Logbook entry

A Penchant for Weirdness

14 Jul 2024Jana Razeki
"Was it strange to give myself a body - or, more accurately, shape - as disproportionate as the one I went for? Maybe. Some people would probably call me insane for it, but I embraced my own insanity a while ago, already. And I couldn't be happier from it. Plus, I catch them staring just as much as everyone else."

Some time in late June ...

It'd been a month... two, even, maybe, since I'd been here - my home system of Lhou Mans, more specifically the Webb City station in it... until the world it orbited became habitable, anyway. At which point I'd probably get myself something down there.

For now, though, the little spot I called home on this starport - not much more than a metal rectangle cut into an interior section of the workers' ring, with basic amenities - would do. Approaching the station, it was fairly evident the signs of recovery from the Thargoid occupation of the system were pretty much gone, bar maybe one or two missing solar panels, here and there. Nothing particularly critical to the station's function. My absence, mostly due to supporting defensive efforts around Titan Raijin, and more recently, my surgery adventure.

I gently brought the Krait into the docking bay - request sent prior, of course - and wasted no time getting it down into the hangar so I could get out. I left the Maverick suit in the ship, wearing only my regular apparel, carrying a bag of clothes, slung over the left shoulder and hanging down the right side of my body. The 'loot' of my shopping tour which I needed to do for adequate clothing to my new body... didn't get very far before I heard a comment regarding that shape.

"Hey, Jana. Haven't seen you around in a while.", came at me from somewhere to the left, with an enthusiastic tone. "And you're looking... pretty different."

I threw a look in that direction. Just one of those people that I 'got along' with, without being a friend or anything closer, but a familiar enough face to make me stop and turn. Even if I couldn't remember the name.

"Yeah! Look great, don't I?", I replied, posing a little to highlight my curves, clearly visible even with the bag that I carried.

"Well, it certainly suits you. I can say that. Might be a bit much for my tastes, but you seem to like it. So who am I to judge?"

I winked at him. "Oh, you bet I like it."

That was that exchange. Short, but for me, quite satisfying. As was the way over to my cozy little spot, which earned me quite a few views, and also comments on the way, some of those positive, some of those not so much, and I enjoyed both of them greatly. One because it was nice to hear people appreciate my body, and the other because it was quite amusing that my provocative, curvy appearance managed to upset some people, that had no reason to be upset over it. Or not a good one, anyway. And the positive gazes, nods and comments seemed to outnumber the idiots, for once.

As I went, I also kept an eye out for any familiar looks... but nobody that I really cared or wanted to see appeared in the crowds. Which, themselves, looked a lot 'emptier' than they used to be prior to the arrival of the Titans. I really wondered how many had actually returned, out of those that had survived and escaped the initial Thargoid onslaught, or maybe even were recovered by a few daring rescue forces while the system was under Thargoid control. The system and its infrastructure had returned to the way it used to be, but was it really the same?

I shook off the thought when I reached the door to my 'room', of sorts - wasn't sure if I could really call it even an apartment, even if its small size worked for me - and placed my hand on the scanner right in front. Maybe it wouldn't work quite as well, now, when my body took up more space... but I'd mostly just have to be mindful around my backside so that it didn't go knocking into stuff too much. I dropped the bag of clothes on the table and opened it up, putting the stuff from it into the appropriate drawers at my own pace, keeping it separate from my older ones.

I couldn't wear those now, but still wanted them around for the memories... and, thanks to me not being the type of person to hoard a hundred different shirts, pants and sets of underwear, most of which never got worn, I had more than enough space to keep the old stuff. I also managed to hit and nearly knock over a chair with my rear side. Because it was the only part that exceeded its previous clearance distance in a way that I had to relearn it, since prior, I had to ensure my shoulders hit nobody and the hip width stopped there, only the thighs going slightly further out.

"Now I know how she feels.", I muttered to myself. "Still need to work on that ..."

'She' being that one friend of mine called Kasumi, or, at least, what she wanted to be called was that. And I still didn't quite understand how she'd managed to get herself out of hand so much but still be totally fine with it. If I already has occasional issues with bumping into stuff, I didn't want to imagine what it had to be like with those hips of hers that were probably nearly twice as wide as my own now... nevermind the breast. Mine already felt heavy at something around 2.3 kilograms, and hers were... still much larger. This 'ground' I had right now was pretty much perfect for me, though, so didn't really need to worry about the idea too much. And she did look pretty good in it, despite being so oversized.

