HorNet-News: Cosmic Comedy Unleashed - Earth Defense Fleet's Fishy Peace Treaty Leads to Pestilential Hilarity!
04 Sep 2023Lockjammer
In a galactic plot twist that could rival the most outrageous space sitcoms, the Earth Defense Fleet (EDF) recently entered into a peace treaty with the Far Suns Initiative. However, this treaty isn't just any ordinary interstellar accord; it's a comedy of interstellar proportions that has the entire galaxy in stitches.The treaty, hailed as the "Treaty of Anna Perenna," was supposed to signify a new era of peace and cooperation between the two factions. Yet, just two days after its signing, rumours began to spread that something was amiss. Whispers of strange smells, uncanny itches, and mysterious rashes started emerging from EDF settlements.
This is where the celestial hilarity truly begins.
Enter Pestilence, one of the infamous Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Ever curious and drawn to outbreaks of chaos, Pestilence couldn't resist the scent of astral calamity wafting from the EDF settlements. The Horseman donned a hazmat suit (well, a interstellar, space-themed version, naturally) and set forth to investigate.
What Pestilence discovered was nothing short of a cosmic comedy. It turned out that the "peace treaty" had an unintended side effect - it made everything it touched smell...fishy. That's right, the treaty was causing an outbreak of what some EDF members hilariously dubbed "Space Salmon Syndrome."
EDF Commander Niles Severin, in a fit of laughter, remarked, "We thought the treaty was a stroke of interstellar genius. Little did we know, it was actually a 'Scent of Sardines' bomb in disguise!". We just happen to keep the wrong copy on our settlements.
As the treaty's aroma grew more pungent, outbreaks of laughter (and a few actual outbreaks) spread throughout the settlements. EDF members tried to mask the scent with space deodorant, transcendent prevarication air fresheners, and even flamethrowers, but to no avail. The "Treaty of Anna Perenna" had turned into the "Treaty of Acrimonious Perfume."
Pestilence, meanwhile, couldn't stop chuckling from orbit. The Horseman of Outbreaks had a front-row seat to the cosmic comedy show.
As news of the hilariously faulty peace treaty spread, the galaxy erupted in laughter, with Thargoid and space faring species alike sharing jokes about EDF's ethereal calamity. Even the Far Suns Initiative couldn't help, but snicker.
Now, as the EDF scrambles to deodorise their settlements and find a way to salvage the treaty, the galaxy eagerly awaits the next episode of this interstellar sitcom. Will the EDF manage to clear the air, or will the scent of space salmon linger in their corridors forever? One thing's for sure - this cosmic comedy is far from over.