Lock and load, and live in the moment
13 Nov 2023D'ko
As I turn my back on the desk with today's plans sorted, a loose thought enters my brain: how the frack did I end up here? I realize I don't use this logbook much. Guess I never think to write down what's on my mind. It would have been nice to know what I was thinking on my path to this place. At the moment, I just think it's what I do.
I stare at the bench with another traveller waiting for the shuttle. Should I sit or stand? If I sit, my ride will be ready. Since I'm already geared up, I decide to stand, and it's the right choice as I'm alerted that my ride is ready. That was quick. This must be urgent. I stroll into the elevator and take it up to the launch pad.
My mind heads back into history as I make my way aboard. It's been less than I year since I first crawled out of my home gravity well and shrugged into a flight suit. I started exploring the unknown to run from my past. I found I really liked cataloging plants, especially in unexplored systems. Luckily, the scientific community pays VERY WELL for this data, and I found myself a billionaire after a few trips. More trips, more billions.
"Welcome aboard Commander," says the pilot.
I give the nod of gratitude and acknowledgement without a word and take my seat, automatically strapping in without thinking about it.
With a fat wallet, I then began buying different ships. So many, I ended up with a fleet. The only logical next step was a fleet carrier itself. Why not? What else did I have to spend those billions on?
With the carrier and all my ships, I again jumped out into the black, several times. The last big trip, I flew all the way to the Galatic South, visiting the Formidine Rift on the way home. The view from the Galactic Rim was awe inspiring. Surrounded by black, with views of galaxies I will never visit in my lifetime, I stared back at the heart of our own home.
I will traverse the entire galaxy before I die. Beagle Point will see me.
But before I run all the way there, I headed back into the bubble. At one of the first backwater settlements I ran into, I was enjoying some random encounters around their cheap, dingy bar. The pilot to my left and I had been swapping stories, as you do. About half-past drunk, she turned to me and asked what my combat experience was.
"None. I just hit the booster until I can hop back into supercruise."
I'll never forget her stare. Instantly sober. It would freeze a quasar. "You...you need to get some experience. Seriously. You have no business flying around this universe without knowing how to defend yourself."
The next several hours were a shocking enlightenment of all the trouble she had seen, fought through, and survived, mostly. Some wins, some losses, some resurrections. We might have gone through 2 shifts of bar tenders.
I thought I could just leave when a bad situation popped up. I learned about aliens that could rip you out of hyperspace. The large pirate factions. Gankers with no sense of honor that will kill new pilots just for laughs. Entire systems where no one is your ally. Politics. All of it chilling.
That rotation, I didn't catch a wink of sleep. I was a scared animal stuck in flight mode. I can't remember that old commander's name, but I can never forget those steel eyes.
I flew to the nearest shipyard and started outfitting a ship able to not only defend itself, but to hurt. I ran small missions, trying to ally with the 3 big political powers. Then bigger missions, cranking up my reputation to qualify for their best ships. I removed pirates and turned settlements back on. I bribed every engineer I could find, which required a lot of work catering to their habits/addictions. Whatever, just give me your tech.
Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of my dream and just saw mountains to climb. Everywhere, all at once. One goal after another. Stronger. Faster. Better gear. And I figured out how to cope with it all.
Live in the moment.
I know, I know...I'm not the first to "discover" the philosophy. Hell, I've heard it too many times to remember where. But it just hang true one day.
Be here. Now.
You have but one task.
It helps me focus on the situation at hand. Sure, I can wander the mindscape with the beat of them. But when the green light turns on, the mind sharpens on the skills required and all else falls away.
Drop into a conflict zone. Pick your side. Paint a target red. Engage. At some point, all the targets are gone and the brain can disengage.
There is a clarity to this mindset I find comforting. Nothing matters, but the now.
I realize it's not the best way to long-term plan, but it suits the situations I find myself in. Will I get to Sag A*? Beagle Point? You bet, but not today.
I hear the pilot call out, "Entering dropzone."
My mind clears as I quickly perform my last check to make sure I have the right gear and that I'm fully stocked.
Then another voice crackles into the helmet, "Welcome to the battlefield commander."
Lock and load, and live in the moment.