Encounter at Tharpoint II
26 Dec 2018Commander-Wingnut
Eventually, Wingnut realized that for all of the abuse the enormous Thargoid Interceptors had inflicted on the stations, not a single one had actually gotten inside any of them.After consulting a diagram on INTERPEDIA, he asked an off-duty Traffic Controller about what he'd found over lunch.
"Hey. So, according to this picture, they're really, really big - but they could still fit through the access corridor.
How come they don't just.... you know... slide in sideways?"
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The mess hall fell silent.
All eyes turned to Wingnut.
The Controller threw aside his glass of milk and sprang in a desperate effort to clamp both hands over Wingnut's mouth.
But it was too late.
The future refused to change.
From somewhere above their heads, they could already hear something enormous bwoo-woo-woo'ing its way into the hangars upstairs, directly over their heads. It was followed by an eerie alien honk, long, curious, and hollow.
[ *WONNNNNNK?* ]
--:-:--
"YOU DAFT FOOL!" people were screaming.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
--:-:--
--:-:--
--:-:--
The entire station was rock still. At least a dozen NPC's and one other Commander were hunkered under desks and tables, arms folded overhead as they waited for the shooting to start.
--:-:--
Not one person moved.
Even the resident dog, a Momus Point bog-spaniel, dared not utter one single quack.
--:-:--
The crew members gathered in the galley (one of whom presently was trying to squeeze Wingnut's lips into one piece with both hands) remained frozen in place.
--:-:--
After what seemed to be an endless minute, the distinctive bwoo-woo-woo of the alien ship faded as the Interceptor turned sideways and slipped out the same way it came in. As it left, they heard the titanic starfish-like alien honk again with an almost mournful note of disappointment.
[ *wah-wah-waaah* ]
--:-:--
Half of the diners remembered how to breathe. A few had not been quite so lucky and collapsed where they had stood, hyperventilating. The station Overseer was busy puffing into a paper bag.
"I thought -" Wingnut began once his mouth was freed.
"I thought you guys would actually have considered that something like this could happen."
"You idiot."
"Sir?"
"Of course we thought about it. We all did.
At some point, there's always been some bright bulb coming on and suggesting silly things like," he put on a sarcastic, mocking tone;
"wElL, wHy DoN'T the THARgoids cOMe iN SidEWaaaaAYS?
And you know what? we put a stop to that kind of thinking right away.
You know why? Because as soon as someone says it, it's gonna actually happen!"
"But if you -"
"No. Stop talking. Every time someone starts thinking, they start talking.
And when they start talking, other people start getting ideas.
And then when they get ideas, they gotta try those ideas.
And when people try new ideas, other people have new problems.
And guess who THAT 'other people' is?"
"You?"
The controller nodded angrily. "Us."
"But there's no way a passing Thargoid could have possibly - "
"Be that as it may, now they all know they CAN get in, if they want to.
Thanks a fucking lot, Commander."