Sors
16 Sep 2016Ryan Murdoc
"I can control my destiny, but not my fate. Destiny means there are opportunities to turn right or left, but fate is a one-way street. I believe we all have the choice as to whether we fulfil our destiny, but our fate is sealed." Paulo CoelhoGreeboskis's Outpost. 16th September 3302. My apartment.11pm.
"So what's this you want to talk about that couldn't wait until tomorrow?"
I stepped back from the entrance to my apartement, followed by Commander Reykur. His appearance was impeccable as usual, while I was strutting about with some black shorts and nothing else.
"Something that...damn, you sure know how to live as of late...since when do you have this place anyway?"
"Bought it a week ago, quite the bargain. Only 14 million. Best security measures you can think of, you get everything you want delivered to the doorstep. And pure luxury inside. Want to see the Jacuzzi?"
"No, thanks."
"Well, alright then, let me grab something to drink for us. Get seated." I said and nodded towards one of the couches.
I went over to the kitchen and pulled two beer out of the enormous fridge. Decapping both I came back and handed him one.
"Cheers!"
He looked at his bottle before trying a small bit while I emptied mine to half.
"Wow, doesn't taste too bad. Where's it from?"
"Earth. Had it imported a bit ago. Bit pricey but worth it. Exquisite taste don't you think?"
He looked at me with wide eyes.
"Imported from Earth? What price we’re talking here?"
"Enough to make you cringe but forget about that. Have to show you that absolutely fantastic 360° surround sound system they installed here too..."
"Coragon, wait a damn moment."
"What?"
"Are you on drugs?" he said and looked at me sternly.
"Excuse me? Just because I'm relaxing a bit doesn't mean I'm going totally overboard!"
"Yeah, we've seen how "not going totally overboard" worked for you not too long ago. Regarding Miss Martian and your unhealthy obsession with her. And now you're swinging into the complete opposite direction like a freaking pendulum. So yes, I'm wondering if you're on drugs, because otherwise I can't explain myself how you go from a lovesick psycho to this!"
I looked at him for about half a minute, then sighed and turned around, looking out one of the windows.
"I just came to the conclusion that I fucked up. Everything. And that there is no reason to go on like I did."
"What do you mean by that?"
I emptied the rest of my beer and placed the bottle on the table before the couches. Standing there and looking at Reykur, I continued.
"I mean that what I thought was love was nothing but my selfish desire to be with her. I was too damn blind to the fact that the word "Love" meant something completely different to her then it does to me. After all she'd been through. Not to mention that she never felt the same for me as I did for her, and a one-sided love isn't really working."
I moved towards the window again, gazing outside at all the different colored lights. And then at mine and Reykurs reflection in the glass.
"She escaped my ship because the way I treated her was wrong, but I didn't want to see that. Back then I was frantic, feeling betrayed. How could she dare to push me away like that? When I only wanted to help her. And that she's been in the company of that Sergeant Jammy didn't really work out for me either."
"Oh yeah, trust me I noticed that." he said and took another swig.
"That distance helped me to see clear, even though it took quite a while. She's still trying to recover from the chaos in herself, to find her own way. Though the company she keeps will get her into more trouble sooner than later. Did you know she accumulated almost a million credits in bounties on her head over in the Andhrimi System? They nicknamed her the "Queen of Carnage"."
"That is...well...damn..."
"Exactly. If that is the way she works out her problems..." I shrugged.
"From what I recall Wing Commander Veyder allowed her and those she sees as friends to pass through our territory, fuel up and so on, on the premise that not a single shot is fired. Since she was part of the Legion for a bit. If they honor the agreement all is well. If not they'll be hunted like all other criminals." Reykur let out after having his bottle almost empty.
"I see. Good. And well, regarding that Jammy guy...it works if she's with people that don't give a damn about her past or at least don't know every bloody detail about it. Considering the memories are forever there to haunt her she doesn't need a moron like me that acts like a damn mirror, always reminding her of it. And if you live in the past you can't focus on your future. Or the present for that matter.
