Coronation Crashers 1 of 3 - A Grand Entrance
15 Jan 2016Monolith Preacher
I began last cycle by sitting down to some Mulachi Giant Fungus on toast for breakfast, with a nice mug of Tanmark Tranquil Tea sitting in my Hutton Mug. I was reading through my messages of the day, and suddenly choked on my food. I jumped up and began to change. Orpheus had just messaged me to say I'd been invited to a coronation at midday, and it was already eight o'clock. I had to make it for Achenar to Kamadhenu, and I had to look ship shape. I was being made a prince.I made it to Couper Hub with half an hour to spare, and was directed by Clancy to a waiting room decorated in the standard imperial style. Everything was made of marble and roman eagles abounded. Busts of previous rulers and heroes of the Empire filled the walls next to tapestries of the Empress, and there was space for about eight people to sit down in a room that could easily have fit thirty. That being said, the was was quite comfortable, but it didn't feel like cow leather...
Orpheus interrupted my musings by emerging through the door to the main function hall. I could never quite get over how tall they made them. Obviously they had to be a foot thick for security reasons, but I can't imagine they'd made a palanquin that high.
"You made it on time, I see, and that is well." Orpheus glanced briefly about the room, nodding briefly to Clancy's hulking form behind the reception desk. "I wish the same could be said of your next of kin."
I looked baffled, and drew breath to speak, but was cut off ere i had the opportunity to do so.
"I am here as your Imperial liaison to o'ersee proceedings. This process requires a next of kin, and I spoke with your superior about this subject. He expressed in most assured terms that your brother would make due haste to the ceremony. This was last night, and he has still not arrived."
I dreaded to think how many bars Hammer had time to hit between Gcirthi and here, assuming that was even where he was. I hadn't seen him since I left for the GIMPP. This was due in part to my shell shock upon return, but in main to my current state of slavery. I mentioned none of this, but instead listened to the faint humming I could hear from a light by the door I had entered from. Orpheus apparently also noticed the sound, and motioned to Clancy that he should abscond into the function room.
The entry door opened and two Imperial stormtroopers backed through, firing their assault rifles down the corridor as the door closed for them.One turned and began speaking to Orpheus.
"You've got to go! I've never seen su-"
His sentence stopped dead as he fell to the floor, a hole the size of a watermelon melted through the door behind him. Orpheus holstered his pistol and turned, expressionless, to the other stormtrooper.
"You will address me as Sir and tell me what is going on. This is a coronation, show some decorum!"
The remaining stormtrooper finished reloading his weapon, but did not speak. The door exploded behind him and fell off its hinges instead. Where he stood, now stood Hammer Time. On top of his head. On top of the door. In a loincloth. With a plasma accelerator under his arm he'd dragged from the docking bay.
"Greetings, brother! I've had one Truck Stopper every jump here, and stored one shot for you from each one!"
Orpheus grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and dragged me into the function room before I had time to retort. I heard the doors lock behind me, but it didn't give me much reassurance. An Imperial function room was a good half mile long, and although there appeared to be two Couriers docked in the obligatory open hangar at the back, we'd have to reach them before Hammer blew us up.
As we ran towards the dock, I could see Clancy's hulking frame darting between consoles as his tiny piglet fingers typed out launch commands at a rate of knots. Orpheus was shouting expletives so ancient even I didn't know half of them, but I'll have to ask him what a narwhal is. I jumped in the left ship, whilst Clancy took Orpheus in his lap in the right. I'm surprised they both fit in the cockpit, as I'd've shoved him in the boot, but I'm not getting paid by the guy.
As we engaged launching protocol, a shot seared down the hall, taking out my ship's shield in one hit. We managed to get out of the station, but heard Hammer over the voice comms as we engaged our hyperdrives.
"Springheel Jack sends his regards, and I'm taking your Asp to come find you!"