Logbook entry

Co-Pilot's Log, 21 Draco > Colonia: SitRep FUBAR, OpSec STAT, 10-20 WTF

11 Apr 2022Aurora Bael
(Ooc: the following log is part of an ongoing Collab with Lily Flemmon, who provided all the character work for Director Sean Warren and the other members of CTAC depicted herein. Thanks a lot, Lily!)

Hey, um, logbook. Mal Barrett here. Rory's uh... Rory's asleep. She told me to make an entry since she uh... She fuckin' can't right now, I guess... Told me to just be honest, and "ain't no one going to see it but us and whatever poor bastard finds our charred remains". It was very, um... She was adamant about it. Course I gave her hell earlier for the way things have been these past few days, so I'm sure that's part of it. Let's see...

After the last log — I didn't know this at the time — after the last log got corrupted and...'hijacked,' I think she said? Anyway some gross spy shit happened with her log and she freaked the hell out, as bad as that morning in Alioth but a lot less...choke-hold-y. She spun us about back to 21 Draco. I had tried to remind her the day before but it was like she couldn't even hear it. Like just a blanket of 'chipper' over her whole personality which, if you know Rory, is...odd. She has good moods, sure but 'chipper' is definitely not a word I'd use to describe them. But afterward? Nope, right back to urgent immediate business so important she couldn't tell me a damn thing about it.

We grabbed the FNS Paimon on the way to the station because... Reasons I guess. She wanted to send a message while she was there looking for someone, said it was important we represent the Navy as best as possible in the circumstances, which was fucking odd. I have literally never seen this woman in dress blues before, suddenly it's paramount. It looked like she was injection molded in a toy soldier factory when she was done, even covered up her tattoos with makeup. The effect was pretty powerful, I'll admit. Started carrying herself different and talking different. My olive reserve uniform still fit but it somehow didn't carry the same. I tried, but... I never was much for all that 'Humanity's Navy' bullshit, I just wanted to fly a FAS.

Chilton Terminal was probably the friendliest place I've seen in a decade. We're in Alliance space with Hudson colors flying in a Federal Navy registered heavy fighter and the worst look we got was a mix of whimsical bemusement and curiosity. One woman in the concorse at the bar even said "Guess we really do attract all kinds!" Which... I could tell it put Rory on her back foot for a second before she leaned into it, started asking questions about a Commander named 'Flemmon'. Only Flemmon I ever heard of was a piece of absolute shit ADF Chum-bucket, not to mention a man, but I guess this 'Lily' Flemmon is completely different. No one batted an eyelash at giving us info on where to find her, either, which did feel off. Like I said, this place was friendly. Calm. But any chance I took to loosen up, Rory'd clear her thorat or toss a snide comment at me about professionalism. Got on my fuckin' nerves to be honest. She was doing a pretty good job of acting like the kind of cop she was dressed as, though. I asked if she used to be one, she says "No, but I play one on TV." Pfff. Yah, okay Chief.

After the concourse we got sent to an arboretum in the second ring, 'Wiikwandiwin Garden'. And wow, was it green. I don't think I've ever seen an agricultural station so full of green. Yeah, I know, that's their whole point is minting O2 and growing plants, but this wasn't... It wasn't like potted plants and a skylight, the whole substructure had been gutted and re-fitted with a huge basin of soil, so all of them were growing together. Grasses, flowers, vegetables and holy shit TREES. Whole ass decades-old trees growing inside a station. And yeah, I'm just standing there slack-jawed at it and even Rory dropped character for a second when she saw it. Ran her fingers along the leaves at the edge of the path like she was going somewhere else in her head. A good place. It was relieving to see that calm on her face. Didn't last long; she started grilling one of the locals, took the liberty of introducing me by name and rank like she's my CO even though I outrank her, even as a Reserve Captain. Which, she's signing my check, I get it, but again, it got on my fuckin' nerves. Like, fine, she hired me, right? But if we're playing the part then let me fucking play it. Christ...

Look, I care about her. At this point I still didn't really know what was happening but she definitely needed help I couldn't give her. It sucks watching someone go through that. Part of me wants to just wrap her in a blanket with a hot tottie and a joint and just let her heal. The other part of me would punch her in the fucking jaw of I wasn't so sure I'd break my hand. She can be a real bitch when she's scared, like in a violent, nasty, claws-and-teeth-out way that is just NOT okay. But, I shrug it off because she's clearly disturbed. But I'm done doing that now. At least partly because now I know what the fuck is going on, but... A'ight, I'm getting ahead of myself.

