Logbook entry

ONE WEEK KING - Balandin Gateway

Two days ago, the sisters had their talk. This being outside the scope of the man of which they spoke, much of what they told one another will have to remain a mystery.

However, one small thing that Madisyn did confide into Felicia can be revealed.

"I've been over the record. What I don't understand is why he was such a poor fit for Canonn.
Commander Wingnut seems to be a reasonably competent explorer, and his drive is definitely there."

"You don't understand," Madisyn protested.
"There's something... *odd* about the sort of things that happen to him on a regular basis."

"Explain, if you would kindly."

--:-:--

"Well, for one thing - on an expedition to Colonia, he claims to have experienced a "Frame Shift Divergence" event - and at last count there are still 1,300 temporal instances of Commander Wingnut still unaccounted for. We believe they are engaged in a guerrilla war against the staff of Eagle Secure."

"Uh-huh."

"Then there was the time the Busted Flush evidently lost control of its hyperspace drive and continued to accelerate past its mark in a distance best measured in light-months. I still have the course of his Loop of Shame plotted on the map."

"Uh -"

"The GALAXY map."

" - oh."

"He's listed in the history books as the first person to mug a Thargoid."

"Mug?"

"As in, literally throw a mug into its face. And then rob it."

--:-:--

Felicia gaped soundlessly.

Madisyn continued. "Then there was the incident where he vandalized an Imperial Clipper with a mining laser - normally genitalia of such unusual size are drawn on the side of an asteroid. The Cardinal was not pleased in the least"

"This all, I must admit, sounds a little bit incredible, Madisyn.
There is no way a single pilot could have been so much of a nuisance for a research organization as serious as yours."

"Oh no? You ever heard of a Pogo Ball?
Do you know where it comes from?
I think you should see this video.
It explains a lot."

Madisyn patched it through, and Felicia watched it expectantly. An image of two researchers examining the torn-up remains of a Thargoid Marauder's propulsion unit appeared, approached by the Commander who began gesticulating wildly and pointing at it.

Within moments, the color was draining from the Shadow President's already pale face, leaving her white as a sheet.

Commander Wingnut had already set the piece of alien anatomy - a dual-chambered gas bladder, from the looks of it - and squeezed it between his feet. He now balanced awkwardly on the bony disc, and began to bounce.

With a combination of horror and disgust, the researchers pointed and argued as Wingnut hopped across the hangar like an astronaut - before one of them demanded to try the same.

--

This was where the trend had come from. EVERYONE by now, and their dog, was bounding through starports on something much like this. It had especially caught on as a convenient form of conveyance on low-G worlds.

No self-respecting Engineer, for example, went anywhere without their trusty Pogo Ball.

"That's - wait. Is that where - no."
In disbelief, Felicia floundered, her hands wringing uselessly.
"What are you two getting me into?"

"Something very strange. Good luck, big sister. You're gonna need it"

"Wait, but that means..."
"Yes. He's the reason phrases like "gotta bounce" are starting to make a sudden comeback."
"God DAMN it, Madisyn!" the Shadow President whined.

"First, I want to agree with you, Commander. This is as irregular as it gets, but seems that's how it's been since Day One where you're concerned.

Let's not mince words. I've read your record - very exhaustively."

"Well, let's touch on the points that got you where you are today.

Somehow, despite the fact that you've never been a Federation citizen, you've somehow managed to attain the rank of Post Captain in the Federal Navy Reserve.

You've both been in bed with, and kicked into the doghouse by the Sirius Corporation. You are both the progenitor of AND the only reason the Galactic Institute for Political Correctness exists."

"A one-week tenure with the Socialist Party of Yuri Grom. Two months with Canonn Interstellar, then you filled out the last month working with AEGIS Research.

And now you've been gallivanting around the Nebula for a week, hunting starfish, pulling people out of burning starports, and scanning everything bigger than a soccer ball.

All with every Imperial pilot trying to pull you over along the way. The only consistency in your record is that you've always been - and will probably always be - a Hutton Orbital Trucker.

You're looking for a direction. I will give you one."

"There is. But that's the least of your concerns. President Zachary Hudson, bombastic a leader of the Federation if ever there was one, does not have the most efficient track record to go with it."

"I will put your skepticism to bed early, Commander. You work for me now, not President Hudson."

"Your assignment is deep cover. You will report in to the infirmary and identify yourself. We have a top-clearance Federation surgeon there who will help you get into your new face and provide you with an altered bio-identification chipset.

You will then be given a doctored API key containing your last three months of flight time with the tail number of the Serial Peacemaker scrubbed.

You will then place the Peacemaker into storage and assume command of a Keelback, which has already been transferred to the Shipyard at Balandin for your use.

From there, visit the Crew Lounge and select any pilot of your choice to accompany you. I do not have to tell you that they may not know the details of your mission."

"Mister Vega absolutely will not be joining you until after your assignment is complete. You are not to have -any- contact with Federation personnel beyond what is necessary to do your job as a pilot.

In fact, it is highly probable that any contact will result in violence, for which you will be held personally responsible if it could have been avoided."

"Cubeo.

Rear Admiral Commander Wingnut - congratulations, by the way - you are going to pass yourself off as an up-and-coming Imperial officer, with the cooperation of Engineer Hera Tani, to eventually infiltrate the court of none other than Princess Aisling Duval.

Once you've accomplished this step, you'll get further instructions from my office."