Logbook entry

Alice, what's the matter: Down the Rabbit Hole

07 Feb 2023Willow Thorn
Bio-Scans collected 115
Distance from Guardian site 2,095 ly
Power Plant Integrity 94%

The time? I don't know, I try not to look at the clock. The date? I don't care. So, I guess I've been out her for like a week maybe, and I can tell you exploration sucks. Like I'm not saying settlement reboots and loots was the best way to spend your day, but it did get the heart racing when there were raiders to kick off the site. All I'm doing out here is the same shit every system, and its busting my ass. If it wasn't for my visits to the cargo bay, a little sit down with tea and a bone to carve while I voice the shit that won't leave me alone, I'd have taken off my helmet and opened the airlock days ago.



Out here, that is what you do for like, 90% of the time. Point your ships nose at the floor and sniff around like a broken auto-vac until you happen to bump into something that needs a scan. So, I've logged over 100 plants, and I've seen less than 10 suitably different specimens. I've taken loads of pictures to like, put in the log for you guys, but its shit you've all seen in every log ever. Like, If I wanted to use pictures to get you to pay attention, I'd get way more traffic if I posed in my underwear for the camera.



Yeah like, I try to make it fun where I can right? I found yet another big Ozzy that was like, super solid so I jumped up inside to take a seat for a bit you know? While I was laying there with the low gravity keeping me in place, and a star that hadn't shone its light on anyone but me, I got that Alice feeling. You know like, your innocent and curious and exploring a new world of wonders. So I'm sitting in a giant mushroom thinking about taking a piece off each side and thinking about witch bit will make me grow so the mushroom will be normal size.



So that kept me happy for a while, striding over alien worlds saying "Curioser and curioser" when I found a plant that needed a scan, or like "I should think not" in that posh accent if I get that fuckin bio-diversity message. It also got me sitting in front of the synthesizer for a while printing out some material to make a dress and apron out of you know? Like Alice. That waisted a good few hours in the cargo bay. That distraction was much more interesting then hop, honk and scan scan scan. But you can't live in a dram world forever, like, no matter how much you want to, so I got back to the grind in the end.



I had my fill of heading south, so I raised the plane of the star map and headed straight up. I was still going at maximum range, covering 60 to 70 ly a jump, so it doesn't take me long to get anywhere. Like I was shocked by how soon I ran out of stars to visit heading up. So I guess the bubble isn't really at the centre of the milky way, and the Guardian sites are a little further out from the bulge too. So I shouldn't really have been have been shocked I only had one star left to reach a few hours after I decided to go up.



Its like, I had this black velvet blanket all around me with one point of light spoiling the darkness, so I had to go there so it wasn't in my way. You try to make everything.. like.. just so, but someone, or something always comes along to spoilt it right? And that stupid star, like 20 ly out of my range was doing just that. Like, I went to the cargo bay to vent, and on the way there, I remembered being told about Jumponium. Like it's not a thing, its just a mixture your synthesizer can pump into your FSD to get a little extra, you know, oomph out of it. So like yeah, I had me some of that, and made the longest jump I have ever taken.



So like, I made it here. I'm out on the top of the milky way looking up from a moon and like I know that the lights I'm seeing this time are other planets, so its cool you know; and hey, it actually makes a view worth sharing, and I didn't have to get my kit off to make it good. So I guess that's something worth coming the the roof of the galaxy for.



So I couldn't leave a system on the rim without looking at everything right? So I mapped, and visited every planet and moon it had to offer. Like, I had hopes of finding something unlike anything else I'd cross this far, but no, I got buttkiss to show for it until I took the buggy out for a little top up on the elements I had used. Like, its not gold, but damn that shine appeals you know? I got a steam-punk vibe, like copper and brass from it. I don't know what I'm gonna make the like, totally normal elements I'm calling Rim-Metal in to, but its going to be something cool.



So I'm at the top of the galaxy feeling good for a change. Like, I haven't needed to go to the cargo bay and shout for a while, so I guess I figured I'd keep the train going right? Down went the Star map, and I took a dive for the bottom of the galaxy. Why not right? I don't know how long it took, like I think I went to sleep along that way. I mean, I've fallen out of love with time, and I'm glad the white rabbit lost his pocket watch you know? Like, you can't be late if time doesn't exists, so chill out Mr Rabbit. Jeez.

Like. On the way down, I found my first ever Earth-Like world, and I came up with a name for it. I mean, shit, if I called it Fred Bloggs, it'd have a better name than the Earth-Like in my home system. So, I'm calling this one Wonderland, but I'll bet I have to add a number to the back of that. Can't have everything your own way I guess... unless a planet cracking weapon happens to the other Wonderlands.



So yeah, I made it to the bottom of the galaxy and found another star out of reach spoiling my inky darkness with its taunting light, so out came the Jumponium again. And yeah, I made the longest jump I ever took, again. I mapped and visited every planet again, and look up from a moon on the rim of out galaxy once more... . and that's it. No revelations about the nature of humanity; no musings of how tiny and insignificant we are, and no amazing discovery to blaze my name in the stars for ever. Like what ever, up we go again I guess. Like, all that distance covered, running around a warren of stars, and all I got to show for it is a post card, and ok, a planet I can name as long as I strap a load of numbers to the back of it. So I turned around and headed back to 0.00 in the galactic plane.