I sat down on the sofa facing the TV monitor after that, entertaining the mildly amusing, if unlikely, idea, of still finding an imprint left in it by Kasumi when she'd sat in that. But, of course, there wasn't. Instead I got to leave my own in it, until the fabric took back its shape. And just looked at some news. Of course, front and center on the headlines, Indra still getting pushed back with projections to be vulnerable in early July. Couldn't give less of a shit about it, certainly right now. If at all, because that Titan was nowhere close to here, nor would it get the chance to push out that way. None of the remaining ones would since, apparently, they were preparing something, and had apparently switched to a purely defensive focus over attempting to push outward.

As long as it didn't threaten anything near this local Titan wreck any further, I didn't care too much, though, even if I did still support further defensive efforts, to reduce the chances of that happening, as much as possible. Rest of what I saw was equally not that interesting, so I closed off news again and went to the bathroom, instead, just to look at myself in a mirror. Sometimes, I'd even find myself contemplating to wear that slightly tighter stuff I'd been given by the hospital just to have something adequate to wear, because it highlighted the body's shape much more. And I really did just love how damn curvy I was now.

A yawn suddenly escaped my mouth, prompting me to check the time. Seemed like it was getting late, so I decided it was a good moment to throw myself into the shower, after dealing with other bathroom necessities, and then... look at the bed situation, first. The bunks did look a little constrained now, with my enhanced 'frame'. And I'd made the experience of sleeping in low gravity that there was a certain gap beneath my spine now, thanks to a certain mass lifting it quite a bit more than it used to. Which, in turn, also affected my seating experience... by making for its own cushion, but also raising me up a bit, often requiring light adjustment on the part of the seat for me to be sat how I was used to it. Unfortunately, the chairs I had here, or the ones at the table, weren't adjustable. Nor was the table. I'd have to get around that, one way or another. Or just get used to it.

For now, the bed situation mattered more. That gap beneath the waist would be an issue - it was perfectly tolerable in a .1G enviroment as docking bays presented it, but the ring with habitation quarters of an Orbis starport, which had about half of Earth's gravity... I couldn't quite ignore it here, as I found out when laid down. Nor did I want to wake up with a sore back, so I had to figure something out. Improvised, since I didn't have any sort of dedicated solution to it, right now.

My eyes fell on the lower bunk's pillow... the one I had always used, in case an agitated dream caused me to roll out and drop on the floor. Less chance of a bad knock on the head. Rolling was also a 'pain point' due to that same gap between waist and bed existing now, except maybe even worse, so I kind of had to sleep on my back, and tolerate the extra weight on my chest. Hadn't been an issue, so far, unlike when I'd lay on my side and it'd get dragged down to that same side.

But that pillow had reminded me of an interesting, equally improvised, and not exactly steady solution I'd seen elsewhere... that being, my friend Kasumi's bedroom in her spot on Duamta 4, said solution being a pillow tower construction. Which was as ingenious as it was comical, matching her absurd shape in the latter regard. So I decided to try the same here. One pillow, borrowed from the sofa, wasn't quite enough, so I helped it with a second one. Then a third one underneath the chest, just to get it lifted up a little and divert the weight away from the lungs, at least some.

This bunk suddenly felt a little constrained with those 'adaptations', though they did work. And, annoyingly, I couldn't really roll around like I wanted to without messing up the pillow construction. Which then made me have to right it again, resetting my brain's shutdown level, or at least pushing it back some when I wanted it to turn off.

I sighed and just got back out of that sleeping space, flipping out the bottom section of the long sofa instead - something that I'd also had there for those nights where I couldn't fall asleep in the bunk, and it seemed today was one of those. Of course, I rebuilt my own pillow support for the upper body there, and borrowed the bunk one for the head. That was much better, though, I still really had to resist that temptation to roll around. Which, itself, was a bit more awkward due to the - added - offset, of my hips and rear half, from the center... another thing to get used to, and a bit more annoying because I really liked to roll until I settled into the best pose for the night and dozed off.

Was it weird to have those 'problems'? Probably. But then, I was weird, and had always been, going the extra step of really embracing it with that surgery turning me from 'well-proportioned' into 'extra curvy, at the edge of the reasonable'. But I did just loved this, the shape, and the rather odd issues and 'challenges' it brought with it... because it was something that made me happy, and I needed more of that in my life.

Or maybe just wanted more of it. And this 'size' for my body, it was definitely right in the 'perfect' zone where I had basically no issues with it. Aside from the adaptation period to having fifty percent larger breasts and, possibly, doubled hip size, but what was ever a "perfect" solution?

Author's note - so, yes, not a whole lot of anything important really happens in this one, I just felt like writing it to follow up on the surgery fun Jana had in the last/previous entry, before starting off something... a little different, let's just say. You'll know it when you see it.
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