The Saga of Grendel and Goldilocks (pt 5)
18 Oct 2017Ohgren
Friends, it was glorious. I'll never understand how so many mediocre pilots can get handed the keys to an anaconda and then get sent out to do somebody else's dirty work. Even more amazing is how a pilot so lame can have 150k credits worth of bounties on their head! They must be doing something wrong right, right? This damn galaxy is full of mysteries. In no time at all I had racked up over 3 million in bounty vouchers. I let the cops start the fights and I swooped in for the kill. Those fat 'condas would just roll and spin while I stayed out of the way of the big gun, killed their power plant, and made them go boom. I wonder what the insides of those big fancy ships look like when they aren't blown apart.Turned out, the 10 tonnes of whisky in my hold didn't hurt. They'd scan me then say "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Yeah, right. Only slightly less lame than "My children will go hungry tonight.". Well, it was after one of these "mistaken identity" scans that I spun around and started shooting at an Asp Scout before confirming the "wanted" status. Ooops! You'd think I'd shaved my back and called myself a Thargoid. Every damn ship in the place turned red and lit my ass up like a supernova.
I fumbled around like a space-sick cadet trying to jump. Mass locked! Shit! Power to Shields! Boost! Click. Shit! Power to engines! Jump! Cannot comply. Shit! Retract weapons! The whole time my hull was dropping, dropping, dropping, dropping. The last thing I remember was hearing the voice of one of the same damn cops who stole my bounty saying "lining up the shot.." as red lights flashed and my ship's computer calmly droned "Eject. Eject. Eject." (To be continued....)