Hooning
07 Jan 2021Tigger
Hooning = Australian slang for someone who drives/flies with no regard for the consequences.Well I am really hooning now thought Tigger as she drove her SRV like a maniac across the planet Fengiri 2a. I came here looking for vanadium so I can get those huge capacity multi cannons for my gunship with the auto loader and bring the dakka dakka (Aussie slang for firing lots and lots of bullets.)
The problem was, despite the Extremely Detailed Data Base or EDDB for short which assured her she could find an average of 10% vanadium per rock, she was having absolutely no luck whatsoever.
I reckon I need to get higher so I can get a captains hook (look) from a better perspective. I wonder if I hit that outcrop just right with the jump jets if that will work.
"Chassis integrity 75% and falling" said Covus.
"Well buggar me sideways"(that did not work) said Tigger as she and her SRV went rolling across the landscape, "bloody worst ramp ever !"
Eventually the SRV finished its impression of a bowling ball and fetched up against a metallic meteorite.
After several attempts with her somewhat bent jump jets Tigger got the SRV upright.
"You beauty" she cried "this one will have some of that bonza (good) stuff I reckon, time to bring the pew pew and open her up"
Several seconds later the meteorite burst, and a shower of iron, nickel, and a solitary nugget of vanadium burst out.
After a blistering blast of profanity, Tigger collected her booty and hooned off into the distance.
There was Vanadium here somewhere and I will find it she thought.
I wonder what this screechy thing in front of me is for ??
Hours later after collecting some more rocks, she summoned her diamond back explorer and flew back to the carrier.
As she landed and disembarked, the chief of the deck was inspecting the SRV.
"You've been hooning again haven't you?"