Going Home: Extended Family (9)
28 Jun 2023Vasil Vasilescu
It has been a few weeks since I arrived on Emerald. In that time, I’ve spent long days and nights developing the business logistics for Octavia’s plan to bring imperial citizens fleeing Thargoid attacks to Emerald. She is as driven as ever, always thinking on a grand scale, and impatient when reality does not keep pace with her ambitions. For as much as she frustrates me with her impossible timelines, I have to recognize that she excels at organizing the extended family and delegating to people responsibilities that cater to their skills. She knows the limits of each person’s ability and the best way to push them so that they overcome their limits; two traits well suited for the head of a noble family.
With so many in the extended family, I have no idea how she manages to remember them all. Yet, she knows them all.
Spending so much time alone, wandering the void, I was not ready for how large the family had grown. I’d not given any thought to starting a family of my own since Rachel left, and after so many years it was no longer an important part of my life. Not so for my brothers and sisters who now have adult children, and even a few grandchildren.
Octavia is twice divorced, has two children, both boys, and now has five grandchildren. Her oldest son is driven, like her, but with an arrogance that comes with knowing he will one day inherit the family fortune.
My brother and sister, Cezar and Luna, killed fighting the Thargoids, each had three children. Luna’s youngest daughter is turning twenty-one in a few days. She maintains a brave and proper façade of pride in her mother’s sacrifice, but I can see cracks that reveal pain underneath.
Stefan only has one child--legitimate child, that is--who is a Lieutenant Commander in Imperial Navy. The hedonism of Stefan's younger days means there are probably more than the two other illegitimate children he acknowledges to be his.
Of us all, Elena has been the busiest. Five children, seven grandchildren. She is still married to the man she met at University, and lives at one of the ski resorts she and her husband own.
And then there are the innumerable cousins, family friends, and former slaves like Ioana and Andrei who exist as sort of honorary family, and to whom the younger family members affectionately refer to as Aunt and Uncle.
Then there is me. Because I have no children, no wife, or ex-wife, there are times I cannot help but feel out of place in such a large family. At social events that Octavia hosts, and to which I am obligated to attend, the question of family eventually comes up during small talk with strangers. Sometimes, there is an awkward silence after saying I have no wife or children. It is as if I have broken some rule of High Imperial Etiquette regarding polite conversation and they are usure how to react.
Moments like this have me again wondering about the what-ifs of life. What if Rachel had not left; what if I had the courage to tell her what she meant to me; what if we had made a life together. For one, there would be no awkward silences during small talk. But the time of what-ifs making a difference is past and there is no going back. There is only going forward with the question, "What now?"