Artificial Unintelligence
25 Oct 2023Silver Taffer
We've all done it! Dismissed our ship to keep it safely in orbit whilst we take care of business on a planet surface. Whether it be surface mining in an SRV, prowling a settlement like a vengeful ninja or, as in my recent case, reactivating a Thargoid controlled military base.Each time we do so we commit our ship to the care of so-called AI.
Artificial Intelligence.
Really?
It all started well enough, dropping a few kilometers short of the target and skimming in at ground level to avoid incoming Revenant fire, hoping to disembark undetected within a kilometer and sneak in.
But just under two klicks out something hovering on the settlement outskirts turned a malevolent red, and a green gaseous trail announced an incoming missile. Sonovabitch, that's a feckin' Banshee, I thought uneasily, looks like they aren't restricted to securing those new Spire Sites, that complicates things just a tad!
Then, just to add spice to the mix, I got warning of an anomalous signal. So now I had an Interceptor gate crashing the party. Perfect!
As I hadn't equipped my AX Krait with shields and the damage began to mount, I figured it was time to get on the bus Gus and make a new plan Stan! Dropping heatsinks like confetti I boosted away and jumped into supercruise.
My second attempt was much more stealthy on approach but that dratted Banshee still detected me, attacking first with missiles, then launching a cluster of caustic mines. I managed to avoid too much damage but received warning of another incoming Interceptor.
Nothing for it but to go for a hot drop-off, either that or go home with my tail between my legs and I'm too stubborn for that kind of ignominious failure!
It had to be fast or that Interceptor would turn my Krait into so much goo-ridden junk!
So I boosted in at around 25m height, deployed landing gear, and plonked the ship down in an inelegant heap some 600m out. Baling out in haste I dismissed the ship, leaving it to it's so-called AI. It zoomed away taking fire from both revenants and Interceptor, jumping into low wake, hopefully not sustaining too much damage in the process.
It seems that, despite their undisputed technological superiority, Thargoid AI isn't much better than our own. They were so intent on my Krait that they didn't seem to notice it had left something behind. Like me, f'r instance!
I ran frantically for the concealing cover of a large rocky outcrop, feeling horribly exposed in broad daylight, finally crouching behind the rock waiting in resignation for the inevitable discovery.
Which never came!
After a nervy five minute wait it became clear that the Banshee and it's smaller minions had gone back to routine patrols. The Interceptor, however, retained a belligerent presence, but you can't have everything I suppose. Summoning my courage, or more accurately my obstinate determination, I began to plan my route into the settlement so as to avoid those damn revenants. Hopefully.
I won't go into chapter and verse on the mission details. Suffice to say I crept surreptitiously around, reactivated the power core then, after a risky dash for the Command building, downloaded some required data.
Mission complete, all that remained was to get out.
In one piece would be good!
With that goal in mind I made a cautious withdrawal and, once beyond the Revenant patrol area, legged it unceremoniously for the planetary wastes, jinking from outcrop to outcrop just in case.
Now, I had no idea how much damage my Krait had suffered on it's departure. All I knew for certain was that I could definitely do without bringing it down under heavy fire, and that bloody Interceptor was still lurking ominously. So plan A was; get at least two kilometres out from the settlement into a terrain depression or valley, wait for the Interceptor to search the far side giving my ship some time to land, then get out of Dodge City fast.
Easy! Good plan!
At least it seemed so until the artificial intelligence controlling my ship thought it a good idea to land on the open plain, barely one and a half klicks from the settlement! I watched in dismayed disbelief, what the actual feck? After my running two whole kilometers, finding a concealed landing site, the stoopid AI chose to settle right on the outskirts of a hostile facility!
It hadn't even set down before the revenants, spearheaded by the Banshee, began deluging it with fire. The Interceptor reacted instantaneously and swept into a murderous attack.
With my heart in my mouth I ran, using my suit boosters to execute long kangaroo hops, watching helplessly as the Krait was being pummeled. Would it last out 'till I joined it?
500m to go, then 400 ...... 200, still surviving ........ 100, hang in there ship, I'm gonna be stranded, else!
Finally, at last, I bundled aboard the beleaguered Krait. Taking quick stock I saw that hull integrity was at 56%, all was not yet lost as long as I got moving. Rising to 20m or so I retracted the undercarriage and boosted away, skimming the ground at over 500 meters per second, terrain just a blur beneath, popped a heatsink to drop temperature and hopefully lose pursuit.
After a helter-skelter 10km dash I yanked the nose up to the vertical and, as soon as I cleared mass lock, hit the drive charge control. As the charge mounted, finally catapulting the ship into orbit, I cursed viciously.
Artificial Intelligence, my caustic singed and blistered arse! Artificial UNintelligence is more like it!