Kingfisher - Raven's Log
26 Nov 2022SpeedsMcRonalds
It happened.I saw it coming from a mile away, but I was holding out some vague hope that maybe, just maybe, things would go differently. Maybe we make contact, talk to the bugs, make nice and stop whatever is coming before it's too late. But now thousands of people are dead, Chase is taking the brunt of the fire, and what do we have to show for all this effort? A torched megaship and the entire human race pissing in their britches over how royally fucked we are. And honestly, I can't blame them at all, who wouldn't be absolutely terrified right now? I mean, I haven't slept in... Skies, three days? Four? I'm losing track, I've been in this ship for weeks, I haven't even disembarked once in that time.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help Salvation, save humanity. That goes kaput right in my face, hell it blew up in everyone's faces. Help Azimuth rebuild with a big mining initiative, try to put the pieces back together to fight the 'Goids. Then it turns out the sons of bitches were doing some sick, twisted experiments on human beings to try to plug them into Thargoid ships and wound up frying their brains at best. Sign on with some anarchists I'd usually be blowing to bits to take the fight to Azimuth, and it barely put a dent in them... And now, the Kingfisher, I was mowing down pirates to keep them away from the other Commanders shipping supplies to those people... And they're all dead.
Survivor's guilt is a hell of a thing, and it's starting to pile up more and more. I've gone toe to toe with Interceptors, fought a Hydra with Grizzly and lived. All of the bounty hunting, merc work, and just... I'm still here. And I hate myself for it. I can't tell anyone else any of this, I just- Eden, you're a damn COVAS and you're the only one I can talk to. I'm going insane out here and all I can do is talk to my ship's computer and wax philosophical about all my awful decisions while I try not to think about the end of the human race hurtling towards us.
I'm going to go try to get some sleep. Probably going to need to just throw down some sleeping pills until I knock myself out. Gonna need all of the rest I can eke out, Taranis is going to be making its stop in the Bubble soon. I can't stop fighting now, not until this is all over, one way or another.