Logbook entry

Breaching Point (1)

31 Jul 2016Ryan Murdoc
"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." Walter Anderson


"I never thought it possible. But here I stand.

No. Sit. And cry.

Tears of rage.

Of disgust.

Of passion.

Of remembrance.

She made me remember. She broke the seal of my heart. My brain.

She is the catalyst. Unexpected. Gentle.  Brutal.

Ripping everything apart with the force of a thousand Supernovas."




Those were my thoughts. Trying to piece all together, although I knew perfectly that it happened, my conciousness rebelled and demanded to go through everything again and again. And so I did...

=====================================================================================================================================

From the very beginning, I was intrigued by her. What man wouldn't have been? Starting with her hourglass figure, then the soft yet compelling voice, topped off with just the right amount of shyness; when in her presence every man quivered with desire. Including myself, because flying around for such a long time and not letting steam off now and then makes for a very unbalanced person,.

So I was just one of many that flirted with her or made some less than appropriate remarks about her very attractive looks. She always replied in a playful way, making one believe she'd encourage further advances.

But that's what us guys think all the time when our hormones are out of balance, and we only see and hear what we want to. To get to our goals and satisfy our own needs. Evolution didn't really do a good job in that department to be honest.

So obsessed I was with her that I didn't see the obvious, didn't hear what I should've. Blind as a mole as they say.

Two days ago, as I was wandering about on Greeboski's, I ended up in a shady part of the Station. Even though we drove the Dulos Hand Gang out of Phiagre months ago and successfully prevented any other criminal organisation rising to power, there were places where this kind of people still lurked. Bars, Strip clubs, the usual.

I came across a darker alley to one of those establishments, the place reeking of urine and other unpleasantries. The flickering red neon sign barely managed to light the area up enough to walk safely across without tripping over piles of dirt and trash. I was almost past the place as the door leading inside opened up, and some poor chap was roughly complimented outside by two others. As he flew over and into the opposite wall, I overheard one of the guys yell

"Next time we won't just play with you, bitch. Next time you're done for, you get that?"

I stopped dead in my tracks, glancing over to the voice. The only thing my eyes were able to catch was the reflection of a big golden earring before the door slammed shut.

Hesitating for another moment, I finally went into the alley, trying to avoid the grime or at least not to topple over and fall face first into it. After a few more steps, I came across the person that had been kicked out.

Lying there, crying, was CMDR Miss Martian. What once must've been a very expensive evening dress hung in tatters, and even with just the scarce lighting it was obvious she'd been through hell.

"Miss Martian...are you hurt?" I could've slapped myself in that very instant. Naturally she was hurt.

"I'm fine thank you, just taken a little tumble, may I borrow your jacket please to cover myself up?" her voice was a mix of her tears and pain but also something else. Something that made my hair stand on end.

Trying to get Security in this part of the Station was seemingly impossible, lucky for her the nearest place to get medical treatment wasn't too far. Upon arrival, I stated how urgent it was to examine Miss Martian and that possible evidence should be secured for further investigation. The nurse and doctor went on, and I took a seat and waited. And stood up again and walked around. And sat down again.

It wasn't even twenty minutes after our arrival when the nurse returned, informing me that Miss Martian just accepted some pain medicine and had her obvious injuries treated, but refused to have a more thorough examination of any kind. She currently was taking a shower and would receive some fresh clothes.

I stood there, not believing what I just heard. Showering meant destroying any possible lead to have those who abused her put into custody and brought before a proper court. Unless naturally they'd confess, but that wasn't bloody likely. And knowing the area, nobody would've seen anything or everyone would have an alibi.

The nurse was about to go on her way, when I held her back and asked what type of injuries Miss Martian endured.

"There's bruising on her neck, wrists and legs. She got scratches on her abdomen and breasts. Bite marks in several places. And the quick drug scan showed she was exposed to some kind of knockout drug. She refused further examination as I said, but it doesn't take much imagination what happened to her. I'm sorry, I have to tend to another patient now. Good day Sir" she stated in a tone that was a bit too calm for comfort.



I took several deep breaths, closing my eyes, trying to stay calm. It wouldn't help anyone if I'd went into a rage now. There be time for that, later.

After another 30 minutes, Miss Martian came back, dressed in a plain white longsleeve shirt under my jacket, blue jeans and white sneakers. She stood before me, eyes cast down, hair still wet. Silent.

"CMDR Miss Martian, please follow me. We need to properly file this assault so that the assailants can be found and held responsible." I let out, knowing pretty darn well I'd do anything but ask her sterile questions about what went down. Yet I had to keep up a semblance of professionality throughout the whole ordeal while in public space.

As we arrived at the docks, particularly the one where the Umbra Vorago was situated, I got a confused look from her side, but nothing else. She quietly shuffled up the ramp and inside, following my lead.

I led her into what I called my Lounge, though it didn't consist of anything else so far then two big black leather couches and a small rectangular table in the middle, made of orange-red Painite.

"Please be seated, I'll be back momentarily with something to drink. Would you like a hot tea or coffee? Or hot chocolate maybe?"

She placed herself in a corner of one of the couches, absentmindedly pulling up her legs to her chest and wrapping her hands around them. I was about to repeat my question as she answered in a silent voice, bereft of any type of noteable emotion

"Skinny peppermint hot chocolate, no cream please..."

I went on and got the requested drink for her, and myself some camomile tea. Not that that would calm me down much but it was the only sensible option for now.

I put both tea and hot chocolate on the table, while she continued to stare in the middle of the room, seemingly lost to her surroundings.

I placed myself on the opposite couch and took a sip, burning my lips due to being focused on her and not paying attention. But the pain helped to get my mind back into the here and now and not dwell on what I'd do with the persons who caused this woman so much agony.

We sat there for at least ten minutes or more, no sound to be heard but our breathing. Then, she looked at me and whispered

"I apologise for causing a nuisance, here's your jacket Coragon, I'll take my leave as I've a few things to sort out." and rose to her feet.

"What....wait,you can't just...I won't allow... I exclaimed, voice rising.

And then those teary eyes of her locked with mine. And I stopped in my speech, closing my mouth. After another moment, she continued walking.

"Please my dear Martian, don't do anything rash. Promise me to come back to talk when you're ready ok?

For a moment the footsteps stopped. And then continued and faded away.

After a while of simply standing around, I went to the nearest computer panel and wrote CMDR Miss Martian what I couldn’t tell her. But what I needed her to know, regardless of the outcome.

"Here are my words for you, dear Lady Martian. Read and know: you’re not alone. Not as long as I live."

Your frame battered and bruised
mind torn because you accuse
yourself, so you wanted to be used
as ragdoll to bear a bruise

The pain inside screaming out
turned it into physical torture
Punishment without a sound
from your mouth to serve as rapture

Tears. Blood. Guilt. Shame.
these are the things you feel
claiming you're completely insane
betrayed by life and Fortune's wheel

My hand wants to hold you
my lips kiss away the sorrow
my feelings for you being true
my body close to yours in the morrow

Sad angel that you are
You never said your name
Trust me, a stranger from afar
to never let you fall again

Unless you tear my heart
from my chest and throw it down
I'll be there to thwart
what happens when you frown

I love You, not only your frame
coming from the depth of my soul
where my demons lie in chain
so they never let me run afoul






To be continued...
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