To the Pirate Who Stole my Poop
15 Jun 2017Penelope Richman
After setting up the holo-imager, I take my seat in a stool and fluff my hair to give it some volume. Gotta look good for the camera, right?“Ahem, To the Pirate who stole my poop,
Two words: FUCK YOU!”
“I mean seriously, what’s wrong with you? Aren't there better targets out there with, like, better cargo? But no, you had to interdict the girl in the sidewinder hauling two tons of fucking bull shit. And you know what else is bull shit? That there is an actual market for bull shit. What is wrong with you people?
“It’s hard enough to make frikkin' credits, let alone having to deal with your ill-gotten lot. And so help me, If I hear any of you say offhandedly -again- It’s easy to make credits, they practically make themselves so help me I will hunt you down and make you hurt.”
I hold up my hand…
“Great, I just broke a nail. You see, this is a dilemma. I have to choose now between looking fabulous, or eating.”
“Thank-you asshole.”
I get up off the stool and turn the camera off.