Selling Our Services V: Credibility Problem
05 Jun 2020maehara_uk
Part five of an ongoing series. What point is there in having a whole fleet of spaceships, if no-one knows what you have them for? So, I'm gonna put on my best salesperson patter and introduce you my fleet, and how each ship in it can help you achieve almost any aim. Some suggested uses are more serious than others. CMDR Maehara and Sirius Special Forces - for all your special business needs. If you get my meaning.Today, first spotlight on a medium-pad ship, the Python, Credibility Problem.
A key function for any faction VIP is being able to travel to where you're needed at the drop of a hat. The most sensitive issues require personal, face-to-face intervention. If you're involved in the management of a faction, however, you'll know that every organisation has some difficult staff members who, whether from unfounded fears or just a belief that they're too good to deal with the little people, won't step foot on a spaceship without a list of 'The CMDR will not...' requirements as long as your arm.
"You will not take hull damage." "You will not be scanned." "You will not get caught speeding." You know the list.
But you should also know that research has shown, time and time again, that (for want of a better way of putting it) a little of what would kill you makes you stronger. In keeping with that philosophy, the Credibility Problem offers VIP Experience Flights. Book your recalcitrant VIPs onto one of our special journeys (for best results, tell them they're going on a sightseeing trip or something as a reward for good service - anything but the truth) and let us harden them to the things that spook them through our Scare Them Sensible program.
Afraid of hull damage? The Credibility Problem has no shields and we guarantee will be at less than 25% hull integrity by the time it gets back to dock - without your VIPs suffering any (lasting) harm. Afraid of being scanned? A minimum of two SSF CMDRs will be waiting outside the slot with scanners on standby, and will make sure your VIPs know they've been used - without Station Security lighting them up like a Christmas tree. And for good measure our experienced pilot, CMDR Maehara, will engage boost while still in the docking bay, proving that a minor speeding fine needn't mean the end of the world. Unless she misses the slot. Again.
As an added bonus, we also promise that any and all special requests ('Please locate me one ton of Landmines, I wish to make my journey more comfortable') will be speedily declined, delivering a valuable lesson: that you can't always get what you want. By the time your VIPs leave the ship, they'll be reformed characters and those routine business trips to your faction's most remote outposts will seem like a positive joy that they'll be eager to take. Compared to the hell we'll just have put them through, anyway.
Clients should be aware, however, that success is not guaranteed, and thoroughly-spooked VIPs may have a negative effect on your faction's influence with its adherents. Scare Them Sensible flights should therefore be used sparingly and responsibly, and Sirius Special Forces takes no responsibility for the negative effects that may be caused by overuse.
For more information, and details of supporting research confirming the effectiveness of these techniques, speak to CMDR Maehara or any station representative of Sirius Special Forces, and develop your senior staff the Sirius way.