GoblinCreepypastaShop - One
17 Dec 2022GoblinCoffeeShop
*This is nonsense. Also, bad language.*You ever have one of those days that starts off normal…
Okay well, it wasn’t actually a normal day. I had just made my trip to Hutton. Didn’t even buy the mug, but did the tourist thing. Yeah the Thargoids are destroying everything too. My squadron is like “Ah! EMBER! Ah we win! Actually we lose because THARGOIDS EVERYWHERE.”
But like, pretty normal. Normal for 3308, normal. I was flying the Phantom back and wanted to stop by Qwent’s and lighten up the power plant, needed some mats. So I went to the trader a few systems away… normal stuff, right? And I walk into his office, like, “Hi Mr. Johnson, how are ya? Yeah, good. I mean, good enough, still vertical, can’t bitch...” yadda yadda. Looking at the catalogue, making some mat transfers. Normal.
And then he gets this weird look on his face, like.. I mean he had white eyebrows which always look weird, but it’s like he freezes. And at first I’m just kinda trying to be cool because I don’t want him to think I’m staring at these Whybrows. That’s when I realize the exchange is frozen too. Maybe he noticed first.
“Hey uh.. Thing’s locked up, I think.”
He’s not talking. I feel like… maybe he can’t talk? He’s definitely not okay. But he’s NOT FUCKING MOVING. Like…
You know like a corpse doesn’t move. But he’s still vertical. And I guess he can’t bitch, because he doesn’t say anything.
At that point I just decide I’m going to leave, not saying anything, just.. I’m out! And the FUCKING DOOR’S LOCKED. Corpseguy… standing up.. Whybrows.. Trapped here, hell no, I say! And I don’t really know what comes over me but I just grabbed the nearest copy of “Engineering: A Pilot’s Federation Companion Guide” and I just start… like… beating the door down with the thing. I hear myself making some kinda sounds, like I’m outside my own body, just, “yaaahsshfrahahagahh” when suddenly, from behind me…
“Commander…. Uhm… can I help you?”
I freeze. Huffing, the guide slowly lowering to my side. Cold sweat on my back. The door slides open.
What?
“Are you okay, commander?”
I turn to Whybrows.
He’s fine. Totally normal. Still vertical.
“[huff… huff…] Uh… yeah … just… what do you have as far as uh.. electrochemical arrays?”
I’ve started medication. I’ve also started taking the Engineer guide to the material trader’s office. Call it superstition, I don’t care. I have an irrational fear of white eyebrows and glitchy terminals and it just.. Makes me feel better to have it with me.