Personal Log - Distant Worlds
20 Feb 2019Zinnsei
Commander's Personal Log - 20 FEB 3305En route to the Fleur-de-Lis Nebula.
I am logging this off the record. I know that my logs are being scrutinized for any and all missteps that I make and I know something happened to me but I can't remember what. It has something to do with the journey to Sag. A* and the events that took place revolving around Napoleon's death. I should rather say "the destruction of the Zenith" because I'm not entirely sure what actually took place and what has been implanted.
I started to suspect, shall we say "alterations" to my memory a while back. Little hints when reviewing old logs and comparing them to my memories. Nothing crucial at all, not at all, but discrepancies here and there that might have been overlooked had I not been having these blinding headaches for months. Call me paranoid, but I started to suspect and then I started to dig.
The case as I see it is this:
Something happened, or I saw something that wasn't meant to be seen. It definitely had something to do with Sagittarius A*, the Zemt Quinta Essentia and maybe even with the Zenith, but that part is pure speculation. All I know is that when digging a little deeper into the loss of the Zemt, all the t's aren't crossed and all the I's aren't dotted. Small stuff, but it all adds up in the end.
I now believe that the Zemt was scuttled, but for the life of me I can't figure out why - other than it was there, at the Core, with me and the crew. Leonard seems unaffected by all this. He hasn't noticed anything when I've enquired sporadically. I don't know if I should confide in him or leave him out of this. I shall decide later.
I have started a line of investigation into all this - old contacts from my time on the Persephone and hopefully they will be able to dig up more data regarding the loss of the Zemt and maybe even something on what all this is for.
It feels like a cover-up. I can almost taste it!
I still feel some apprehension about going back to the Core. Something inside me is screaming that the answers are there, waiting. Another part of me is scared to death of returning. I gather it is no doubt because of the tragedy that took place there, but it seems like more than that. A sort of primordial dread.
In any case, this expedition into the black is a great chance for me to discover the answers if they are there. I am expected to deliver this ship and its cargo of engineers and scientists. No doubt I will be watched - not only my logs but someone out there, a part of the fleet, will be looking for any indication that I've caught on. I must step very carefully.
End of Personal Log.