Alice, whats the matter: Looking into the Looking Glass
02 Feb 2023Willow Thorn
Bio-Scans collected 45Distance from Guardian site 2,391 ly
Power Plant Integrity 98%
So, it's time for this log thing. I guess I’ve been out for a few days now but like, I haven’t been keeping track of them. I mean, you wake up and like, you check the clock, and it tells you a time, but you have to know when you went to sleep to know if it’s a new day or not. And yeah, I haven't been checking the date either.
So, when you are out with nothing to do, you need to get on with something. Sitting in the cargo bay speaking your mind and carving a story won't cut it, you know? Like, that’s the thing you do after a day's work, right? I’ve read enough Explores logs to know what a commander is supposed to do, so I gave it a shot. Like, I’m no stranger to the FSS scanner and using it to find planets is way easier than looking for wrecks and distress signals, so I got into that with no effort.
The southern rim called to me for like, no reason whatsoever, but I had to go in some direction, so that was as good as any. With the tech trader FSD I’ve got, my D-Back is giving me up to 70 something light years a jump, so I got out of well travelled space real quick. But like, even over 1000 ly out, I’m still seeing as many explored systems as I am unmapped.
Whatever, I did cross paths with unexplored systems, and planets worth landing on. So I got a First Footfall alert from the Artemis suit as soon as I stepped off the boarding ramp and like, that’s worth documenting right?
Yeah, to be honest, that’s not the first footprint; That’s like, number 8 or something, but the first one was on gravel, and like the one in the image is still hard to see, but whatever, its documented.
So, most the time it's like, bacteria when your FSS says biological signal detected, but on this snowball, I found my first real plant looking plant, so I imaged that too. Like, one scan isn't enough for the bio lot, and like I get it you know? You got to draw from broad examples to get a real handle on a spices, so I guess three samples isn't really that much to ask, but it dose mean your using your ship like a sniffer dog right?
With this discovery and bio sampling thing being a bit new to me; because like, I never leave the bubble really. Like, if I do its to go to an outpost, and I don’t look at shit in between, I missed a signal that’s like, my bread and butter you know? A distress beacon. So, after seeing it on my nav list, I hit low orbit and hyper glided my way to the dark side of the moon.
I was like, not ready for how quickly I fell back into my routine for this scenario. I checked for active coms, stopped above the site before dropping in to check for ships using the beacon as bait, and then circled down looking for visual signs of life, and calling for a comeback on the coms. Like, nothing.
I mean, I didn’t expect someone to call back; we’re like in an uncharted system on and moon I only just mapped. So like, they had to try something I guess, but it was a scream in the darkness and the poor ass hole must have known it. On the way down, I’m seeing like, 8 standard cargo pods and a Condor with its nose buried up to the cock pit. So, a ship launched fighter didn’t drop the cargo, and given the pods contained drugs and guns, who knows what shady shit when down out here.
So I kit up in my maverick, and drop the SRV for a final check before I get out and inspect the wreck. So the only thing that tells me some one did survive the crash is the spent Power Reg sitting on top of the hatch. Man, the pilot lives through what ever, only to sit out here long enough to out last a reg. Wow. I looked for the body, but I guess they must have wondered off to die. They could have done that years ago for all I know about this place. I mean, I'd have liked to have done what I can for them; you know, as a mortician, and I'd have given them a page in the Book of the Dead. And hey, it would be nice to have some more company for the trip too.
But whatever I guess, so I took what I could use from the fighter, left the cargo and scanned the log wondering if the crash survivor felt like I did after my ordeal.
Last month.
Thorn Reclamation, Angel Station. Calhuacan
The Diamondback was under her name again, but Willow didn’t intend to get back to work. Before she was used as a bargaining-chip in someone else game, her Diamondback was geared up for salvage work with a mortuary on board. Everything she needed for her chosen professions. Now Wisp would need to be refitted for another task; putting some distance between Willow and people that would be looking for her, including her family.
As a scavenger, no, that’s what Willow called people that didn’t care about salvaging rights to what they found. As a salvager, Willow had plenty of parts and data to trade for pre-engineered components. Also, thanks to her primary job, Willow happened to be a regular visitor to the Tech Brokers in Sudi and Galti, so she got a bit of special treatment with the special FSD and surface Scanner she wanted for the refit. The work did mean she had to stay close to Calhuacan while parts were being made, so Willow went home to get the inevitable family visit out of the way.
