The Shuffle
20 Mar 2024Jacob Church
+++incoming message+++Jake! How's things going with the colonies? I hope the answer is "brilliantly" because there's new orders for you. Start your preparations to move position to that new colony, Wotsit will be heading out to replace you with his Azure fleet, and will be renaming his carrier to DH. You will rename to BtG. Yeah, I know. Total ballache but you know what PW Sr. is like...
Anyways... you've got a few weeks to sort everything out, Wotsit is still sorting out funds...I think Longshanks is sorting that out for him.
Stay Dangerous Cmdr!
+++message ends +++
"Ooooh that sounds fun doesn't it Jake"
Church read the message again. Then again. And for a fourth time, just to be sure.
"Bloody typical. I work my arse off settling these planets, and now the bosses son is taking it over?! Dammit." He threw the communications tablet across the ready room in frustration.
"Think of it this way Jake. You've done well and now all Wotsit needs to do is not fuck it up. And you can go and set up in this new colony...there's a new colony?"
"Apparently so, Comp. I wonder where it is...
[15:57]
+++incoming message+++
FAO Cmdr Church (eyes only/confidential)
Jacob, it's Paulie. Change of plan, old bean. I'm still coming out, transferring funds and taking your spot - great work by the way - but you're being recalled to HQ for a while before your next adventure. Can't have you having all the fun now, can we? O7
+++message ends +++
Jake stared at the cracked screen on his communications tablet and swore quietly to himself.
"Hey, you get to visit HQ Jake! That's good news, isn't it?" Chirped Comp.
"Not really Comp. Wotsit Sr's a bit of a dick, and he'll want to ride along while I'm in the bubble. Dammit, I thought being 20,000 light years away would get me away from all that 'politics' that he's up to his neck in. Aww maaaaan!"
Comp made what it thought were soothing noises, which only served to annoy Jacob even more...
1 February 2024
Jacob C Church/Paulie Wotsit — 01/02/3310 12:17
Jake waited on the concourse watching the hangar doors for Paulie to arrive, and when the doors slid open he laid eyes on the presumptive heir of the company.
Oh, you pretentious tw..
"Welcome to Distant Horizons Cmdr! So good to see you again, come on through to the ready room and get you up to date, there's been a few changes since your last visit"
It took 4 months to scrap the carrier you left behind...
+++
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU FORGOT?!" You came all the way out here, and you FORGOT? At what point did you remember? Halfway? When you entered the region? What? When you walked through the door two minutes ago? Well? WELL?!"
Jake was fuming. Not only had Wotsit forgot to bring the cargo he was supposed to bring for the colonies, he had brought a woefully unprepared carrier with him.
"Blood pressure is rising, pulse is 130. Calm down Jake"
"OH SHUT UP COMP!"
"Well, really..."
"And you, how are you going to fix your fuckup, Wotsit?"
Paulie stared at a 6 inch square of carpet, his face turning the same shade of bright red. He hadn't realised he had forgotten to stock the shipyard and outfitting until he'd been five jumps from GA, and the knowledge had made his stomach drop.
As for the cargo..there was cargo? Shit.
"I...I could nip over to Colonia...? For the shipyard and that...?" He questioned weakly.
Jake just looked at him, his right eyebrow raised.
"And the lavian brandy? The Bast Snake Gin? What about the Vicious Brew? Just going to nip to Colonia for them too? Just...just go away."
+++
2 February 3310
Jacob C Church/Paulie Wotsit — 02/02/3310 01:40
+++ message log +++
From: Jacob C Church
To: Paulie Wotsit Sr., Eddie Longshanks
Re:What the hell guys?!
Message as follows:
You can't be serious? You're sending this idiot to take over my colonies? You can forget that idea for a start.
He knew he was heading out here to take over operations, he knew he needed to be fully stocked and ready to go, and he forgot the cargo so hard he forgot he EVEN HAD CARGO!!
I mean, seriously, he can't be expected to run this place, don't let him ruin all this hard work we've done.
Seriously, are you taking the piss?
+++message ends+++
Jacob C Church/Paulie Wotsit — 02/02/3310 02:21
+++message log+++
From: Paulie Wotsit Sr.
To: Jacob C Church
Re: Re: What the hell guys?!
Jake.
Look, I know he's inexperienced at station admin and stuff, but he's proven himself further out in the black than you ever have, so wind your neck in, ok?
The man got his name on 12 neutrons in one day, for gods sake.
Anyways, you still need to bring DH back, she's in need of some repairs, and you, my friend, need a cutter. Let's see how the boy goes with your month or so on leave running things, then we'll talk, ok?
Fly Dangerous, Jake o7
+++message ends+++
[02:23]
+++message addendum:+++
P.S. At least you can get all that rare booze he forgot
+++end message+++
27 February 3310
Jacob C Church/Paulie Wotsit — 27/02/3310 01:46
+++Ships Log 27.02.3310+++
Jake slammed his fist on the desk. "Dammit Wotsit! Where the hell are you?! I was supposed to have been there and back by now and there you are, f...mucking about in colonia then vanish for 2 weeks? What are you up to, man?"
Wotsits holo-me at least had the sense to look embarrassed before a static-laden voice replied "Look Jake, it's not my fault the jumpdrive failed, and it's not my fault it took Brewer 10 days to get some techs here. Just like it's not my fault I was bloody sent out here in the first place"
"Just...oh shut up with your bleating! It's about time you took responsibility for your own fuckups. You're supposed to be taking over the business when your father finally retires, and the way you're going, you'll destroy it. Get the hell back here asap, I've got stuff to be getting on with. End call, Comp."
There was barely a chance for Wotsit to look surprised before his image blinked out.
"Feel better now Jake?" Questioned Comp.
"No. Yes. A bit. Damn him Comp!"
+++log ends+++