Seeking Safe Harbor
27 Apr 2022Aurora Bael
(OOC: this log is part of an ongoing collaborative project with Lily Flemmon, and contains some paraphrased roleplay from her. This content is used with permission as part of our characters' evolving joint storyline.)I found her.
She wasn't in Colonia exactly, but just about the next system over in Sovereign's Reach. Poetic, then, that I pulled her out of supercruise using my status as an officer of the Federal Navy. She was... Jittery. A bit nervous. Flying a stripped out Phantom with no hardpoints and no engineering. The Gambit was in a similar weaponless boat, but she didn't know it at the time, and so as I barked some orders for her to stay still and await further instructions while her vessel was scanned, she complied without protest. No warrants. No cargo. No contraband. Perfect record. Only reason to grab her was...personal.
"Commander Flemmon, please repeat your ship's Registration Number," I said. As she read it back, I set her encryption key and sent the prompt over.
"I don't know who you really are, but that was slick," Flemmon said as soon as the link opened.
"We don't have a lot of time. My name is Aurora Bael. I'm not—" I started, and instantly turned green. My ship started listing to port as I tried to steady myself. I dropped my fake Federal accent and for some reason that made it a little easier. "Zach Hudson can suck a fat dick!" I finally choked out. "We need to talk. Privately."
"Are you fit to fly?" She asked. Genuine concern in her voice. A second ago she thought I was going to try and arrest her. Now she's worried about my safety?
I realize I'm still slowly rolling portwise and center my stick. "Yes, I'm fine."
"No, you're really not."
"I found you, didn't I?" I snickered and pulled up a map of the system. "Got it. Follow me." I snapped on my wing transponder and low-waked to some gas giant moon a few hundred lightseconds away. We made atmo, dropped out of cruise side by side, and hit dirt within 200m.
"I'm coming with you," Barrett demanded, grabbing up his gear as I sealed my gloves and zipped up.
"No, you're not." I pulled the P-15 off of my belt and slid it back into the rack. My heart started racing immediately. I don't think I've gone anywhere unarmed for the last six years, but I had frightened the poor girl enough already. No sense making it any worse.
"Fucking why not?"
"Because in case I'm fucked, you have to scuttle the ship," I said. He was shocked. I was serious. He didn't protest, but I don't think he actually would have done it. Poor Mal... I really need to give this guy a raise.
The surface was cold, but beautiful. It was honestly soothing to stand beneath such a dazzling sky. I've never seen so many stars in my life. It almost made the nervous, hand-raised trek toward the CTAC Intrepid bearable. Hoping against all hope that I had read her right and she really was as friendly her logbook suggested. I know I had told some porkie pies when my logs were still listed publicly... Thankfully she isn't quite like me.
When she came down the ramp to meet me outside, it felt... surreal. I've been hearing stories of a 'little girl' disabling grown ass Hudson ground troops like they were nothing but... For fuck sake, she was more jacked than me! Very pretty, younger than I expected, bright purple lips that looked too good to be makeup. I knew she was trans from her log, but I hadn't realized how complete her overhaul was. Not that I'm one to talk about altering one's biology; I might be 20% alloys and silicon by weight. But I'm getting ahead of myself... God so much happened it's hard to keep it all straight.
"It's okay," she said "I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here... What should I call you? Aurora? Commander Bael?"
"Rory," I say hesitantly.
"Rory. It's nice to meet you. You can call me Lily. What is it I can do for you?" Her voice was soft, but confident and reassuring. It felt... Warm. Calm.
"I..." Instantly the words caught in my throat and bile flooded in. I swallowed it back and decided on a different approach. "I understand you know a thing or two about covert operations."
Her eyes widened in surprise as she cocked her head towards me. "I mostly do diplomacy these days, but I have, yes. Are sure you're okay? You really don't look well."
I wracked my brain for an angle of attack that didn't hurt and finally found one buried deep in an old book I read years ago. "Sometime in the middle of the 20th century, the precursor to the Federation began experimenting with creating supersoldiers that didn't know they were supersoldiers. They called it Ultra-something, I think. It was a huge failure. All they did was pump a bunch of people with hallucinogenic drugs and induced trauma responses. But then, that was the dark ages of neural research. They didn't know how to form memories or alter action potentials directly... Not like we do now."
Lily's lips pulled tight as she looked at me. "Okay... I think I understand. Let's get you inside."
We talked... For hours. It started out as a way to build trust. I told her what I knew about her and where from and told her as much as I could about my situation. I shared some details about my past. She told me about how Silas — her fucking dad, and I can't believe I didn't make that connection — brow beat the dirty merc lifestyle into her from the time she could walk and tried to mould her into a killer. Showed me the video of her using all that know-how to turn his head into mist after shooting out his canopy with an AR-50. It was way funnier to me than it should have been. I told her about Conrad... But not as much as I could have. Instead I told her more about what it was like to be owned, used, beaten, bloodied, maimed... How my HMI is still so buggy I have a phantom sixth digit on my left hand some days. And then she did something... Entirely unexpected.
Lily put her hand on my face, traced her thumb gently down my scar, and said "Rory... You didn't deserve any of that." It was... overwhelming. Too many memories rushing back all at once... I'll have to write about it later, it's too much. I told her all about it over dinner later that night.
She invited me and Mal — oh fuck, Mal! We realized we had left him on the Gambit, so I took her over to give introductions and the pair of them got along really well, too. Liked each other instantly. But maybe that's because she brought him more of that CTAC food he hasn't been able to shut up about since Chilton. It's like that's the yardstick by which he measures all food forever now. So when she invited the two of us to dinner on her restaurant ship that evening it... Fuck, I came into this looking for a very specific kind of help and I walked away with the start of a genuine friendship with someone. We just kept... Going. Talking about pain and triumph and trauma perseverance. And suddenly, out of nowhere, she offers to find me a place to live at Chilton Terminal. To be part of CTAC.
I...broke. I broke on the spot. Home has never been home. Friends have never been friends. Every time I've gotten comfortable there's always something fucking it up. Ever since Mum died... I had a hard time accepting the offer. She doesn't really know me. Hell, I don't even know me right now! I don't want to hurt any of them. Suddenly roll my goddamn eyes back and become another Silas Flemmon without even knowing or remembering it. And Lily reaches across the table and tells me that someone with my respect for life deserves a place to live and grow...
"I want to point out the deep irony of accusing a paid killer of respect for life," I managed to choke out.
And she just laughed. "Well there's no hiding basic empathy, and from what I've seen, there's no fucking way you're faking it. You may have found your first taste of freedom at the trigger of a gun, but you know damn well it tasted like expired fuel stop sushi. Just you wait until you're finally free to be the absolute fucking nerd that you clearly are at heart."
...I'm going to go. How I work that out while still doing my bit for the Navy and for Hudson, I'm not sure yet. But fuck it, I've dealt with far worse for far longer. Working with real geneticists, protecting something I can really believe in... And if they can help me with... Everything else? I think at this point I owe it to myself.
Lily said she'd use her leverage with the New Pilot's Initiative to let me hitch a carrier ride home. Philosopher's Respite is the name of it. I think I need some time to myself for a while before I can get on that ride. They say their next stop is Sagittarius A*. Barrett and I wanted to stop by there and have a look at the Galactic "sun" anyway... If we can do some life-hunting on the way? So much the better.
I think... I think I'm gonna be okay. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But having a place full of such...kindness where I can hang my hat feels...warm.
Here's to not fucking it up.
-RB