Her mother had hardly stopped talking from the moment Willow walked it the office. “.. and you can work from the office until you feel ready for the field” said Willows mom fussing around the reception room.
Elowen, Willows youngest brother, leaned against the conference table out of sight of his mom mimicking his mother to entertain his sister. Willow was focused on her hand, opening and closing it, feeling the new bone under the discolored skin pushing against what was there before. She knew she shouldn't feel the artificially grown flesh and bone, but she could. Her mother continued, unaware Willow was not listening.
“You know, your little body recovery hobby got us some callbacks. Did you know that, Will? I think we can find some space in the second wear house if you still play around with that darling” said her mother assuming she knew Willows mind.
Hobby. Got the company some inquiries. Playing around with that? Knowing her mom didn’t mean to be condescending didn’t help, and Thorn Reclamation may have got their big family off an Asp Explorer, and in into some nice habitation units on Angle Station, but it would have been nice if her own mother would just say “What do you want to do darling?” and not mention the fucking company she was so proud of every five minutes.
Willow had heard enough and stopped paying any attention at all, she was feeling emotionally numb and completely uninterested in anything happening on this station. Her brother's clowning had no effect, and her mother's unintended belittling suddenly didn't bother her, and rolled off the shell of imagined fire and flowing blood that wouldn’t stop invading Willows mind.
The face of the woman that ambushed her on Descartes Corvette formed in the blood and pushed past the flames in her mind. The memory of pain from the elbow blows Willow received until she was knocked senseless, made her face throb and her nose feel like it was bleeding again. She had to do something to get rid of that horrible memory and the echoes of her imprisonment after.
".. then they will bring Bramble Barb back for you. How does that sound, sweetie?" asked her mother, looking at Willows big brown eyes.
"Umm, like yeah. Thats great" said Willow pretending she knew what her mom was talking about "So, I'm going to chill out in my room if thats ok? said Willow, and not waiting for an answer, she walked past the two people that didn't have a chance of understanding her right now.
When visiting an old colony that had become isolated for a few hundred years in its past, Willow came across a death ritual call the Bone Record. Important people would have their head removed after death, then their skull was chemically cleaned and polished before monk-like undertakers called Bone Keepers would carve the notable events, and achievements of the deceased into the skull, then seal it in resin to be used as a monument to the persons' life.
It goes without saying that richer people would make arrangements to have their entire skeleton prepared for carving, and every minor achievement, including something as petty as a 100 meters swimming certificate, was carved and inlay with precious metals onto the bones. Willow practised bone carving, and always intended to go back to get qualified as a Bone Keeper. Right now, she was carving a leaf patten into glass; a good way to practice keeping gentle pressure on the tool.
She wasn't concentrating, and the glass smashed. A shard found its way into her index finger and a drop of blood ran down, over her repaied palm and disappeared below the cuff of her blouse. Tears copied the drop of blood; they ran down her face, slowing at her neck, waiting for more tears to catch up. Crying in silence was new, but Willow didn't feel sad, nor was she really scared, but something was very wrong with her.
What ever was wrong, Willow wasn't going to fix it by going back to normal. The same job, with the same people that had treated her the same way they had always treated her, like a fragile little girl, wasn't going to help. She focused on the little crystal shard stuck in her finger and pushed it in a little deeper. It hurt, but the pain felt dull.
Willow couldn't deal with this, so she decided it was time to stop being Willow. She had to take the first steps, and act on the frame of the plan she had made or she would be trapped by the fear and helplessness that was ruling her life. She still had a few days for the Wisp to be ready, so Willow committed and placed a message on the board, then waited for a hacker to get back to her.
She could have called Maul. After all, he was the one that had taken Willow home after the explosive hostage exchange, and he was more than capable of doing the job, but it felt like a badly disguised call for attention. The last thing Willow wanted right now was a chance to show some weakness. If she let go of her self right now, Willow wasn't sure she'd ever get a grip again.
While she waited for the board to respond, Willow tried to think of a new name, a name that sounded like a woman strong enough to do what she felt needed to be done.