A glimpse into the unknown
17 Jan 2018Boldreight T. Hannak
So, I've immersed myself in this infinite dark which is the 'Verse. Silent. Deep. Comfortable. Silent. Abundant. Can't find any intriguing words than those I just wrote here. I can'tl help thinking about how majestic and thrilling is flying in the dark ocean of the universe with the Wandering Owl.I could easily loose myself and drift away, far away, without even knowing that. I searched for years an answer to all my questions. About space. About forces we don't even see. About love. And now, it seems, I think I've found all those answers, condensed in a single, touching moment.
I'm flying with the Owl and I just feel something truly astonishing is coming from those engines, that hull and from my chair. It's me. It is definitely me. I found the vibrant emotion in all those moment, eventually. And I'm grateful for that.
I'm grateful for that sun, exploding its very rays on my metallic back. With all its powerful and colorful energy, while I'm flying toward the unknown of the Galaxy. The mysterious hearth of the 'Verse, which is calling and driving me mad.
I'm passing by this big silent giant and it stares at me. Wonderful. I'm in distress, in front of all this power. I'm scared and yet, driven to get there. To the next star. To the next waypoint. I've never asked this kind of life but I've always been in love with the stars. I couldn't help thinking about them. All the time.
I always knew I would ended in a cockpit, eventually. But the feelings I'm feeling right now are so different from what I thought they would be. They're transcending. They're everything right now.
I stare outside the glasses, on my right, and I see it. Beautiful. Immense. The gas giant and the metallic ant. So distant and yet so close. In a glimpse of an eye I can quite touch it, it seems. I could go over and over my feelings and fears and get there, asking what would it be to be there, inside that monster?
Then I turn around and go. I leave it behind, along with all my fears and doubts. Comfortably seated in my chair. The commanding chair of this vessel, while leaving all behind. I'm moving on. I'm leaving. Never coming back. Until the next time, maybe, who knows.
And while the sun shines on my back I remember all those moments, as a young man. Moments I spent trying to figuring out what kind of man I would be. A man of great discovers, maybe. A man of respect. And I find, in here, another answer. I'm a man. Just a man.
With all my doubts, all my experience and all my feelings. I'm pushing thrusters in the right direction. The direction I need to follow. That I want to take. Decisions I wanna take. now and forever. They're guiding my hands on those sticks.
And I find myself lost again, in the vastness of space. Moving toward the next star. The next station. It's all quite a dance, you know? A terrific dance, with a ghostly dancer, which leads your way, note after note. I can't see him but I indeed feel it.
He's holding my hands, in this cockpit, tonight. He's pushing forward. Pushing forward. Every day. Every hour of my life. He wants to explore. To feel alive, inside this ship. To feel and see through the glasses, like trying to reach the other side.
But there's no other side. We're already there. Both of us. We're trapped in this beautiful and yet terrifying dimension where anything is possible. Anything is right away for you to be grabbed. Just lean your back and relax, feel the rhythm of the stars.
The outstanding accordion of this gigantic and melancholic assemble which represent our life. I can try to unite the dots, maybe. But I'm scared of the big picture, you know. I'll stick to the sticks and push it forward.
Push it. Over and over. Until the next station will be in sight. Then I'll be safe, once again. Safe from the infinite bliss of the 'Verse. Safe from myself. And happy like never before. Happier than ever. Until the next sail into the unknown.
What a bliss.