Joysticks, Not Just for the Boys
22 Jun 2017Penelope Richman
Well, thanks for taking time to view my blog. All three of you. My subscription tripled since I posted my “The Mystery of the Mysterious Mystery Faction” entry. Anyway, something of vital importance came up yesterday. But I think you should get a bit of a back story.I met a guy. Oh, ya. Handsome, strong, and loaded. I mean, looooooaded. We met at a coffee shop and we hit it off quite nicely. Well, he said all the right things but what sealed the deal was when he was willing to buy me some new clothes and shoes! God, I needed new shoes since I had to sell them all in that mining fiasco. But that’s another story.
So ya, we were getting it on and he decided to take me out in his Fer de Lance. Now that is one sexy ship. It made me all hot when I saw it. He asked if I wanted to take a spin in it. Hell ya I would! I mean it beats a crap ass Sidewinder any day.
So there we were all floating in space when the petting gets a bit heavy. Oh man, he knew all the right spots. The kisses on the neck. The soft caresses over my, uh, girls. So, in a zeal of passion…
Now let’s pause right here for a moment. I don’t remember much of my high school biology classes. I was too busy doing extracurricular activities. But apparently there is this thing called evolution. Something about how creatures and stuff adapt to their surroundings. Did you know that gravity is an essential component to successful coitus? Ya, apparently gravity played a part in the evolution of human reproduction.
Nothing….wait, almost nothing is worse than the feeling of frustration of not doing the deed when your all revved up. And by the time we made it back to the spaceport with its rotation gravity thing, the mood had passed.
So, here is my question to the scientific community.
You’all figured out a way to travel faster than the speed of light. Hell, you can like, jump from star to star. You can make force fields that like, keep air in and stuff. You’ve made devices that can rip another ship out of super cruise. You can build massive space stations, and regrow human body parts. WHY THE FUCK CAN’T YOU MAKE ARTIFICIAL GRAVITY GENERATORS?
For fucks sake, how do all those rednecks on the orbital platforms make their inbred babies?