Popularity Sucks
29 Oct 2015Calteru Taalo
There were no openings in the Mining Division. I guess I'm still Philip J. Fry as a result. :-p Anyway.So I'm running my regular corporate route - AviCorp's line of Progenitor Cells to 12 d Bootis, Palladium from there to our regional partners, etc. - when I get a call from dispatch. I'm supposed to pick up some Tea on the next run, because OMG the station is out of caffeine and we're all gonna die and so on. I'm all like "sure, I gotcha" and I pick some up from Nicholson since it's just a few hundred Ly from Asher. Simple trip, right?
Hah. Since when is anything ever "simple" in that wondrous region of space us locals call The Up?
Almost immediately after jumping out of the system, BOOM! My comms start squawkin'. "Hey man, I need to talk to you!" "OMG that shipment looks tasty!" "HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR GIL GERARD?!" You get the idea. While I'm trying to sort it out, one of 'em lights me up and at that point I'm like "screw it; their various gods as well as the salvaging crew can sort it out".
Boost, FA off, flip around, roll out the guns, power to said guns. It's almost a trifling checklist these days, conducted at speeds well in excess of fast in environments man was never meant to utilize for war. But that's humanity for ya. We'll fight anyone anywhere any time, for all reasons.
I command CLUCI to target the offending vessel. It's a freakin' Sidey. The comm crackles to something resembling life, and some chick's giving me the business about how there's a half-ton of Onionhead mixed in with the Tea she'll now be taking from me.
"Yeah, right, you're gonna bust my hull open with a weaponized WiFi router," I smirked. "What the hell is this, some kinda joke?"
Another crackle, and a deep, mirthless laugh joins in right about the time a huge flash of light to portside nearly blinds me. "Yep - and here's the punchline!"
Radar now shows two ships - the aforementioned Sidewinder, and a much more worrisome fully loaded Anaconda.
I stopped smiling.
I guess the Sidey's pilot thought I'd give up on the spot. I'm having a hard time explaining how else she just sat there long enough for me to lock on, but whatever. One button, two missiles, no Sidewinder. The 'Conda opened up with its beam cannons and frags, doing a number on my shields in the process.
I punch the SCB. Shields keep draining, draining, draining, then finally hold and stabilize. I hit it again. I'm not taking chances. Besides, I hate getting the paint redone.
Guarantor can take most things in a straight-up all-out barfight, but one of the few things to which this truism does not apply are Anacondas. But she can outdance 'em, easy. Rolled her around to reverse course, punch the boost, FA off, fire while I rotate past. Sparks fly as the 'Conda's shields break. I launch another salvo of seekers. They both score - apparently, Carlos Mencia here didn't think anyone would ever get past those shields and never bothered to install countermeasures.
I didn't let him live long enough to correct the mistake.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy another half-ton of Tea and figure out where to stash this Onionhead... -Sid