened. She was a deity to some, I think. They fed into the cult of her personality. But you know, in those brief moments that I spent with her, she wasn't a deity at all. And I suspect she'd never have described herself as such either.
That's why I chose to side with her. Because she was one person trying to find the truth. I followed her path, flew on her wing, discovered what it was she was willing to die for.
And now I'm out here... running, thinking, struggling to come to grips with what I've learned.
I know what side I'm on. The secret needs to be revealed. Whoever's pulling the strings needs to get unmasked. It's going to cost everyone something - and in the end, it might not even be the right thing to do.
But I can't believe that there are people who are intent to save humanity from whatever's coming. They can't possibly save humanity anyway. Only the elect will be saved in the end, and the rest of humanity will be left behind to fend for themselves. That's just history repeating itself.
Or, as my shadow says, history rhyming.
Beagle Point's my next stop. Still got a lot of flying left to do before I get there, but Sagittarius A* is behind me and the stars light my way.
Guess I'll keep talking to the gods. You never know, they might have a word for a prophet to carry back home.
<<End recording>>