As Rory's talking to some woman checking on the plants, she notices a placque on one of the older oaks in the grove. A woman named Roni who was killed there by none other than that fucking chum bucket I mentioned earlier. I put it together right away, but I uh... I don't think Rory has connected the dots yet. For someone so smart she can be really dense. It did bother me that everyone was so at ease with two Navy suits asking around about Lily Flemmon when Silas Flemmon had just murdered someone in cold blood there like, three weeks ago. Especially someone who "was a really good friend to all of us, to Lily especially," like the girl said. I'm no intelligence mastermind but that just felt... Dangerous. I know I caught Rory looking at me with that 'this is why we don't talk to cops' look on her face after I pulled her aside like "That was here?! That JUST happened!" or something like it.

So the lady in the garden sends us back to Ring 1 and the Admin section to meet with their co-op's director, a guy named Sean Warren. She also said we'd find a restaurant nearby but every time I even mentioned food, Rory gives me this side eye like I've lost my goddamn mind. "We have fresh food back at Paimon, relax." Like I'm some little kid. Hello, Chief, I'm hungry. Let me go eat! Not like she used me as much more than a prop to make herself look important, anyway. She snaps back "Will you shut the fuck up and let me work?!" By this point my patience is at its goddamn limit, but I'm still just chewing a hole in my tongue until we get back to the ship. Warren, on the other hand, is cool as hell. Older fellah, gotta be pushing eighty but easily has another eighty to go. And I can just tell he sizes up Rory and sees right through her thick skull and out the other side.

He wants to walk and talk. So we walk and talk. Rory puffs up her chest and does her cop shit and Warren just smiles politely like "Oh, Lily! Yeah, she left a few days ago with her partner to accompany the Cuisinier on its second mission. All the way to Colonia this time, with help from friends in the New Pilots Initiative. I don't know their travel route, but you could probably catch her there when she arrives."

I'm done at this point so I let slip "Colonia?! Fuuuuck that's half a galaxy away!"

Rory clears her throat at me like I'm some little kid, rolls her eyes and says "Pardon my associate. These reserve pilots, I swear!" And imma be honest, I was too angry to hear the rest. But Warren pipes up:

"I don't know about you, but I like him already. As for Colonia, we're renewing some old ties, and helping expand the cuisine out there- there are even some high-profile people in Colonia who complain about the food getting boring. Here's hoping they have a bit less reason to complain soon enough."

So finally, I catch Rory in a genuine laugh. She relaxes her shoulders for the first time in what feels like days and tries to play off how she just insulted me, all "You know, I have been playing 'good soldier' for so fuckin' long today, and now I hear I gotta talk to a director of something... It's nice to meet an administrator who's not 80% pomp by volume."

Sean replies "I'd like to meet them, because all the pompous ones I've met are well over 20% full of hot air." I like that guy. He's funny. And considering my mood? I needed the joke. But then he starts on about how he doesn't really "govern" CTAC and starts talking more about how they operate and Rory... Goddamn, he breathed the word "anarchy" and Rory's face is suddenly a little girl who got a pony for her birthday. After Alioth, that's all the confirmation I needed to know that Rory has been lying to me from the jump. And that was it. That was the very end of my ability to be nice. The Director says he doesn't know when Lily will be back, and Rory thinks it's a great idea for a Chief Petty Officer to order a Reserve Captain to go back to the ship and start preflight.

I say "After I eat," and about-face the fuck out.

She groans after me "Fine, get a burger or something, then get on!" I give her my best 'fuck you very much' smile and stat asking if she wants anything and she shouts "Barrett! Please. Pretty please. With sugar on top. Give me some fucking SPACE." Like, a'ight, damn, go ahead and blow your shit up, Chief, I can't give another fuck. As I'm walking away, I hear her hissing way too loud about some shit she probably wanted quiet, and Warren, cool as a cucumber, talking to her like a spoiled child. Did my heart a bit of good. Then they rise out of sight around the curve of the ceiling and... That's it. That's the last I see of her for two. Solid. Hours.

What time is it?... Fuck, this is getting long, but dammit, I got more to say! And I'm reading it into the record because fuck you, Rory, you can't just treat people like this. She stumbles in, stinking of gin, uniform a mess, makeup smeared off her face, like all the sudden the character and the very specific instructions and scoldings I got today don't mean dick after all and I just "Where the FUCK have you been?!"

"I got talking. Carried away in the moment, that's all."

"You said 'in and out'!"

"I did"

"You said no fucking around!"

"Yeah, I also said 'let me do the talking', and I got talking. So what?" she says all indignant.

"Oh is that like 'the uniforms send a message'? What the FUCK is up with your face?"

She goes pale, but doesn't crack. "Calm down. It's under control."

"No, Chief, it is not under control!" And I slam my coffee, and spill it, so I cross the galley indignantly to pour another cup. "You pin me to the wall, you turn into Betty Fucking Crocker for two days, then it's OpSec this and Hush Hush that and 'No Mal, not now Mal, shut up Mal' all goddamn day. Now you come waltzing in drunk, careless, looking like I just put on a pageant for NOTHING and I'm supposed to just be okay because 'it's under control'? Fuck yourself, Rory."

