Logbook entry

Gaining Strength

11 Dec 2017MMMMMalcolm
I hate getting up early and running. I enjoy the benefits. I can run two laps on deck five in two and a half minutes; in boots no less. I no longer gasp for air like a fish out of water. And I especially like running with Kay every morning. I just wish we weren’t running. All the technology of the galaxy and mankind still has to manually do certain things; like get in shape.

And I have never been in better shape. I still have a ways to go before I can do one handed knuckle push-ups; but I can do as many as Kay. I can even keep up with her doing crunches; mine are just with both feet on the deck. And, I can hold my own in a light sparring match; if you count losing four points to two holding my own. The past couple of weeks, I have gotten stronger and my recovery periods have gotten shorter each day.

“Your reflexes are improving,” Kay stated. It was late and we had just sat down in the ship’s galley for a late dinner. I was a little skeptical. I don’t get much casual conversation from her; only barks during self-defense training or responses during passenger missions. Even when we do get together like this for breakfast or dinner, (when we somehow choose not to eat alone in our quarters) I have come to expect complete silence.

“Thanks, a guy can take being slapped around only so much.” A smile flashed then faded from Kay’s face.

“I think it’s time we came up with a plan on getting out of all this,” she added; back on task.

“Okay, but before we do, I feel the need to clear the air. It’s colder than the polar ice caps around here. “

Kay leaned back in her seat, folded her arms, and stared at me across the table.

“I’m listening.”

“Something you want to get off your chest? We won’t survive this if there is anything between us.”

“Yeah I got something. I’m disappointed you’re asking me this and not apologizing.”

“Apologize? For what?”

“How about for thinking you could even strike up a conversation with me, let alone a relationship, knowing your current situation?”

“I told you, I thought I had two months to spend with you. I had planned to get to know you.”

“Know me?! What could you have possibly learned about me in just two months? And then what would you have done with that treasure of knowledge, entered some intergalactic game show? A woman’s emotions, more important, MY emotions are not library books you check out and then cast aside when you get done with them. If you had been the least bit considerate, I wouldn’t be here!”

“And I ask you again, why ARE you here?” Maybe my new fighting skill had instilled this confidence, or was it pride? Whatever the reason, I was done accepting the short end of the stick from people; starting with Kay. “I’m not some stray dog that needs rescuing. I’ve survived these thirteen years, no seventeen years, ALONE! I can handle a few more.”

And there it was. As we sat there staring across the table at each other, I realized what was really between us. Maybe she realized it too? If so, it wasn't evident. After a moment, I leaned forward and extended both my hands across the table to Kay. My tone softened.

“It appears that we two are like systems where our stars, the things around which our worlds orbit, our sources of life, have left us. As a result, our loneliness, like black holes, has grown powerful, insatiable, and destructive. Please forgive my selfishness; I had no intention of involving you in all this. I appreciate your help and I will remember everything you taught me. But, the last thing I want is for you to be hurt. So tomorrow, what do you say we find a ship heading to Sol and get you back home; safe and in time for Christmas?”

Kay sat for what seemed like an eternity staring at me, no through me. Then, without a word she got up and left. She didn’t even clear her plate.

“What was that, Commander Cornball?” I thought. “Two systems, missing stars, black holes? You sure you don’t drink?”

It was true, but man it sounded better in my head than it did in real life. I shook my head, as if trying to erase both the memory and the embarrassment. After clearing our plates and cleaning the kitchen, I went to bed. Ten minutes later I heard the door of my quarters open. By the time I rolled over to go see who had come in, Kay was already under my covers; completely naked, her arms wrapped around me. She kissed me a good twenty seconds before whispering, “Hold me.” Then she rolled over in my arms, and we fell asleep.

The next day, I awoke with Kay still in my arms. Her back was to me, and her hair gently smothered my face. It smelled like honey and milk, and the moment would have been delightful if my right arm wasn’t asleep; pinned under her right shoulder. Plus I had pee something fierce. I tried not to wake her, but my priority was freeing my arm and making it to the bathroom.

She stirred when I reemerged.

“Good morning sleepy head,” I said.

“Morning. What time is it?” she asked sitting up in my bed, the covers wrapped just under her arms.

“0730. I take it you’re not leaving for Sol.”

“Oh, I’m still going home for Christmas. I promised mama. I’m just not leaving today. And afterward, I’m coming back.”

I didn’t say anything, but inside I was doing flips. After admitting my loneliness and facing the emptiness, I didn’t want to be left wallowing in it again.

“If we hurry we can get some exercise in before the Transportation Authority opens its office.”

Wait, what? Did I just volunteer to run?

“After last night… I feel like the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Like a fog has been cleared. My body and my spirit needs time to recover, regain their strength. The Passenger Authority will still be there three days from now. How about we take that vacation you were planning, only shorter? Come back to bed.”

I looked at her intently, not believing what I was hearing. When she smiled, I dropped the t-shirt I was planning to run in, and climbed back into bed.
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