So I stick my head out the rabbit hole, and I am like closer to where I started about a week a go, with almost nothing to show for my time and effort. So far this trip has been just like my life; a bunch of running round trying to get shit done, with fuck all to show for it at the end.


Last month.
Thorn Reclamation, Angel Station. Calhuacan


Charging capacitors had a hum that Willow enjoyed, and the circuit she had built had a real nice sound when it was fully charged. The Dominator suit in the test area she constructed in her cargo bay stood unaided thanks to the test dummy inside. With the circuit charged, Willow flicked the switch to release the energy. There was a bang, like an explosion, and the acrid smell of burned metal followed the bright flash of man made lighting.

“Oh for fu..” muttered Willow.

She could see the suit's shield was still active; the readout on her wrist computer said 22% and the dummy inside would have nothing more than frizzy hair if it was a person. The unit had more than enough power to crack the shields, and stun the wearer in one go, but the problem was delivering the charge directly to the target. This ship security measure was going to need even more parts to be accurate and reliable, and that meant even more credits.

After the hospital bill, exploration ship refit and supplies, and hackers fee, the money Descartes had given Willow was almost gone. She still had about 200 million, but she’d need that, or possibly more soon.

"What you building Low?" said a mans voice close behind Willow.

Everyone called her Will, but only her dad called her Low. He'd started doing it because she didn't like being called Will, and she really didn't like all the pet names her dad had for her. She looked at her dad trying to make more then umm and ahh, come out of her mouth, but she didn't manage it. She'd been caught red handed. Her dad walked up to the cell sized cube Willow had built and started inspecting it.

"Oh, its a zap trap" said her dad with a smile inspecting the workmanship of his wayward child. "Your going to lose all the power over such a large area you know Low"

Willow was expecting a lecturer about what she could and couldn't do. Her dad had seen the trap, and had to know what Willow was planning. There was no way he'd let her go; little Willow can't do anything without the rest of the family the to bail her out when she fucks up.

"So, if we roll up some high voltage filament that deploys when your trigger goes off, and have them complete the circuit when they make contact with a shield or pressure suit, that'll get every volt to the target with very little fall off. I got some filaments we can roll in the warehouse some where"

With his hands on his hips, Willows dad looked around Willows cargo bay looking for inspiration on where he put those filaments, when he noticed Willows big eyes on him, and the rarely seen surprised O-shape of her lips.

"What? You think I flew my kids and my wife around this galaxy in an Asp, with out making it as safe as I could from unwanted boarders? You won't believe the shit I made to keep you guys safe" he said with a warm smile as he adjusted Willows jump suit.

His memory was filled with an army of kids running around their old Asp, getting in the way of everything, while he worked every waking hour to provide for, and improve the lot of his ever growing family. Willow was trying to reflect the pretrial care her dad was showing, she could see it all over his face, but she was still numb. Somewhere deep inside, that inability to return the love hurt her a little more.

All she could do was stand there patiently while her farther arranged the hang of the ill fitting jumpsuit so it looked less like a sack with sleeves on her.

"Look Low, like, I know your not my little girl any more, but its like Birch is still my little boy, and he's a fucking monster right?" said the older man. His smile making the lines around his eyes into deep creases.

Age was taking toll on her dad. He was fit, but he didn't believe in regenerative treatments; they were for his wife and men that didn't work for a living. Grey hair was winning the battel with the brown mop Willow remembered from her childhood, while worry and work was written on every inch of his hands and face. Over all of that, he still radiated unrestrained dadness; a quality that would still be as powerful when he was too weak to get out of bed. Right now, Willow grateful to feel that inner warmth, because her's had gone.

"So I guess your going to .. I 'd be like.." started her farther.

Taking a guess at what his little girl was going to get in to, and saying it out loud were very different. Once he said it, it was real, and that reality filled him with fear.

"Right now you are safe Willow" he said after a deep breath "Like what's happened has happened, and now its over. Its not fair, not right, but its is behind you. There's no need to get back into it you know?"

"Yes there is" said Willow quietly. It was a simple statement, but it hummed with dauntless determination.



Her dad had seen a face set very much like Willows before. Oak looked like that after raiders got Ash; and Oak didn't snap out of it until all of them had been hunted down. It wasn't a look that sat well on Willows pale features.

"Like, if you got you mind set on something, let me help you get a tool kit together for the job, right. Just don't tell your mom ok?"

They both knew that a wrench and and screwdriver wasn't what they were talking about, and her dad could build anything, so Willow accepted his help preparing the ship. Her dad was giving Willow the support she needed right now, she didn't have to know that Oak and Birch would be following her if she went through with some crazy plan. She would see it as the family interfering with her life, but to him, he was protecting his little girl from animals that had already hurt her.

A point of view is a funny thing.
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