She opens her mouth to say something and stops, covering her face, back to the wall, rubbing her eyes and wonder of wonders, she says. "I...Fuck, I'm sorry, Mal. I am...not well." Then she lowers her hands below her eyes and looks me dead in the face. "You didn't deserve that."

"I KNOW!" I yell... Probably shouldn't have yelled, but I was furious with her. She had kept me in the dark for so long and all I want to do is help and she's so damn busy being 'in control' she wouldn't fucking let me! But, I got my composure back and just... Asked her. "Tell me what's going on. I'm on your payroll, right? Whatever you're mixed up in, I'm in it to. I have a right to know."

Rory's back slides down the wall and she hangs her head. She opens her mouth to speak and suddenly claps a hand over it, turning green. "I don't... I don't know how..." But then she trails off, pointing to our tiny fridge in Paimon's cramped ass galley. "There's a briefcase looking thing on the left side. Open it." Even that I can tell is straining her to say. And this was the first time it didn't seem to me like an act of some kind.

The case was... It was weird. Half briefcase, half server rack. It's got wires coming out the side labeled 'FSD', 'Coms', 'Sensors', and 'LP Bypass'. "The fuck?" Is about all I manage as I open it to find a bunch of printed circuit boards and a breadboard wiring them together in a weird ass way. It's just... It's just equipment, but it definitely doesn't look like standard stuff. "Rory, what the hell am I holding?"

"The worst kept secret in the Bubble," she said, half laughing to herself. "Hell, I'm pretty sure that director even had one. He's smart enough."

"Can you try answering me?" I snap back.

I don't think I'll ever forget the answer. It was so... Insane. "It's called a LoRCA. A Secure Long Range Communications Array. Anyone who's anyone in the intelligence community has one. It uses witchspace microtears to send encrypted coms signals through LIDAR pulses with a theoretical max range of 500,000 light years."

I slammed that case close so hard my teeth rattled and tossed it onto the table. "Bullshit. No way."

She just kept laughing like a maniac. Whether it was really funny or she was just that relieved I couldn't tell. "Nope. Everyone uses them. ADF, FNIS, IISS, everyone. Architecture is a little different between agencies but the principle is the same. But everyone needs secure coms so they just.... don't talk about it."

I ask "So why you tellin' me?" And she busts out laughing again and says:

"Well! It's certainly not because I'm a spy or anything! That would be crazy!" And by now she's half crying and wiping tears and spit from her face muttering about "why can I only say it sarcastically?" Or something. And I'm... In shock. It uh... It threw me for a loop, not gonna lie. I must have said 'No' twenty goddamn times and 'shit' about fifteen as I paced the galley staring at the thing.

I say "C'mon, Chief, you can't do me like this. I'm an explorer, not a fighter! You said it yourself!"

She says "So am I! It's just... Sometimes..." And I watch the green rise up her face but she swallows it back down with the most cartoonish shrug. "It used to be just... You know, smash and grab, the odd assassination, a few vendettas but...just now I think I'm a bit deeper than... that..."

I take a couple sips of coffee as it sinks in that this is my life now, and suddenly a lot more about the last couple days makes sense. Like... You know how you think about a food and you can almost taste it but just not quite? It's like that. I can almost see what's going on but not quite. Next I ask the dumb question: "So who's Lily?"

"She's..." Rory shakes her head, not sure how to answer. Still stifling little giggles and sobs as she wipes the spittle and tears and snot on her sleeve. It's unsettling to see her reduced to a blubbering mess like this. I haven't known her very long but even at her worst she was always so composed. And now... She's just not. Anyway she says something like "Lily is the next best thing to a spy. Or at least she was... And unlike anyone I know in the game, she's a friendly. Never kills anyone unless she's saving someone else."

"Right, cuz everyone you know would just shoot you the minute you turned up like this, yeah?" When I said that it was supposed to be sarcastic but... The look Rory gave me, that deer in the headlights stare. Helpless. Paralysed. So very scared... I had nailed it.

"I don't have anywhere else to go," she finally chokes out...

That was six hours ago. We got back on the Gambit and we're hauling ass to Colonia right now. It's far. Really fuck-off far, and we're a few days behind our mark already. I don't... I don't really understand what's happening to her. I'm not sure I want to; it looks like Hell. But if I can help her fix it by taking a couple hundred jumps through space I never seen before? Well... I was gonna do that anyway, wasn't I?

Anyhow, I been sitting in idle in front of this M Dwarf long enough. I better get back at it. She'll probably come back with some shit I left out. Anyway... Fuck it. I guess we're spies. Makes as much sense as anything else I ever done for the Feds, anyway.

Barrett out.
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