Resisting the Easy Way Out
07 Nov 2016Kyla Emmerich
Previous LogIs it just me, or is time really, really dragging on? Surely I must be almost there by now! I still have…
745 lightyears to go?! Are you fucking kidding me?! How is that even possible?! It feels like weeks since I changed course!
Okay Kyla. Calm. It’s not that far, really. It’s just a few… That self-destruct button is looking so inviting right now. Just… One click and all my problems are over.
No! What the hell am I thinking?!
Arghh! I just can’t bear the thought of being out here much longer! God, I’d kill just to have someone who isn’t a toaster ask me how my day is going, or tell me I look pretty, or… A hug would be nice right now. Hell, even a goodie two-shoes telling me I’m a terrible person would be better than this!
Sorry, Boomer. No, you’ve been great, really, but it’s not the same. You understand right? Don’t be like that. You wouldn’t even exist if I wasn’t so goddamn isolated and you know-
FWOMP
Oh shit! That’s a star! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Jesus christ, please don’t spark like that! Oh yep, that’s smoke. God damn it. I really am not in the mood to be cooked alive right now! Come on Moon Shot!
Okay… Okay… That was close… We’re in witchspace again. Deep breaths. I am still alive right?
I still have a pulse. Okay.
Shit. That’s what I get for not paying attention.
After that I need a- oh are you serious?! It’s all over the floor! Fuck! That was my last bottle!
Does anything else want to fucking go wrong?! Come the hell at me! I can take it! I can definitely take it!
No I can’t. I can’t take this anymore. I could just press the-
No! I’ve already been through this! Besides… If I self-destruct out here, I’ll never see my brother finish school, or be able to give him the space rocks I’ve been collecting for him, or see Mum eventually get married to that boyfriend of hers.
Oh man. He is so nice. She made a good choice, that mother of mine, especially since she typically had pretty shocking taste in men, like that time she went on a few dates with that Smurf guy. What a shit-show he was. It was all "Aisling this," and "stop slavery that!" What a creep. Oh, and she shagged my father. What the hell was she thinking there?
Hah, but then again, she’d never have had the coolest daughter ever if she didn't shag him, so, silver lining I guess?
Shut up, Boomer! I’m allowed to talk myself up once in awhile! Oh? Jealous are we?
Sigh. Don’t be jealous of me. You’re not the one who had the bright idea to take a 23 kylie trip with no long distance exploration experience what-so-ever. Yeah, smart move, Kyla! If I make it back home, I’m staying on Valhalla for a few weeks.
People at the pilot bars always talked about how glorious it was to head out of the Bubble. “Blaze your own trail,” they’d say. “Go where no man, woman or child has ever been before!”
Yeah, well you know what? Fuck that! No one ever talked about the cabin fever, or the crippling loneliness that comes with being stuck inside a metal can far away from everyone you care about. Sure, there’s some really pretty things out there, but they're not worth being so god damn miserable.
Oh, and just to make things worse, I have run out of yellow ration bars. Yup, they’re all gone. The best flavour… Gone. I have every colour but yellow. Go figure.