I fired Lena.
02 Aug 2021ArchAngel-7
Since 2017, Lena has been a member of my crew. She was not only an excellent pilot but a beautiful woman as well. That all changed a couple of months ago around the end of May.......It had been the first time off of the ship...in what seemed like forever. After using the facilities for the first time in what seems like the first time. We all boarded back up for a mission. That when I turned to "Lena" and asked who she was, seeing as I had no recollection of hiring this woman.
The confused look on her face told me to question the very words that came out of my mouth. She told me to stop joking a few times until she knew I was serious. She pleaded with me..."Its me Lena! Hello!"
I simply did not recognize her. The woman who stood before me had large brown eyes on a round and bloated face with short white hair.
I asked her sternly "Who in gods name are you and what have you done with Lena!?"
"Commander!?" she said, " I am at a loss for words, it is I, Lena".
See the thing is...Lena is beautiful. Blue eyes, smooth angelic face with full and red cupid bowed lips. The person standing before me was not Lena. The rest of the crew was also suspicious. We threw her in one of the holding facilities until we all agreed what to do with her. Was she a spy? What happened to Lena? Why do all her scans say she is Lena, when she looks nothing like the Lena Dillon we remember.
We all thought about it long and hard. Each of us bantering about the possibilities. Then it occurred to me....we had just disembarked and boarded the ship.......
How long had it been since we even left the ship?
I asked the Navigator, Ricky... "When was the last time we had disembarked from the ship?"
Ricky's eyes grew wide as he let out an answer with held breathe "I can't.....remember."
We all affirmed that we recognized each other...but there were other odd details that seemed....new...changed. Like somehow the very fabric of the universe had changed and with it...one of the crew had been...changed.
In the end we dropped "Lena" or whoever she was off at the nearest Starport in Sol and started looking for some new crew.
The peculiar thing is, every single pilot we interviewed was insanely unattractive. They either looked like they were way past retirement and/or hooked on onionhead, hush and push all wrapped up in one. If they didn't look like they were tired and malnutritioned, they looked like all they did was eat.
Look, I get it... beauty is only skin deep but what kind of world are we living in where every SLF pilot you interview needs a bag over their head.
The search for a new SLF pilot continues....