What she needs is not a protector like I aimed to be, but a tutor to help her get stronger. Those who protect others only keep them weak and deny them the chance to grow stronger themselves. And she’ll need every ounce of strength for the days, weeks, months and years to come in her life to go against the demons in her very soul. "
I paused for a moment, lost in thought.
"So, that's all?"
"Not quite."
"I knew it...ok, spit it out, it's late and I have to be up early tomorrow again."
"The other part is my head. Fucked up to the center of the galaxy and back again. And since I don't know how long I have until the bloody thing pulls my plug, might as well start enjoying whatever time I've left right? Not even considering we'd get that damn chip back from Martian in the first place..."
"Ah, yeah, about that..." Reykur started. Then he held up one finger to signal me to wait until he emptied the bottle. After finishing it he placed it next to mine and then rose to his feet.
"We've been through the data again, and confirmed that the chip truly contains your original memories. But it has the lovely addition of a killswitch. You know, instant death if you don't follow your given orders."
"Hm...I see. So retrieving that chip from her wouldn't help me solve the root problem."
"No. But I have to say I would've wished for something like that in the past to keep you in line a bit better..." he said, grinning.
My face was expressionless, but my voice spoke volumes.
"Superior or not, you're very close to be removed out of here. In an unpleasant way."
"Yeah yeah, keep your cool, will you? We have another lead on who else was involved in your reprogramming..."
I smirked
"Let me guess, yet another corporation?"
"Indeed. Atfero Interstellar to be precise. Going to have to get something going over in Aftero to infiltrate their HQ on the Tisserand Ring station. If we find nothing we have two planetary bases to look through, Brooks Camp and Fernandes' Progress. Everything's better then just to sit around and twiddle your thumbs, right?"
"You bet."
"Ok, I'm off then. I see you at 0700 tomorrow at the usual place. And don't dare to be late. Commander Tuzo has been working his rear off for to keep everything going, but he's but one man and can only do so much. It was because of you slacking about that we lost a Election, so you better get back into it asap. We're clear, Commander?"
I held out my hand and he took it.
"We're clear Commander Reykur. I know where my home is, and will do what I can to make it grow and thrive. From here until I draw my last breath. For our Dear Leader. For the Ghost Legion. Ex Umbra!"
We saluted each other, he nodded and turned around. Halfway towards the door he stopped and sniffed the air.
"Say, did you change your aftershave lately? Smells a bit too sweet in here...oh whatever, not that I'd care..." he exclaimed, and disappeared through the door without another word.
I stood there another moment, then said
"Play music."
Placing myself on one of the couches, I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander. To the moment I saw her emerge from the golden FDL, the way she walked, her hazelnut eyes, the skin so pale it could've been made of alabaster. The time I've seen her in the dirt, lying before the Maidenshead Arms pub. Our verbal fights on my ship. The time when we wrestled and our bodies touched, my face mere inches from hers.
So close, yet worlds apart.
I took a deep breath.
"Miss Martian. If we ever see each other again, I hope it'll be with a smile. I thank you for everything, and that you find peace among the stars. The memories of you won't fade until I draw my last breath. But we both have to move on now, and make the best of our lives. Goodbye." I said, imagining her face.
Then I felt two arms sliding on my chest from behind.
I smiled, eyes still closed.
"Sorry, did I wake you up?"
"Mhhm..."
As I opened my eyes they were graced with the sight of her.
Violet.
At least that's how she called herself at the bar where we met this evening. Probably a lie. But with a wonderful ebony body and the face of an angel, who cared for the details?
"When you're done talking to invisible women, how about coming back to bed and use that tongue of yours for something else?
She playfully bit my left earlobe.
"I be with you momentarily. Need to hit the bathroom first."
I stood up, glancing at her well toned naked body.
"Alright, but don't let me wait too long." she added, winked and slowly walked back towards the bedroom, letting me admire her lovely rear cheeks.
"Time to live" I thought to myself.
To be continued...