Brewer Corporation Helpline
10 Jan 2023AKAArthur
“Hello, I’d like to report a fault with my Fleet Carrier.”“Yes, Sir. Thank you for calling. Happy New Year. My name is [redacted}, how may I be of assistance.”
“I’d like to report a fault with my Fleet Carrier.”
“Thank you, Sir. Could I please have your insurance details?”
“I wasn’t offered insurance when I bought it, so I don’t have that information to hand.”
“Oh dear. Thank you. Do you have a reference number?”
“Yes, I do. It’s T4V-L1T.”
“Thank you, Sir. Our records indicate that this carrier is currently in in 48 Cassiopeiae and…”
“I’m afraid that’s incorrect. It’s in Vukurbeh, about 10k ls out from the primary star.”
“I’m sorry, Sir. That’s impossible. Our records show that the carrier has been in 48 Cassiopeiae since a jump from Vukurbeh on Christmas Eve, 3308. We hope you had a lovely time this festive season.”
“I wish to disagree. I’m currently in Vukurbeh in a Krait Phantom looking at my Fleet Carrier.”
“I see, sir. Thank you. Could you please land and go to the main…”
“I can’t land on it. When I attempt to land, the landing gear doesn’t engage and there’s a loud noise the ship HUD goes black.”
“I’m sure it’s not the carrier, Sir. We quality check every one that goes out. Have you considered a Diamondback Explorer, we’ve never had any issues docking those.”
“Are you saying it’s a problem with the Phantom? Because it’s not that because I’ve tried various ships and none will land.”
“Well, Sir, my partner always recommends the DBX and has a carrier and purchased insurance. Did you say none will land, please?”
“That’s correct, [redacted]. May I also observe that my remote carrier app indicates that the jump from Vukurbeh to 48 Cassiopeiae is due in 00:00, and I can’t stop the jump.”
“Of course not, Sir, don’t be silly! From 5 minutes before departure, the controls are jump locked. Well, I’m afraid until you land and go to the main terminal, I can’t perform a level 1 test to diagnose the issue.”
“But I can’t land. Is there any technical support folks I can talk to, please?”
“No, Sir. Wait, I see from our records, there's a purchase date of 11th June 3308? Can you confirm, please? The date should be on the receipt.”
“Why yes, why do you ask?”
“Oh. Oh dear. On that date, the batch of 16 we issued that day had a software glitch.”
“So, it didn’t get quality control tested? Lovely. Look, I need to use this every day or I’m losing 33 mill a week and it's already been three weeks, can you please send someone out to fix this as soon as you can?”
“Yes, of course, Sir. Let me look at local agents. We have one available and I’ll see when the next slot is. Ooo, you’re very lucky Sir! We have a slot in 48 Cassiopeiae in April and I’ll book you in, thank you for calling goodbye…”
“WAIT! IT’S IN VUKUR…”
*click*